By Lena Gan
When the early church devoted themselves to prayer (Acts 2:42), they couldn’t have imagined smartphones. Today’s technology, however, offers innovative ways to restore New Testament prayer patterns in Christian marriages. “Most couples in our church don’t know where to start when it comes to praying together,” observes Melody Box of Pray Always ministry in North Richland Hills, Texas. Her decades of marriage ministry reveal a paradox: couples stay connected through technology all day but struggle to connect spiritually at home.
This challenge reaches across denominational lines. At a recent marriage conference workshop in Dallas, hands shot up across the room —representing various Christian churches and traditions—when asked who finds couple prayer challenging. As churches seek to fulfill the biblical command to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18), could technology unite rather than divide our spiritual lives?
The Prayer Pattern Crisis
The statistics are sobering: FamilyLife reports that fewer than two percent of Christian couples pray together outside mealtime. Yet the early church’s example shows that corporate prayer—including prayer between husbands and wives—was foundational to spiritual growth. Research from the Journal of Marriage and Family confirms this ancient wisdom: couples who pray together experience deeper relationship satisfaction and better conflict resolution. Another study reports that the divorce rate among couples who pray together regularly drops to as low as one in 1,500. These findings highlight a significant gap between the biblical call to prayer and the reality in many homes.
Technology as a Tool for Spiritual Growth
Just as the early church used available resources to strengthen prayer life, today’s churches can leverage technology wisely. Professor John Dyer of Dallas Theological Seminary and co-editor of Ecclesiology for a Digital Church offers an insightful perspective: “Many phone apps are designed to keep us glued to the screen as long as possible, but I appreciate how prayer apps are designed more like workout tools that remind us and encourage us to do something we value outside the phone.” This distinction matters. Former pastor and Hebrew lecturer Matthew Delaney shares how his congregation sponsors the Dwell App for all members: “Our families follow Bible plans and prayers together, creating a unified prayer culture across generations.” Various prayer apps help couples develop consistent prayer routines. The Pray Always app, for example, offers structured prayers, daily reminders, and journaling opportunities, encouraging manageable commitments like five minutes of daily prayer.
Stories like those of Janet and Bill from Grapevine, Texas, testify to the technology’s role in nurturing prayer. On the brink of separation, they committed to five minutes of prayer together and saw improvements in their marriage over time. “Starting small with structured guidance helped us rebuild our prayer life,” Janet shares. Tools that foster consistency and vulnerability are essential elements for spiritual growth within marriage.
Practical Steps for Church Leaders
1. Identify Needs: Use surveys or informal conversations to evaluate specific barriers to prayer, like time constraints, lack of knowledge, or discomfort with the practice among your congregation’s married couples.
2. Select Tools Wisely: Choose prayer tools that work across denominational lines and are aligned with biblical values. In essentials, unity; in opinions, liberty; in all things, love.
3. Provide Training: Offer workshops on using these tools and include testimonies from congregants who have benefited from prayer apps.
4. Encourage Accountability: Create small groups for couples to encourage each other in prayer, or establishing dedicated “Prayer Rooms” for quiet sanctuary. Melody Box’s ministry created “Prayer Dream Teams” to guide families in regular prayer.
Conclusion
In a world where technology connects us globally yet often distracts us spiritually, churches can harness technology as a means of supporting marital and spiritual growth. Setting aside five minutes daily can transform spiritual connection in marriages, families, and beyond. Embracing digital prayer tools means prioritizing consistency, intentionality, and a collective commitment to spiritual growth. Through prayer, as in marriage, God’s grace meets us in both the sacred and the everyday. Technology, when thoughtfully chosen and biblically grounded, can foster a culture of prayer that ultimately strengthens marriages and families, thus contributing to the mission of the Church.
Lena Gan, PhD, is pursuing her Master’s in Biblical and Theological Studies at Dallas Theological Seminary. Her area of research includes exploring the intersection of technology and technology in spiritual practices to enhance personal and communal faith journeys.
As with everything else, we must use technology to glorify God. This generation seems to be more dependent on it than my generation would have thought possible. However, we must also remember that we are spiritual beings living temporarily in these earthly bodies and need to communicate with each other and our God soul to soul.
Harnessing technology for spiritual growth and transformation is something Christians have been doing. We use technology to access the Bible and Bible plans and podcasts and a multitude of other tools designed to keep us in the WORD. As church leadership recognizes and adapts these tools, encouraging couples to invest in prayer time together using an app following guidelines mentioned in this article might just strengthen marriages and families.
What a wonderful summary on the need to incorporate today’s technology into daily spiritual growth. The new generation relies on tech more and more, so it’s important to evolve with the new available tools
What a sobering reminder for marriages that a way to foster and sustain the oneness they’ve become is through a humble posture in prayer. Additionally, I appreciate how Lena encourages marriages to use our ever-changing technology for each other’s good. In this way, this article pursues the peace of God through the image and likeness of God.
I love this thought, and it is helpful to know that technology can be used for good and churches can incorporate places/spaces where people already are and point them back to God, prayer, and community. I have been doing online ministry for over a decade and have seen community, growth, and prayer among those in the group. It should be something transferrable to our homes, our communities, and our churches as well. Let’s use what is out there and redeem it for good and growth at the same time.