your mama

A couple of my friends lost their mom in a car wreck several years ago. Other friends tolerate relationships with their mothers ranging from strained to abusive to non-existent. Two friends struggled with infertility issues for years and almost adopted a baby only to have the birth mother change her mind at the last minute. Two others adopted a child; she's now an adult, an addict, and a prodigal who's left them to raise a grandchild. Some of my single friends long for a child of their own and don't appreciate the reminder of another year ticking by. And one friend is currently undergoing shots, tests and ultrasounds to try to become pregnant. She'll find out Monday--the day after Mother's Day--if she's carrying a baby.

Given all the complex emotions surrounding motherhood--being one or having one--I wish churches showed more sensitivity in recognizing Mother's Day each year. I suppose there's no harm in acknowledging it, but leaders must realize the day is not all corsages and overpriced buffets. For every woman experiencing hope or happiness this Sunday, another will be working through grief, regret, or anger.

So if you're wrapping up (or just starting) your remarks for this weekend, please consider the range of life stages and hurts represented in your congregation. Each of the friends I mentioned will be in church this Sunday morning--they could be in your church.

Oh, and a hint for next year: this does not mean adding baby dedication to the morning's activities. Wound, here's some salt--start rubbing.

pros and cons

The top shelf of my closet is now cleaned out......................... because the huge Rubbermaid storage container filled with bed linens fell on my head.

I am now at my goal weight..................because the stomach flu doubled back for one last hurrah before summer in Tennessee.

I am getting to know my neighbors..........................because someone pulled the fire alarm for my building at 3:00 Sunday morning and it took the fire department 20 minutes to get there and turn it off.

I've had better weekends.

reservations required

In sixth grade my Sunday school teacher asked, "If there was no heaven, would you still be a Christian?" The answer he was looking for (which I didn't understand then) was yes, because even if there was no life after death the opportunity to know God in this life is worth it.

I agree with that now, but for those not yet convinced ReserveASpotInHeaven.com ensures that, regardless of your choices in this life, you can spend the next one in comfort.

The Essential kit (for $12.79) includes your reservation and first class ticket, Official Heaven Identification Card, and a "Heaven 101" guide to help you get acclimated (so to speak).

Pay three bucks more and get the All-Access kit, which includes all items from package one PLUS a VIP pass to allow entry to exclusive areas like the Land of Milk and Honey.

Understandably, all sales are final but the site offers a 100% satisfaction guarantee--"If for any reason you do not make it to Heaven then we will refund your money with no questions asked," they promise.

And for that impossible elder or the church member who has everything (and refuses to tithe on it), these same low prices also allow you to reserve a spot in hell. Hey, Mother's Day includes mothers-in-law, people. Shop now.

shades of gay

Last week I heard Dennis Jernigan, a worship leader who's written popular choruses like "You are my all in all," speak about his previous identification as a homosexual, his "deliverance" from it in 1981, and his ministry since then. Jernigan and his wife have nine children, so I guess the transition, um, "took" for him. (Although nine does seem like overkill; dude, we get it, you're straight.)

I have to admit I'm skeptical of gay and lesbian "reversal;" I think some people are born with a tendency toward homosexuality. Now, before you get angry, think it through: that's not a justification of homosexual behavior. However, it is a belief that we live in a world broken and twisted by sin, and just as some people are born more likely to become alcoholics (but can choose not to drink), others are born more likely to experience homosexual desires (but can choose not to act on them).

This is not a popular perspective among Christians because it's not as black and white as believing gays and lesbians have simply chosen to rebel against God. It requires muddling through big questions in a larger grey area: Some homosexuals come from happy families with no history of abuse or parental neglect--if those are the triggering issues, why are they gay? What about the many healthy, heterosexual adults with childhood horror stories--why aren't they gay?

Wrestling with this issue also forces us to rethink our blanket categorization of "them" and makes it more difficult to distance ourselves from a lifestyle we may find distasteful as well as sinful. Perhaps, as fellow rebellers-against-God, we are not as dissimilar as we'd like to think.

In a recent Relevant article, Steve Brown writes, "I have a friend who says that you see a lot of fat preachers yelling at gay folks, but very few gay folks yelling at fat preachers. He was making the point that nobody has the luxury of speaking as an outsider of the human race..." So what about church life: can a celibate, accountable homosexual serve in church leadership? If not, can an unaccountable overeater?

I'm not sure if homosexuality is biological destiny or willful choice. Either way, the church will--must--grapple with these issues in coming years. If homosexuality is a choice, we must provide a compelling alternative community to the ones currently enjoyed by people in alternative lifestyles. (In its reaction to the AIDS crisis, the gay community has modeled friendship, family and sacrificial love for each other in ways the church should have.) If it's an inborn tendency, we must provide a well-articulated, grace-filled rationale for God's design of one man and one woman, and offer support for gay people to choose celibacy or move this direction--with or without having enough children for their own soccer team.

Okay, I can't take it anymore

In that subject line, "can't" is short for "cannot," right? The easy way to discover whether you are using contractions correctly is to replace the abbreviated version with the two words the shortened version is replacing.

So, for instance:

Randall gives each of his pets its own warm blanket to sleep on.--Correct

Randall does not think its a problem to have a "For Sale: Meat and Pets" sign in his yard.--Incorrect (on several levels)

I just read a slick brochure from LifeWay with "it's" used incorrectly. If I'm the only writer in Tennessee who knows these rules, it seems I should be making lots (not lot's) more money.

extra, extra

Most DVDs now come with extras--deleted or extended scenes, commentaries, or "making-of" featurettes. While the printed word doesn't lend itself to this in quite the same way, blogs and websites do allow for behind-the-scenes glimpses into the final product.

Last weekend's Christian Standard included my article for the "year of the elder" (all CS contributing editors will write something on this topic in '08). You can read "Leading Men," about the efforts of a few churches to develop teenage and adult men into spiritual leaders, by clicking here. And while I'm quite aware these won't generate the excitement of, say, the screen tests for Juno, here are a few extras:

--Turns out women aren't the only gender who have trouble being friends in groups of three. One year, Heritage Christian had an odd number of guys in their "Joshua's Men" classes and tried dividing the men into groups of three instead of the usual accountability groups of two. They found it didn't work at all--apparently there is something quite powerful about that one-on-one partnership.

--The Men of Issachar program at First Christian Church in Ft. Myers, FL, got its start when Mike Bauman got restless during his Sunday school class and left to stretch his legs and pop in on his 6th grade son's class. As Mike and MOI co-founder Mark Webb say, "Classrooms are fine, but boys learn differently."

--Although MOI now has a detailed, structured curriculum for every stage of the program, at the beginning Mike and Mark's main goal was "not to get eaten alive" by the junior high boys in their class.

--One of the speakers at the Joshua's Men meetings is Vickie Sloderbeck. She and her husband Jim speak on "intimate issues" (i.e. sex) based on the book of the same name. Vickie wrote the companion workbook to this book.

--Both Heritage and First Christian have seen a need for parallel women's studies. At Heritage that's "WOW"---Women of Worth--and at First Christian it's "Queen Esther's Court," created by Mike Bauman's wife and some other ladies from the congregation. Like MOI, Queen Esther's Court introduces spiritual principles through interactive activities and a structured yearly program.

--A homeschool group in Michigan recently joined the roster of MOI "Allies." The group uses the program to provide activities and discussions for homeschooled boys and their dads, who meet individually and with other home-schooling families once each month.

happy birthday to me

Here's to another year of marching to the beat of my own drum!