‘At the Movies’ Opens to Mixed Reviews

By Caleb Kaltenbach

BURLINGTON, OK—Chad Beachwix’s decision to show Black Panther last Sunday morning isn’t sitting well with leadership at Sixth Christian Church.

“The movie has a powerful message and I thought it would really challenge our church,” Beachwix said. “I interjected the sermon at certain points during the movie.”

Longtime elder Bob Norbit disagreed.

“No, he did not interject himself,” Norbit said. “Every 30 minutes he paused the movie, talked for a minute, pushed play, and ate popcorn in the first row.” Moving forward, Norbit said, eldership will prescreen all of Beachwix’s selections for his “At the Movies” sermon series.

Not everyone in the church was so critical.

“I’m not sure what the movie had to do with Jesus, but man, that was a good movie!” said church secretary Cletus Philburn. Then, excitedly, he asked, “Where can I get my hands on some of that vibranium? I could use that in my business!”

Many church members seemed pleased with the Black Panther Sunday take-home items. All 300 people in attendance received a movie button to wear, popcorn, and black gloves with razor-sharp claws. “The gloves will come in handy when I need to get my husband’s attention,” said church member Sheila Witherington.

Beachwix thinks it was a good first step in the series.

“I’d for sure show the movie again,” he said “Maybe I wouldn’t show the whole movie—only clips. And maybe I’d preach longer than three minutes.”

Charter church member Rita Clearwater was asked her thoughts on Black Panther Sunday.

“Wakanda forever,” she screeched.

 

Caleb Kaltenbach is just kidding.