By Larry W. Bailey
The afternoon sun shone brightly as I returned home from school that spring day. I was feeling good about my experiences in eighth grade, so the sadness I sensed upon entering our home was in sharp contrast with my sunny disposition.
My parents had just learned that my grandfather and grandmother had been involved in a tragic train wreck. Grandma died, and Grandpa suffered various injuries. As a Christian family we struggled with the horrific loss of a healthy loved one, yet knew that Grandma had maintained a strong Christian faith and was prepared for her eternal home.
This event was my introduction to dealing with the death of a loved one, and it had all the elements of a crisis situation: shock, loss, depression, confusion, uncertainty, and questioning one”s confidence in God.
All of us face crises as part of our human journey, so we must learn to cope with difficult situations. As Christians, we will inevitably be in a position to help others who are struggling through life”s troubling experiences. We become helpers to those in crisis, both within and outside the family of God.
Several principles may help us be more effective in our ministry to those going through troubling times. We will consider a model of crisis intervention that is Christian in orientation, comprehensive in accounting for all aspects of our being, and conveyed in a model that is easy to understand and apply.
Understanding “Crisis”
Experts generally consider people to be in a crisis when they perceive or experience a difficult situation for which their usual coping mechanisms and resources are not adequate. They experience discomfort, disequilibrium, and disorganization. Precipitating factors may involve traumatic events, the culmination of the ravages of illness or aging, a natural disaster, or inner conflicts that have been triggered by a seemingly innocuous event.
A person in crisis enters a time of instability and vulnerability. Such stress and uncertainty are the elements of change, potentially positive or negative. The Chinese symbols used to depict the word crisis are a combination of two markings, representing “danger” (breakdown, lost hope) and “opportunity” (breakthrough, growth). Though they may not know this at first, people in a crisis have the potential for either regression or progression.
Here are four important concepts for the person assisting someone in crisis:
“¢ The person helped, not the helper, determines the severity of the crisis. I may wonder, “What”s the big deal?” Perhaps I have faced an even “worse” ordeal in my life, and I cannot grasp why the person isn”t able to handle the situation adequately. This thinking interferes with my understanding and ability to assist the person(s) in crisis. I may not know all the factors contributing to their situation, so I need to be patient and empathetic rather than judgmental.
“¢ The helper must assure that his/her own emotional and spiritual adjustment is in good order. This is the only way to handle the intense emotions and harsh language that may be expressed by the person in crisis
“¢ The helper may need to provide guidance and direction for awhile, then gradually allow the person helped to resume self-direction. A crisis is usually not the time to use the counselor”s classic “nondirective” approach.
“¢ The helper needs to discover the resources available within the church body, among the family, and in the community of the person being helped. Being a helper during a crisis is not the time to assume the role of the Lone Ranger.
A Model for Crisis Intervention: The Five R”s
Since a crisis situation typically involves intense feelings and confusion, it is useful for the helper to have a simple model of intervention that is easily recalled and gives attention to all aspects of our personhood: relational, emotional, intellectual, behavioral, and spiritual.
“¢ Relate. Research and clinical observations consistently demonstrate the vital role of establishing a good relationship between the person helped and the helper. The person in crisis may feel abandoned, violated, and/or hopeless. The helper must provide a supportive and hopeful relationship as a first step in the process of working through the crisis.
Several factors are necessary in establishing rapport:
1. Maintain a “perhaps I can help” attitude. The person in crisis is already facing doubt and uncertainty, so the helper cannot be tentative and hesitant.
2. Demonstrate Concern (genuine interest), Acceptance (unconditional warmth), Respect (appreciation of strengths), and Empathy (perceiving and feeling with the person in crisis). These CARE attributes are consistent with numerous passages in Scripture relating to agape love and sensitivity to the feelings of others.
3. Be a good listener. As we listen fully to the person we”re helping, he or she feels affirmed and able to share more. Note Solomon”s admonition about the importance of carefully listening prior to giving an answer (Proverbs 18:13).
