Rather Die than Change?
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By Paul S. Williams
I once said to an older Christian, “You do not really believe the truth will set you free, do you?” The gentleman was honest enough to admit that he did not, in fact, always believe the truth would set him free.
Pop psychologist Dr. Phil is fond of saying, “Well, you can be right, or you can be happy!” While his words are too simplistic, I tend to agree with Dr. Phil. Why do we cling so tightly to our perspective on things?
I have come to the painful conclusion that most humans would sooner die than change or admit they are mistaken. I have long observed that most of the evil done in the world is committed by people convinced they are absolutely right. All those suicide bombers truly believe their behavior is righteous.
The need to be right is usually a power play. When I was in the sixth grade I was a member of the School Boy Patrol. In my best Barney Fife imitation, I would go to a recalcitrant student’s teacher and inform her of the student’s misdeeds. When the teacher reprimanded the student, I felt righteous and powerful. When the teacher chose not to punish the student, I walked away humiliated, her exhibition of grace a sword in my self-righteous side. Grace often humiliates the ego.
Whether a sixth-grade patrol boy or a corporate leader, the sequence is the same. First comes the desire for power, followed by the will to take control. Once you have power, you come to believe you are always right. Then you force your “truth” on others and receive the payoff, “See, I am indeed powerful.”
Grace, mercy, and forgiveness thwart the power-demanding ego. Genuine openness is an even bigger threat to power. We Christians always say we are open to changing our minds. Yet when someone challenges our position, we respond with a dismissive, “I’ll pray about that.” But after praying, how often do we change our minds? Prayer always seems to confirm what we already believe. Amazing.
Genuine openness demands honest self-examination coupled with a willingness to listen carefully, without defensiveness or retribution. It is always hard work. It’s much like watching grace given to those who do not deserve it: genuine openness demands giving up the need to be right. It is being open to the truth, even if it is coming from halfway around the world instead of from your back pocket, where you thought you had safely stashed it.
It takes courage to believe that truth will set you free, and to admit you may not already be in full possession of it. It takes faith to live with an open hand, always willing to pursue truth wherever you may find it.
Lacking all context, it is impossible to tell whether your remark to “an older Christian” was as condescending and smart-aleck as it appears at first glance. Presumably, his acknowledgement of the truth of your observation assures us of your having been in the right.
The underlying theme of many of your essays seems to be that change and open-mindedness are good in nearly every case, while the root of all evil is recalcitrance and certainty that one is right.
Certainly change can be good, and open-mindedness is a cardinal virtue of modern society; however, there are eternal verities which rightly admit of no change, and what some see as an open mind all too often turns out to be the mask of those who are ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
The truth shall set you free, but only if ye shall know the truth. The cynical Pilate asked Jesus, What is truth?, certain only that truth is unknowable, little realizing he was in the presence of the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. When change is urged upon us that is counter to the plain teaching of God’s word, then I confess that I too had rather die than change.
Change can be good and necessary, but Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today, and for ever.
I understand the way this article was meant to be going but let me just say from your statement :.
” I have long observed that most of the evil done in the world is committed by people convinced they are absolutely right. All those suicide bombers truly believe their behavior is righteous.”
Where have you personally observed a suicide bomber? Having been there myself I think you might want to retract that statement.
Not all of them believe they are righteous in fact a great many of them are trying to merely save their families from death by some very evil people. Many of the people of strap the bombs on while threatening the lives of the kids of the bomber don’t believe they are righteous either. Many of those who plant IEDs are not sure of their righteousness either. I know because I’ve talked with them at little villages throughout the middle east.
Other than that thanks for the article.
Brent,
I appreciate the decidedly different understanding, based on your personal experience. Thanks.
Neal,
The “older Christian” and I always had a good relationship based on very open exchanges. I miss him greatly. By the way, we both believed, “Jesus Christ the same, yesterday, today, and for ever.” Can’t say I appreciate the inference that I might not hold that belief.
Paul
Paul always appreciate your columns. Seeing that type of evil and meeting the people who live their lives in fear makes a change in the way you look at that type of violence. I just can’t put that side by side with someone who believes they are doing right in our American Churches and yet is hurting growth or even people’s spiritual lives.
Thanks again for the reply.
Paul,
The inference is your own.
As for the implication, I was merely pointing out that when, for example, one laments that one’s colleagues or former students have not changed their views over the years, as opposed to growing in wisdom and knowledge and embracing change, one should ensure that the changes one embraces are consonant with the Word, especially since Jesus hasn’t changed either.
Sorry for your loss.
Paul, Thanks again for another compelling editorial.
I agree, we must continually check our motives as we assert truth, lest we abuse the truth. There is a difference between standing for the truth and insisting that the truth stand. The latter is motivated by insecurities about the truth–as if the truth depends on me (or, “us”–creating an “us and them” dynamic) to prop it up. It is only when I fear that what I believe might be uprooted and dismantled that my confidence in the truth turns into a sort of “aggressive certitude” (as Peter Berger put it).
Jesus’ parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector (Luke 18) shows how ego and power-plays abuse truth and turn it into self-righteousness. The Pharisee was “right” about extortion, injustice and sexual sin. And, he was “right” to fast and tithe. But, he was self-righteous like others who “trusted in themselves that they were righteous.” If we, abuse the truth to “exalt” ourselves above others, we have fallen into the trap of self-righteousness.
Also, we must avoid developing a prideful lack of self-awareness that approaches the truth without humility. We must place ourselves “under” the authority of Scripture, and not “over” it. Scripture is God’s Word, not my interpretation. “We can never come to the end of being surprised by Scripture” (Howard Marshall).
Ryan,
Thanks for the thoughtful comments. Do you know where I can find the Berger quote?
Paul
It’s from “In Praise of Doubt” (p. 73).