Does Your Group Have the GUTS for Community?

Did you see any of the Tour de France in July? One of the most remarkable elements in the race is the peloton, when cyclists ride in tight packs to save energy by drafting. In a well-formed peloton, there is up to a 40 percent reduction in drag. But there are many more advantages of the peloton, including the encouragement from other riders and the teamwork involved.

I enjoy cycling in a group: riding together, taking turns at the front, talking about life as we roll along, and helping one another when bikes or bodies break down. There is a sense of community on these rides.

Authentic community is the fifth of seven indicators of a healthy small group that I discuss in my book Small Group Vital Signs. Your group cannot be healthy and growing if you are not living in authentic, biblical community. Yet I”m concerned that we”ve watered down what true community””the kind instructed and illustrated in Scripture””really is.

The TV show Community depicts a study group of misfit students at Greendale Community College who form unlikely bonds and actually begin to care about one another. Part of the appeal of the show is that this “community” ends up helping each of the participants to learn more about themselves and to grow.

It”s the same formula used over the years in shows like Gilligan”s Island, Cheers, Friends, and many others. We all want that place where everyone knows our name and they”re always glad we came. That sounds so good and it”s what so many people want in life . . . but God”s Word has so much more in store for us in community!

Biblical community””the kind Jesus and the apostles lived in and that the early church experienced””takes a lot of guts! It”s beneficial to us, but, like taking your turn at the front of the peloton, it also demands something of us. We give to community; we”re not just consumers of it!

I”ll use the word GUTS as an acronym to describe the kind of community the Bible describes and demands of us. See how you can develop this kind of community in your group.

Genuine

Healthy community is genuine. Real discipleship can happen only in an environment of authenticity. If we cannot be real and admit our faults and frailties to one another, we cannot grow beyond where we are. How do you make your group more genuine? Over the years I”ve discovered the following principles.

Develop bonds of trust. Discuss the vitality of confidentiality. Group members must be able to trust others in the group for authenticity to take hold.

Share your stories. Try this exercise: Ask everyone to draw and then share a timeline of their life, zeroing in on the highs and lows and most significant events. Explore ways for people to talk about what made them who they are today.

Receive and affirm. When people open up about themselves, be sure to let them know they”ve been heard. Affirm and encourage them for their boldness and vulnerability.

Confess your sins to one another. Once you have built an environment of trust and affirmation, people will more naturally take off their masks and confess their sins to one another.

Pray for one another. As your group learns a new way of living that involves trust, self-disclosure, affirmation, and confession, prayer becomes richer and more powerful.

Speak the truth in love. Learn how to care enough to confront sinful behavior in an environment of unconditional love and with God”s grace. If you can”t speak the truth in love (and with the person”s best interest at heart) then you”re not ready to speak. Keep praying.

Have fun together! Healthy, genuine community should be exciting and fun! Laughing together builds friendships and can even build trust and set the stage for deeper discussions.

“Love each other with genuine affection” (Romans 12:10*). How genuine is the community in your group?

Unconditional 

Healthy community is unconditional. Here”s our clear command for living in community: “Accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory” (Romans 15:7). If we accept one another in our small groups the way Christ has accepted us, we will accept them despite their sins, flawed personalities, annoying behaviors, and questionable hygiene!

Small groups are “grace places.” We accept people where they are right now. But we hope and pray and encourage and love and study and admonish so that they will grow beyond where they are.

Tangible

Healthy community is tangible. In authentic community we care for one another in deeds, not just words.

Years ago I was in a small group in which a young woman was separated from her husband. The group rallied around, and when she needed a vehicle, my wife and I decided to let her use our second car, since Heidi did not work at the time. A few weeks later, our situation changed and Heidi needed transportation, so another couple in our group lent us one of their cars, deciding they could walk if necessary. My neighbor stopped me one day and asked about the shuffling around of cars in our driveway. When I explained, he was blown away by how we took care of one another.

In Romans 12 the apostle Paul provides very practical instructions for healthy, tangible community life. Study it as a group sometime and apply the instructions to how you live together in community. “Don”t just pretend to love others. Really love them” (Romans 12:9).

Sacrificial

Healthy community is sacrificial. Jesus said, “There is no greater love than to lay down one”s life for one”s friends” (John 15:13). Real Christian community is sacrificial!

We must relearn how to live in healthy, sacrificial community, as God created us to live. A good start may be to understand one simple biblical truth: “we belong to each other,” not to our jobs, possessions, favorite TV shows, social media, kids” activities, or, well, you fill in the blank.

Jesus commanded his followers to “love each other in the same way that I have loved you” (John 15:12). Jesus bled for community. How sacrificial is the community in your small group?

If you really want to see lives change, get out of your comfortable, cozy,
consumer-driven, closed clique, and have the GUTS to enter into God”s ideal for authentic community life!

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*Scripture quotations are from the New Living Translation.

Michael C. Mack is the author of 12 small group books and studies, including I”m a Leader . . . Now What? available from Standard Publishing. Follow his blog at www.smallgroupleadership.blogspot.com.