Practicing Christian Kindness: Five Ways to Make It a Daily Habit
Victor M. Parachin explores practicing Christian kindness as a daily expression of faith. Drawing from Scripture and real-life examples, he offers five practical ways to make kindness a priority in thought, word, neighborhood life, and relationships with others.
- Small acts of kindness can have a lasting impact on another person’s life.
- Scripture presents kindness as a central Christian virtue and fruit of the Spirit.
- Kindness grows when believers make it a daily priority and actively join others in doing good.
By Victor M. Parachin
A woman wrote an advice columnist to share how a simple act of kindness prompted her to seriously change her lifestyle. Signing herself as “Slimming Fast in Florida,” the woman explained she is one of those “oversized” people who more than fills an airline seat.
While on an airplane that was filled nearly to capacity, a “good looking gentleman” sat down in the seat beside her and greeted her with a friendly, “Good morning.” As he buckled his seat belt, he said to the woman, “I always feel cramped in these seats. Would you mind if I raised the armrest between us?” Slimming Fast in Florida knew “he didn’t feel cramped. He wanted to make sure I was more comfortable.”
During the flight the man complimented the woman on her hairstyle and the “lovely dress” she was wearing. “His remarks had a lasting effect on me,” the woman wrote. “Since that flight, I have lost 23 pounds, thanks to a gentleman who didn’t scowl at an overweight woman, but instead, made her feel attractive.”
A small act of kindness can have a large impact. “A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles,” observed author Washington Irving. So important is kindness in daily living that the Talmud—a series of rabbinical writings put together from the first through sixth centuries of the common era—declares: “Deeds of kindness are equal in weight to all the commandments.”
The apostle Paul cites kindness as a key Christian virtue by writing, “The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness . . .” (Galatians 5:22). Here are five ways to bring back kindness.
1. Begin by Reminding Yourself That Kindness Is in Short Supply
Psychiatrist Edward M. Hallowell, author of Human Moments, describes our times as a “culture of rancor” in which people are constantly “argumentative, attacking, loud, opinionated, self-righteous, cocksure, divisive, disconnected.” Hallowell offers this additional observation: “Sometimes when I’m stopped at a traffic light, I look at the faces of the drivers passing by in front of me. So many look so grumpy! I know sitting in traffic is not exactly happy time, but I still think these faces represent a national problem: We simply do not get enough positive human contact in our daily life. Emotionally we’re running on fumes, if not on empty.”
Do your part to offset this dilemma by being a person who is kind in thought, word, and deed. Apply daily the exhortation of Scripture to “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness . . .”
(Colossians 3:12).
2. Make Kindness Your Daily Priority
J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan, suggested: “Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary.” No matter what you do or where you live, commit to making kindness a priority in daily life. Whether you are a busy professional or engaged in a trade or work as a homemaker, make it a daily goal to speak and act kindly. “Bring back pleasant conversation, eye contact with strangers, family dinners, and an ability to praise people and thank them for what they do right,” advises Hallowell.
Moses made kindness a priority of his life. Exodus 2:16ff tells of seven women who approached a desert well to water their flock. A group of shepherds, upon seeing the defenseless women, attacked and drove them away. Moses came to their rescue. He not only persuaded the shepherds to leave the women alone, he helped the women water their flock and remained at their side to ensure their safety.
3. Let These Seed Thoughts of Kindness Grow in Your Soul
Deepen your desire to be kind by reflecting on these words of wisdom concerning kindness:
“Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind” (Henry James).
“It’s easy to criticize others and make them feel unwanted. Anyone can do it. What takes effort and skill is picking them up and making them feel good” (Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, a Hasidic master).
“In this world, you must be a bit too kind in order to be kind enough” (Pierre Marivaux).
“When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people” (Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, writing near the end of his life).
And add to those inspirational sentences these calls from the writers of Scripture:
“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10).
“Love is patient, love is kind . . .” (1 Corinthians 13:4).
“Make every effort to add to your faith . . . kindness” (2 Peter 1:5-7).
4. Practice Kindness in Your Neighborhood
“While the spirit of neighborliness was important on the frontier because neighbors were so few, it is even more important now because our neighbors are so many,” is the wise observation of Lady Bird Johnson, wife of former President Lyndon Johnson. Be considerate of your neighbors and act kindly toward them.
When Microsoft founder Bill Gates and his wife, Melinda, were building their enormous 65,000-square-foot home in the small community of Medina, Washington, they knew the massive construction effort would be disruptive to their neighbors. Before starting construction, the couple invited neighbors to their old home to show them their construction plans and answer any questions. Then they published a newsletter about the project and paid to have their neighbors’ cars washed whenever construction dust was a problem. Finally, when the house was completed, they threw two parties. The first was for the construction crew and the second party was for the neighbors.
As a result of the Gates’s kindness, several neighbors have campaigned to establish a Bill and Melinda Gates day in the community. “They deserve respect because they’ve earned it,” said more than one of the Gates’s neighbors.
5. Piggyback with Others Who Are Acting Kindly
Support others when you see them engaged in kind actions. Don’t allow yourself to be a mere spectator of kindness, but plunge into the arena and join them.
Mia Daveline, a 36-year-old secretary, asked her employer for a month off with pay to care for her husband, Kerry, who was suffering from stage IV melanoma. It couldn’t be done, she was told. Coworker Alicia Rodriguez asked other workers if they’d join her in giving up vacation or sick time for Daveline. Quickly, a kindness team was formed, and 17 workers donated 20 days, with pay. Factoring in weekends, Daveline had her paid month off to help her husband.
Finally, as you act to bring back kindness, remind yourself that anyone can be kind and everyone must be kind. A perfect time to begin bringing back kindness is immediately. So as you go through your day, offer others a word of thanks, a nod of approval, a sentence of appreciation, a surprise compliment, or simply a smile.
Victor Parachin is an author and freelance journalist writing from Tulsa, Oklahoma. This is the fifth his series on the fruit of the Spirit appearing throughout 2008.
