— AN ONLINE-ONLY METRICS COLUMN —
By Kent E. Fillinger
Almost half of Americans (49 percent) say they have three or fewer close friends, according to the May 2021 American Perspectives Survey by the Survey Center on American Life. That’s a larger percentage of Americans with a small number of close friends than three decades ago—in 1990 it was 27 percent.
By contrast, one-third of Americans (33 percent) reported having 10 or more close friends in 1990; today that figure is only 13 percent.
And the number of people who reported having no close friends has increased fourfold, going from 3 percent in 1990 to 12 percent today.
People who were surveyed recently said the COVID-19 pandemic made forming and maintaining friendships even worse.
Nearly half (47 percent) of Americans report having lost touch with at least a few friends over the past 12 months, and nearly 1 in 10 (9 percent) say they lost touch with most of their friends.
Do you have a best friend? That sort of special relationship also has declined.
In 1990, 75 percent of Americans said they considered one person to be their best friend. Today that figure is down to 59 percent.
SEARCHING FOR FRIENDS
Almost half of Americans say they are only “somewhat satisfied” with their number of friends (30 percent) or are “not too satisfied” or “not at all satisfied” (17 percent) with the number of friends they have.
People are searching for friends, but they’re resorting to new means to find some.
A recent survey found that 35 percent of Generation Z (people ages 16 to 24) have used dating apps in the past year to make platonic friends, the Wall Street Journal reported. More than 1 in 4 (nearly 27 percent) said they did so because they were lonely in lockdown.
In 2016, the dating app Bumble launched a version called Bumble BFF to help people find friends. During the first three months of 2021, the average time spent on Bumble BFF grew 44 percent for women and 83 percent for men.
DO YOU HAVE A FRIENDSHIP-FORMING CHURCH?
People often refer to their church as being friendly. But would you say your church helps people to foster close friendships?
King David listed Jonathan and Hushai the Arkite as friends. Daniel was friends with Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. Job, for better or worse, had Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar as friends. The apostle Paul listed Epenetus, Ampliatus, Stachys, and Persis (among others) on his friends list. And the Bible noted several times that Jesus was a friend of tax collectors and sinners.
People are ready to meet new people and revive their social lives now that most places have reopened. Many want to find a group of like-minded people to spend time with. Most people need to feel like they belong before they believe.
Take advantage of the large number of people looking for friends and leverage your small-group Bible study kickoff this fall to form new groups and help people foster more friendships. Maybe you can use your church’s app and create a “Friend Finder” to help people find new friends with common interests. Or consider promoting “affinity-based” or “life stage-based” small groups to create another on-ramp for people in your church and your surrounding community to forge new friendships and to connect to Christ and your church.
Kent E. Fillinger serves as president of 3:STRANDS Consulting, Indianapolis, Indiana, and regional vice president (Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan) with Christian Financial Resources.
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