By Michael C. Mack
QUESTION: What is the purpose of small groups? Are they to evangelize or edify? Is the emphasis on fellowship (helping people in the church get to know one another better), assimilation (getting new people connected into the body so they don”t leave the church), ministry (serving others outside the group), or multiplication (growing the church by growing the number of groups)? Can small groups meet at the church building on Sunday morning (like Sunday school), or must they meet at a different time in a different place?
ANSWER: These are all great questions, but I think the answer to the first question will help us answer the rest of them. I believe the purpose of small groups is to make disciples, meaning both reaching out to nondisciples and growing people into committed followers of Jesus. I”ve found that truly healthy groups””like healthy churches””are the body of Christ in action. They holistically fulfill the multifaceted mission of the church.
Some groups will focus on one or more values rather than others.
Healthy groups involve all four of the functions in the accompanying chart, but every group will emphasize one or more of these above others, and most groups will change their focus over time or during different seasons. I”ve never seen a group look like the one depicted!
Some groups are currently focused on community, especially new groups in which members are just getting to know one another and sharing their stories. Other groups focus on growing together spiritually through the application of Scripture and other group disciplines. But they also engage in worship, encouraging each other, caring for each other, and ministering to others, all with a goal of developing leaders for new groups. Some groups, such as serving teams, focus on ministry, but they still engage in the other functions of a healthy group. The same can be said about leadership-development groups.
Note that being centered in Christ (worship) is the most vital dimension of a healthy group; it is not a separate function, rather, it overlays all other functions. Also, discipleship is not merely equivalent to “growth,” it involves each of the other functions as well.
If you are a group leader, consider how you will incorporate all of these functions into your group. Decide as a group what your emphasis is at this point in your group life, but also discuss how to stay healthy in your balance.
If you oversee the groups in your church””whether they meet during the week or on Sunday mornings, in classrooms at the church building or in homes or restaurants””the beauty of small groups is that a variety of types of groups (serving teams, support groups, growth groups, and others) can help accomplish Christ”s mission and the church”s vision as various parts of the body of Christ.
QUESTION: How much oversight do the elders need to exercise over small groups (i.e., teaching materials, leaders, and so forth)? I”m concerned that without the right leadership you end up with far too much “I think” or “what this means to me” and not enough solid truth. Opinions do help move discussions along, but there needs to be solid guidance.
ANSWER: I think one of the main issues here revolves around leadership development. If you equip leaders well (Ephesians 4:12), you must trust them to lead. You have a basic choice as you oversee your leaders: high control/low trust or low control/high trust. I believe the New Testament demonstrates a system that involves equipping, appropriate oversight, encouragement, support, accountability, empowerment, and trust to lead.
I believe that leadership has the responsibility to know in general what is going on in groups: “Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds” (Proverbs 27:23; also see 1 Peter 5:2). But that does not mean figuratively looking over leaders” shoulders, telling them what to study and how to lead at every turn. Your responsibility is to be sure they are being equipped and coached, but “not lording it over those entrusted to you” (1 Peter 5:3).
For instance, I”ve often given group leaders a broad list of approved studies, but I”ve trusted them to decide what their groups need. They, after all, are the group shepherds. Small group coaches are critical for group health as they help provide not only some accountability, but also support, encouragement, and ongoing leader development.
In a discussion forum of Independent Christian church ministers on Facebook, Charles Edward Brainard said, “In general, the body of Christ should be high trust/low human control. I say this because the goal of any organization within the church should be the ongoing process of discipleship and spiritual maturity. If the flock is not maturing, no amount of human control will create a harmonious and edificial environment.”
I agree. As church leaders, our primary trust is in God. We must train leaders to understand that Christ is the real leader, the chief shepherd of the group. We coach them constantly to lead from the second chair, with dependence on Christ. Then we entrust the leader and the group ultimately to God.
Michael Mack is the author of a dozen small group books and discussion guides including I”m a Leader . . . Now What? How to Guide an Effective Small Group (Standard Publishing) and his latest book, Small Group Vital Signs: Seven Indicators of Health that Make Groups Flourish (Touch Publications). E-mail your questions to [email protected].
8 Small Group Leader Listening Skills
1. Be quiet. This should be obvious, but it is often the biggest obstruction to listening. The leader should be part of a discussion without monopolizing it.
2. Try to understand. The goal of listening is to understand what the person is really saying.
3. Empathize. Interject short statements to show you understand and accept what the person is saying. “That sounds exciting!” or “That must have been a hard decision to make” are examples of how to show empathy.
4. Don”t judge. A judgmental attitude can do more harm than good, especially when someone is already hurting. Don”t condone sin, of course, but recognize the difference between acceptance and approval.
5. Avoid advising. Unless they ask for it, people usually do not want or need you to try to solve their problems. They just need someone to listen.
6. Verify and clarify. If you don”t understand what someone is saying, ask. “Here”s what I hear you saying. Am I right?” is one clarifier.
7. Listen for what is not said. Try to hear the meaning behind the words. Watch body language and listen to the tone of voice. Sometimes what a person is saying is lost behind a clutter of words.
8. Affirm. “Thanks for sharing that. I”m sure it isn”t easy to talk about right now.” This builds acceptance for talking about difficult things and makes it easier for someone else to share.
“”M.M.
“Note that being centered in Christ (worship) is the most vital dimension of a healthy group; it is not a separate function, rather, it overlays all other functions.”
Profound statement Mike!
When it comes to the bulk of the Small Group Leadership training, I believe it should be shouldered by Pastoral Staff. Hopefully, a potential leader’s experience in the church’s small group ministry will be a frame of reference for the training they receive but I think it’s too much to ask a lay person to oversee all of the leadership training once a church exceeds 10-15 groups.
Thanks for the article Mike!