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10-7-07 -- Emotional Times for Missionary Moms, Dads
Parent Company
“If your child joins the military and serves overseas, people expect you to experience a certain amount of anxiety,” says Diane Stortz. “But if your child moves far away to preach the gospel, you are expected to feel only happy and proud. Perhaps our church culture discourages parents of missionaries from acknowledging negative—but normal—emotions.”
As her daughter and son-in-law accepted the call to Bosnia in 2002, Stortz searched for help in navigating the new experience. When she discovered very few resources for parents of missionaries—or “POMs”—she partnered with Cheryl Savageau, a counselor at LifeSpring Christian Church (Cincinnati, Ohio), to start a support group for other couples with adult children preparing to leave for the mission field.
“The group was very helpful as we counted down to Sheila and Scoggins’s departure,” Stortz remembers. “I connected with other people who understand the mixed emotions associated with parenting a missionary and I learned to be honest about those feelings—both the joy and the grief.”
After launching the group, Stortz and Savageau also created The National Network of Parents of Missionaries. LifeSpring added the organization to its missions budget, and a member at the church maintains its Web site.
“A few other POM groups have started in other parts of the country, and we regularly hear from parents looking for help,” says Stortz.
The ministry also serves parents by educating their missionary children, an interesting and unexpected side benefit.
“At the National Missionary Convention many young people told us, ‘My parents are so upset about my choice to work on the mission field, and I don’t know how to help them,’” Stortz says. “Or, from those with a little less maturity, we heard, ‘My parents are crazy and unsupportive!’ Cheryl and I shared our perspectives, helped them understand their parents’ feelings, and encouraged them to communicate more honestly.”
The two friends are currently at work on a book, tentatively titled Parents of Missionaries: How to Survive, Thrive, and Stay Connected When Your Children and Grandchildren Go Overseas, scheduled for publication next year.
“We don’t have all the answers, but we’re real and we’re willing to admit this process doesn’t always feel wonderful,” Stortz says. “God designed us to find healing and growth in relationship with other people, and we want to help parents of missionaries grow together into this new phase of their lives.”
www.pomnet.org
Northern Hospitality
In addition to Indiana University, Bloomington is home to the Midwest Proton Radiotherapy Institute, one of only five proton therapy facilities in the country. After Phil Thompson, facilities manager at Sherwood Oaks Christian Church (also in Bloomington), received life-saving treatment at the institute in 2004, he developed SOCC’s “Hoosier Hospitality” program to serve other cancer patients and their families.
Because the therapy consists of 44 hour-long treatments spread across more than two months, the patients and their caretakers need short-term, affordable housing. To meet this need, several families in the congregation launched the ministry by donating second homes or condos.
“Each home is fully furnished—guests simply bring their own clothes and personal items,” Thompson says. “We charge $19 a day, which covers utilities and routine maintenance.” Teams of volunteers clean the homes between visitors, and the ministry currently takes no money from the Sherwood Oaks budget.
Volunteers also build relationships with the temporary residents.
“People travel from all over the country to receive treatment here, and for many it’s their last chance,” Thompson says. “They’re usually frightened and in need of friendship.
We just try to incorporate these families into our regular lives—inviting them for a meal, taking them to a movie, and being available for whatever they might need.”
Although hospitality recipients come from many backgrounds, the volunteers invite each one to participate in the life of the church by attending services and the Wednesday night all-church meal.
“We hosted an Amish family in one of the homes. Their daughter was 8 years old and suffered from a brain tumor,” says Thompson. “They attended each Wednesday night and stayed so she could sit in on the children’s choir practice. When the family left Bloomington after her treatments, her mother told me, ‘Phil, I do not know if my community would accept you and do for what you what you did for us.’”
It’s about that kind of service. “Whether they’re Buddhist, atheist, or lifelong Christian—we just want to serve these families.”
www.socc.org
Down to Business
Every Monday evening, a group of self-employed entrepreneurs and other business leaders gathers at The Crossing, a Christian church in Las Vegas. Although this group of almost 60 people includes successful men and women from many different fields, “The Business Crossing” exists for personal growth rather than professional networking.
Jim Barickman, an original member of the seven-year-old church and a commercial developer by trade, partnered with Michael Besson, another church member and a master trainer for motivational speaker Tony Robbins, to establish and lead the group.
The Monday evening sessions include training from Besson or another source, Scripture study, and prayer. Barickman and Besson ask new members to sign a statement of faith and a confidentiality agreement before joining the group, and expect them to participate in mentoring relationships, pray for each other during the week, and actively serve in a local church.
“This is a discipleship program for believers rather than an outreach to non-Christians,” Barickman says. “We develop a community of connections for these independent professionals and challenge them to integrate biblical principles into their business and personal lives.”
www.thecrossingonline.com
Jennifer Taylor, one of CHRISTIAN STANDARD's contributing editors, lives in Nashville, Tennessee.
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