When You Feel Like Giving Up, Giving In, or Getting Out

By Rick Grover

I probably shouldn”t be writing this on a Monday. But deadlines are deadlines, and ministry, as you know, isn”t all about how we feel . . . even (and perhaps especially) when we feel like giving up, giving in, or getting out.

I didn”t always feel this way, and I don”t always feel this way now. But it is Monday. And I, like so many other preachers, look back on Sunday with those “woulda, coulda, shoulda” thoughts that drag us downward.

Maybe I”m sounding a bit overdramatic, but I don”t think so. Ministers don”t always like to talk about their feelings of wanting to give up and sell used cars, because we”re supposed to be strong and have all the answers. But we”re not always strong, and we often don”t have all the answers.

It encourages me to read how prophets like Elijah and Jeremiah struggled with “down times.” It helps me know that even faithful servants of God throughout the ages had times of wanting to give up, give in, or get out. And so, for all of us whose armor is a little rusty and whose twinkle has left our eyes, I hope my therapeutic ramblings will bring some semblance of hope to you.

Do Your Duty

Now that I”m done whining, I want to share a story of an experience I had in my first year of ministry more than 20 years ago. My grandparents came to hear me preach one Sunday, and I looked forward to their visit with great anticipation. I admired my granddad, who mentored me and modeled bold leadership and a tender heart.

After the worship service, we had a potluck dinner during which the phone rang down in the basement. Now, the phone never rang at that church. In fact, I didn”t even know we had a phone. But ring it did, which then led to a frantic response from the woman who answered it: “Mrs. Smith, your husband just died, and they need you to come to the hospital right away!”

Mrs. Smith looked right at me and said, “Follow me!” I”ve never seen an 87-year-old woman move so fast. This was my first experience with death, and, quite honestly, I didn”t know what to do.

I looked at my granddad, who pastored for more than 50 years, and he could see the fear in my eyes. I didn”t know what to say, what to do, and I felt like I might even cry (which is hard to admit).

My granddad, who was usually gentle and affirming, grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me square in the eyes, and said, “Rick, go do your duty!” It was the next best thing to a slap in the face, and it got me moving.

I”ve never forgotten that. Every time I face a monumental challenge (and we”ve had a lot of them lately), I can just picture my granddad rattling my cage and getting me back on track. So if you feel like giving up, giving in, or getting out, REMEMBER YOUR CALL! Remember that God has set you apart for this task, and it”s not always going to be fun. So, go do your duty!

Keep Your Eyes on the Goal
I started running awhile back, and I”m still waiting for the “runner”s high” they keep telling me about. If it doesn”t happen soon, I”m going to ask for a refund. One thing I”ve noticed, however, is that if I have a reason to run, it sure makes it a whole lot easier.

A couple of folks on our staff talked me into running a half-marathon with them. My goal is simply to finish. I”m not worried about setting any world records; I just want to cross the finish line.

With a goal, I”m highly motivated to get up early three days a week and run. When I don”t have a goal, it”s a whole lot easier to hit the snooze, roll over, and convince myself that I”ll run tomorrow. (I don”t need a lot of convincing.)

I find this to be true in ministry as well. I can”t serve on yesterday”s strength. I need to stay fresh, keep my eyes on the goal, and always have something I”m shooting for that gets me going. When I think of guys like Ben Merold, Wayne Smith, and Bob Russell, I”m inspired to keep my eyes on the goal and to keep “running the race.”

I know you”re familiar with Paul”s words, but it”s good to read them again: “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14).

Dave Stone, senior minister at that little church in Louisville, Kentucky, commented at a leadership conference last year how difficult it has been to step into his new role after serving as Bob Russell”s preaching associate for so many years. He said it even got to the point where he put a jar of marbles on his desk, and every day he would take out one marble. He made a commitment that he wouldn”t quit until he “lost all his marbles.” He”s still there.

My wife reminded me the other day that when you sit in the shade of a tree and look up, all you can see is the tree, and it looks far larger than the sun. It all depends on your perspective. The truth is that a problem is never bigger than God.

I don”t know about you, but I can have 10 people tell me I did a good job and one person who thinks I should have started selling used cars 10 years ago. Which one gets my focus? The one who thinks I”m in the wrong profession. This is when I need to refocus and keep my eyes on the goal.

Quit Trying to Go It Alone

I love the story of the Israelites fighting the Amalekites in Exodus 17. As long as Moses held up his arms, the Israelites were winning. But every time he lowered his arms the Amalekites began to surge ahead. Finally, Aaron and Hur held up Moses” arms, and Joshua and the Israelites were victorious.

Sometimes I feel like I”ve got to hold up my own arms as though everything depends on me. That”s heresy. I”m not the savior of the world””why, I”m not even the savior of our church! I have a role to play, and God has called me to serve, but he never called me to serve in isolation. I need help, and I have to quit trying to go it alone.

God brings many gifts to his church, and all of them are needed. If others can type better, sing better, even preach better than me, I need to get out of the way and let them glorify Christ and help build up the body of Christ. If I”m trying to go solo, I will burn out, which will lead me to giving up, giving in, and getting out.

I have three different accountability partners I meet with every week. The hardest thing for me when I meet with these men is to shift from being the teacher to being a student. We need mutual accountability, and thus sometimes we need to let others speak into our lives just as we”re accustomed to doing in their lives.

Well, I think I”m done. I hope this therapeutic exercise has encouraged you. You”re not alone. Whether you”re encountering your first roadblock in ministry, or you”ve had so many detours you”re not even sure how to get back on the main drive, I hope you will not give up, give in, or get out.

We are soldiers of the faith, athletes in the race, and farmers in the field. The battles, races, and harvests never ask permission to get started. They just go. And so must we.

Be faithful to the end. Fight the good fight. Never give up! And you will receive “the crown of righteousness which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day””and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing” (2 Timothy 4:8).

Rick Grover is lead pastor at Owensboro (Kentucky) Christian Church. He was the lead church planter with Journey Christian Church in New Orleans, Louisiana, where he served for seven years. He now partners through Owensboro Christian Church in planting three other churches in the New Orleans area. Rick is a graduate of Manhattan (Kansas) Christian College, Lincoln (Illinois) Christian Seminary, and Emmanuel School of Religion, Johnson City, Tennessee. He and his wife, Laura, have three children and love biking, snowballs, going to the park, and hanging out with friends.