By Lisa Jernigan
Did you ever notice that working with people can be, well, challenging? Now put several people together to form a team and you have some unique possibilities! You have heard that team means Together Everyone Accomplishes More. But what if we take it a step further to be more realistic about what a true team means?
Let me suggest a new way of looking at team: Thick skin, Ego”s out the door, Accountability and commitment, Managing yourself.
Being a part of a dynamic, successful, intentional, and impacting team requires perseverance. (This is not for the faint of heart.) It absolutely requires large measures of trust, acceptance, and grace””not lip service but lifestyle living. Functioning in this kind of team is the most rewarding, exciting, and significant aspect of ministry, life, work, or play.
For a team to work well, respect is essential. The way you communicate is everything! Acknowledge and embrace personality differences instead of trying to change them. We have found that on our Girlfriends Unlimited team this has made a difference.
Let”s take a closer look.
It Starts with . . . Thick Skin
Not everyone will agree with you. Believe it or not, sometimes your feelings will get hurt. Sometimes you will feel inadequate, invalidated, and misunderstood. And that can cause you to want to quit, but don”t! Hang in there and work through it.
Continues with . . . Ego”s Out The Door
It”s not about you. Have you heard that before? Too often we go into something for what we can get out of it, and when we don”t get our way we pout. (Yes, even as grown-ups we still pout, just more sophisticatedly and cleverly!) There is no place for this type of thinking on a team or in community. Be prepared; you will not always get your way. When egos go out the door, true teamwork, true ministry, and great relationships happen and everyone wins.
Encourage each other. Grow together. Complete each other, don”t compete with one another! “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). Ask yourself, “What is best for others around me?”
It Also Requires . . . Accountability and Commitment
Accountability and commitment mean everything! When the going gets tough (are you kidding, you are working with human beings!) and it will, don”t let emotions or your own agendas govern your commitment. Knowing that those around you are committed will allow you to push through the tough stuff and together reach your goals for your ministry and life. Accountability will ensure that egos won”t run amuck. Give each other permission to keep each other in check.
Commitment is a choice, and we believers need to develop this lost art. It”s OK to ask for commitment. Just as we expect this in our marriages, commitment should be the foundation for a person”s decision to enter a ministry.
Make Sure You . . . Manage Yourself
Make sure you keep yourself in check with self-examinations of your heart and soul. Ask yourself the tough questions about where you are with the Lord. Are you living for yourself or for God? Are you a clean vessel that God can use? Is your heart filled with self or filled with God? Are you a person of integrity? Do you think we instead of me, myself, and I?
Reality Check
The fact is you will have train wrecks. There won”t always be harmony, and that is OK. How will you handle differing opinions and ideas? Strive for unity and not necessarily uniformity. Create an environment where people are free to express their opinions as they respect the opinions of others. Give each other permission to share freely and respectfully. Be open to change and realize that things will change!
Any effective community acts a lot like a team! A team consists of two or more individuals with a common bond or goal who share the same heartbeat. They think we instead of me, myself, and I!
As Christians, we are on the most significant team of all. It requires we thinking if we are ever to impact the world for Christ. The world is watching to see how authentic we really are and if we walk our talk.
John 13:34, 35 says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” It is our love that sets us apart . . . our love for one another.
As 1 Corinthians 13 states: love is patient, kind, not envious, boastful, or proud. It isn”t rude, self-seeking, or easily angered. It does not keep track of wrongs. It doesn”t delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It protects, always trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Love never fails!
We thinkers know how to love. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). OK, you might never be asked to give the ultimate sacrifice for a friend, but are you willing to sacrifice your pride, your need for validation and recognition, your desire to control or be the one up front . . . for a friend or team? One requires a one-time decision, and the other requires a decision every day!
A We Thinking Community
I recently met a new friend, Brittany, who made a decision this past summer to follow Jesus. For her this meant sacrifices . . . a career of 18 years, a relationship with her boyfriend, and her home.
Brittany was an exotic dancer. It was the only lifestyle she had known since she was 18. As a dancer, she made a substantial income. Suddenly she was faced with new challenges and needs. This is where the Christian community took action.
Women surrounded her by providing a home, counseling, a place to worship, prayer support, help in finding a new career, and lots of encouragement! When my friend Patty and I first met Brittany, we realized she needed more than we could offer . . . she needed a community!
Brittany is living one day at a time in a community that has embraced her for who she is, and shared each member”s gifts to meet her needs. It has been amazing to watch the body of Christ at work!
We Makes a Difference
Using a simple word like we makes a huge difference to the hearer of the message and the sender. Our society has trained””no, brainwashed””us into thinking it is all about me, myself, and I! Are you guilty of this “I” disease? It”s contagious and vicious!
The sad reality is that me, myself, and I are not much different inside the church walls than outside. In our leadership and ministries this disease is killing us from within and keeping us from being the church Christ called us to be. Instead of a safe place, we are creating divisive, self-destructing, and fruitless environments. Sometimes this happens because of the desire for selfish gain. Other times the perpetrator is overcompensating for low self-esteem. In either case, people on the outside looking in don”t want what we have, and those inside live and serve unproductively, sometimes longing to get out.
How do you see yourself in relationship to others? The we difference influences marriages, relationships with coworkers, ministry teams, friendships, and most importantly our relationship with Christ! When you begin your day, how do you anticipate what lies ahead? Are you planning to do it Lone Ranger-style or do you ask God what you can do together with him?
God wants us to have a we relationship with him and join in some amazing, life-changing, eternity-altering experiences. What difference does we truly make? It makes all the difference in the world and beyond.
Lisa Jernigan is cofounder and chief visionary officer of Girlfriends Unlimited (www.girlfriendsunlimited.com), an international organization that addresses key issues women struggle with: (1) caring for themselves; (2) taking time to develop friendships; (3) dealing with isolation and the need to belong.
Featured in Today”s Christian Woman magazine, Girlfriends Unlimited is becoming the trendsetting resource for churches and groups who desire to reach today”s women and expand their ministry to women of all ages. Their innovative concepts for connecting and encouraging women in friendships and in life have been implemented by groups and organizations globally. Members of the group have appeared as regular guests on a local ABC morning show and also work with the station to host “Girlfriend Nights” to help connect the show and its personalities with viewers.
Lisa is married to Cal Jernigan, senior pastor at Central Christian Church of the East Valley in Mesa, Arizona. They have two children, Jeremy, married and serving in ministry, and Amy, a college sophomore.
0 Comments