By Victor M. Parachin
Sometimes the loneliest person in a community is the minister. Being a spiritual leader can be one of the toughest jobs of all. Often the hours are long, the pay minimal, the criticism considerable, the pressure constant. It can all combine to create feelings of disappointment, discouragement, and defeat.
We must remember that our spiritual leaders””those who minister to us through their words and deeds””are human and need our support and encouragement. Paul may have had spiritual leaders in mind when he instructed Christians to “serve one another in love” (Galatians 5:13). Here are a dozen suggestions for encouraging your minister and other spiritual leaders..
1. Cut the criticism. Here”s a good lesson from Fred Rogers, a Presbyterian minister who was the creator and host of the children”s television program Mr. Rogers” Neighborhood. He once gave an address at the 150th anniversary celebration of St. Vincent Archabbey in Latrobe, Pennsylvania. During that speech, Rogers described the time he was a student at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and attended a different church each Sunday in order to hear a variety of preachers.
One Sunday, he listened to “the most poorly crafted sermon I had ever heard in my life.” But when he turned to the friend who had accompanied him, he found her in tears.
“It was exactly what I needed to hear,” she told Rogers.
“That”s when I realized,” he told his audience, “that the space between someone doing the best he or she can and someone in need is holy ground. The Holy Spirit had transformed that feeble sermon for her””and as it turned out, for me too.”
Unlike most workers who receive a performance evaluation once or twice a year, preachers are often critiqued weekly after each worship service. It is not unusual to hear “The music was poor” or “The sermon was boring.” Before uttering such words, all of us would do well to remember that most spiritual leaders work hard to make worship a unique celebration each week.
2. Pray regularly for your spiritual leader. Ask God to shower your minister with an abundance of love, hope, joy, faith, peace, power, wisdom, insight, and courage. Pray for your spiritual leader”s maturity and growth in the faith.
As you pray keep in mind this wisdom from Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe: “If you treat a person as he is, he will stay as he is; but if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.”
3. Express appreciation in writing. A compliment spoken is always welcome but one received in writing can be read again and again over many months and even years. So, when you hear a sermon that was especially helpful to you or when you see an act of compassion and caring from your spiritual leader, write a note expressing appreciation.
4. Use your skills to make their lives easier. Are you proficient with computers? Help your minister master the art of computer use. Are you a mechanic? Offer to service the car free of charge or at a reduced fee. Are you a medical professional? Provide your spiritual leader with care.
One minister recalls an experience with great warmth. “I was pastoring my first church, a very small congregation with limited resources. Correspondingly, my salary was extremely low. While there I developed a series of dental problems and knew I could not afford treatment. What a joy it was when a dentist in the church offered to treat me, free of all charges. I have thought of that dentist many times since then, and the memories of his kindness continue to bless my life.”
5. Squelch gossip. If you hear a negative comment, respond with a positive one. If misinformation is being spread, correct it with the right information. Or, if people are gossiping, just walk away. Remember the Bible soundly condemns gossip and careless speech.
“If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless” (James 1:26).
6. Where there is a need, offer to help solve it. Some people simply make their spiritual leaders defensive and angry by saying, “You need to. . . .” That approach is seldom welcome and almost always counterproductive. If you see a need approach your spiritual leader by saying, “I”d like to help by. . . .” If you see possible improvement, take responsibility for the work involved to implement your idea.
7. Respond to your spiritual leader. Nothing so animates and excites a spiritual leader as seeing people respond to his preaching and teaching. Imagine the surprise and delight of this minister who greeted a visitor to his church. The woman explained she came because of the unexpected kindness of her neighbor who was a member of the church.
“I”m recently divorced, a single parent, and new to this community,” she told the minister. “In order to keep up with rent and provide for my three children, I must work two jobs. That leaves me very little time for maintenance or yard work. I was relieved when the weeds didn”t overrun my yard as I had feared they might. However, when I made an unscheduled trip home in the middle of my workday, I saw in a flash the reason why the weeds had not taken over my yard. There was my 86-year-old neighbor, a member of your church, on his hands and knees pulling my weeds. I barely know this nice man and he was very embarrassed to be caught in this anonymous act of kindness. He explained that he heard you preach a sermon on the importance of living a life of compassion and kindness and decided to put that sermon into practice by weeding my lawn.”
8. Minister to your ministers. Take your spiritual leader out for lunch with no agenda except to truly listen. Ask how he or she is doing. Let your spiritual leader share dreams, goals, aspirations, fears, and frustrations. Say very little, listen attentively, and respond with as much warmth, understanding, and support as you can.
9. Get Involved. Support your spiritual leader”s ministry by moving from the role of mere spectator to active participant in your spiritual community. Get involved by teaching a class, leading a workshop, attending a retreat, singing in the choir, feeding the hungry, or housing the homeless..
10. Specifically identify how his ministry is affecting you personally. Encourage your spiritual leader by explaining, in detail, how you took his advice from a lesson and applied it to your life. Show him his teaching, preaching, and counseling is having a positive impact in your life.
One minister”s heart filled with joy when a group of women responded to a sermon preached from the words of Jesus, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1). After hearing the sermon, the women decided to give a baby shower for the young woman who provided child care for their Bible study. The woman was unmarried, pregnant, close to going on welfare, with no support from her family or the father-to-be. The young woman was moved to tears by the surprise baby shower.
11. Give your spiritual leader a special treat. Depending upon your own resources, invite your spiritual leader out for dinner as your guest; offer to pay the cost for a special seminar or retreat event; give him the gift of a few vacation days at a condo by the beach or a cottage on a lake.
12. Abandon preconceived expectations of your spiritual leader. Drop all personal agendas and preferences about how your spiritual leader should operate. Don”t expect that your present spiritual leaders will do things the same way their predecessors did. Instead, focus on how your leader is being used by God to do effective ministry in your presence. Pray and reflect about ways you can support your spiritual leaders in their work.
By engaging in such acts of love, you will ensure that spiritual leaders will not only be encouraged but will feel appreciated, loved, and valued as they continue to minister with enthusiasm and energy.
Victor M. Parachin writes books and contributes to a wide variety of publications from his home in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
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