“¢ Release. People in crisis experience difficult emotions. Expressing these is an integral part of the process of dealing with crises. The person helped entrusts her “real me” to the helper without defense mechanisms such as minimization or rationalization. The helper”s ability to tolerate emotional intensity will allow more complete release of the feelings and allow a healing catharsis (an inner cleansing).
In most situations the person helped has many mixed feelings that may be incompatible with each other, and may lead to statements toward God or others that are later regretted. The helper allows the person helped to sort through contradictory feelings and ease his concern about “going crazy.”
The helper encourages expression rather than repression in order to reduce the development of depression. We find many examples in Scripture that illustrate the expression of difficult emotions (e.g., Job, David, Jesus), and the importance of “weeping with those that weep.” People in crisis need to know it is not un-Christian to experience and express strong feelings.
“¢ Recognize. Following the emotional outpouring associated with encountering a crisis, attention is directed to the cognitive dimension. People in crisis often have unreasonable expectations of themselves and/or others, so it is important to assist them toward improved thinking processes.
What are the meanings being attributed to the crisis? What is the person”s self-talk? As the emotional intensity subsides, consideration can be given to understanding the situation more realistically and managing it in a reasonable manner. At this point we find the potential for insight and a readiness to reconsider priorities. Such is the “opportunity” in a crisis situation.
Many passages in Scripture communicate the significant role of our mind and how we think. For example, we know we are to be Christ-minded (Philippians 2:5, 1 Corinthians 2:16b), direct our thoughts toward positive things (Philippians 4:8, Colossians 3:2), and be “transformed by the renewing of [our] mind” (Romans 12:2). Paul demonstrated the powerful role of interpreting life experiences as he faced untimely and unfair imprisonment. He construed his imprisonment as a chance to witness and to write noteworthy letters to the early churches, rather than as an occasion for disgruntlement, despair, or depression.
“¢ Redirect. Resolution of a crisis must include the behavioral component. The person helped needs to move from affect to action, from clear thinking to constructive living.
Helping people through a crisis may result in improved coping skills, better communication, and more abundant living as a result of dealing with difficult issues. We need not limit ourselves as helpers to simply restoring a person”s adjustment level before the crisis. Instead we should encourage personal growth and increased effectiveness. This may include positive adjustments in priorities, improved capacity to receive from and reach out to others, and increased willingness to take steps of faith.
Church leaders have some advantages over professional counselors when assessing the behavioral aspects of working through a crisis. Ministers, elders, and teachers are in a good position to note whether the person helped is resuming participation in congregational life. The office-bound clinician may need to rely primarily on the recovering person”s subjective report, and this may be less than accurate. Church leaders can make objective observations and encourage meaningful participation in ongoing activities. Becoming more Christlike certainly includes moving from learning to faith to action.
“¢ Reflect. During this phase the helper and the person helped review what has happened, giving special attention to spiritual growth. They reflect on the events and their impact, the lessons learned, and ways the future may be affected. It may be necessary to help the person resolve guilt for some of the statements made in heated emotional expressions. Emphasize the hope we have in Christ, and the assurance of his presence as we move forward in the journey. Encourage the person helped to draw upon spiritual resources such as God the sustainer, Jesus the companion who also experienced difficult situations, the Holy Spirit as comforter and guide through Scripture, and church connections and support. Look at biblical accounts of crisis followed by great victory (e.g., Joseph, Job, Jesus, Paul).
As the 5-R model of crisis intervention is used, we include the significant aspects of our personhood addressed by Jesus as he formulated the greatest commandment: “Love the Lord with all your heart (emotional), soul (spiritual), mind (cognitive), strength (behavioral) . . . and love your neighbor as your self (relational)” (Luke 10:27, 28). We have an opportunity to help those in crisis find hope and growth in him.
Dr. Larry Bailey is manager of behavioral health services at AdvanceMed Stanford in Richland, Washington.
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