Did you start Real Life with the intention of being so focused on small groups?
Initially we had to start with small groups because we had no place to meet. We met in people’s homes. Then we started noticing that in those small groups real growth was happening in people’s lives. We didn’t have the equipment or staff for building, so how could we grow? We researched what the Bible says about discipleship. It turns out we were doing what the Bible says and the results were amazing. It was just a journey of learning.
What does the Bible say about discipleship?
It’s a process. Share, connect, minister, disciple. It’s a biblical process that Jesus took his disciples through. He shared his life with them. He connected with them. He pushed them out into ministry. Then he debriefed them, and finally he sent them out on their own to make disciples.
How do you define a small group? Is it always a “Bible study group”?
The Bible plays a central part in it. It’s a group from three to 18 people with an intentional leader and it’s Bible based. Some people have small groups for finishing tasks, but a small group is for the purpose of spiritual growth and discipleship.
How does a group keep the intensity level high?
For us it’s a relational environment for discipleship. It’s not a social club, and it’s not a group where everybody just shares their problems. Sharing problems is OK, and there’s a place for that, but it’s intentional relationship for discipleship.
Have you had detractors? How do you handle them?
Sure. The church in America has developed its own culture—and it doesn’t work. But people hold on tight to that. People say, “What about controlling these groups? You don’t have enough control. How are you going to doctrinally teach these groups?”
So . . . how do you doctrinally teach these groups?
We have an organizational structure that supports what we’re doing. Every leader has to go through our “301” class every year to relearn the fundamentals—there is accountability. Not only do we have curriculum we teach every year, but we have people whose job it is to oversee those groups to make sure they are orthodox. We do a lot of stuff with CDs that people can listen to in their car, and we offer classes at different times of the year to help people grow.
Can a church be effective without a small groups ministry?
Nope.
How can a church without a small groups culture make the transition?
They have to decide what they’re doing is wrong. I believe just putting on a show once a week is wrong. Once you decide what you’re doing is wrong you have to do what is right. It doesn’t make everybody happy. They’ll hear people say, “Our people are too busy.” If they’re too busy, they’re wrong. What are they busy doing? Chasing after the world. They’re not spending time in the Lord’s work. They go to church every once in awhile, but they’re wrong. The spiritual leaders are the elders and pastors and teachers, and their job is to give them what they need and not what they want to hear.
How does a new church make small groups a part of its DNA?
You start out with that mentality. Everything you do leads to a small group. Churches need to start with the groups first and [then they can say], “Oh yeah, we have a worship service.”
Church is more than Sunday morning.
You’re the church every day, and that happens in small groups. The church’s job is to make disciples, and disciples are made in small groups. You’ve got to decide what you value, you’ve got to create an organizational structure to support what you value, and you’ve got to talk about it until you’re sick of talking about it.
What makes for a good small group?
You have a curriculum that gets people involved and talking—a lot of communication that centers on the Bible. It is facilitator-based, not teacher-led. You want people involved in talking, not one person talking and everyone else listening. You have pastoral care that happens there and you have relationships that exist beyond small group meetings. These are people who are getting to know each other and are in relationship with each other beyond their Bible study group.
Should small groups divide at a certain point?
Yes, they “branch.”
But don’t you run the risk of splitting up people who have developed these strong relationships?
Every group has to figure out how it works best for that group. You’re dealing with people, so you’ve got to work through each of these groups individually and relationally. The coach plays a big part in all of that. You never just break them out as individuals. You have some people who are closer than others. You find there are three couples who really get along and two other couples who get along, so you might branch it with the apprentice taking two and the leader taking the other three. There’s not a set plan for how they branch.
You mentioned a coach and an apprentice. Tell me about the coach.
The coaches oversee groups. Some have three groups; some have eight or 10 depending on how much time they have. A retired guy might take 10. A guy with a family might take two, but those coaches really help the small group leader and the apprentice with branching the group based on the context of that group.
What is the role of the apprentice?
Every group has to have an apprentice. His job is to watch, help make phone calls to people who are missing, and lead the facilitation when the leader’s not there. It’s a person who is a potential leader the current leader really invests in.
How long does a person serve as an apprentice?
It depends. Was the guy a Christian for years and has he led other small groups? Does he have facilitating skills? It depends on the group. Sometimes you’re forced to move things along because you have to branch apart faster. The coach plays a huge part in that.
What is the character of the groups?
We have men’s groups, youth groups, women’s groups, singles’ groups. The structure is always the same—a leader with a job description and a coach. The women’s ministry leaders have coaches who have small group leaders.
So small groups don’t just happen. There is a leadership technique to making them work effectively.
You must have an intentional leader who knows what he is doing and who understands the purpose of the group. You need an intentional leader, a relational environment, and a reproducible process. Undiscipled people who are in relationship are just a “bomb waiting to go off.” They’re “about themselves” because it’s a social club—it’s a clique. If a leader is not making disciples out of these people they can be cancer in a small group.
Are your groups based on geography, or interest?
The care groups, which are husbands and wives, are all geographic, but the women’s ministry and men’s ministry are more based on interest. Someone might be doing “Women of the Word,” or someone else might be doing the “Power of a Praying Wife” or some other specific interest group.
Do you have people in multiple groups?
Yes. For example, we’ll have a woman who goes to a women’s Bible study with her mom, but she’s also in a care group with her husband.
How many people on your staff are dedicated to small groups ministry?
Every ministry is in small groups. That’s a part of everybody’s job. Even in the youth ministry and children’s ministry, we want students to understand what it means to be in a small group and love it so much that when they get to adulthood they want it so much that they wouldn’t exist without it.
Do you have some staff who do nothing but small groups?
We have eight who are overseeing eight regional communities—one community pastor for every community.
Do you still have a lot of people who come to church but aren’t in a small group?
Sure, if they just refuse and just go to church services. We’ve got a number of those. I always tell them though, we’re going to put pressure on you to be in a small group, but if you want to just come to church, that’s up to you.
Brad Dupray is senior vice president, investor development, with Church Development Fund, Irvine, California.
Photo ©Jason Hunt/Coeur d'Alene Press
