Unexpected Friendships
Invest in relationships outside your comfort zone. Get involved and stay involved in your local church. And don’t be surprised if you find new friends in unexpected places.
By Jerry Harris
“We will gladly give up the things we love to reach a future generation we love even more.”
The church has a daunting task in its effort to minister to anyone who walks through the doors. The concept of targeting any particular age group or need at the expense of another isn’t very palatable for most. No one wants anyone to be left out or marginalized. We rest in Paul’s words from 1 Corinthians 9, “becoming all things to all people,” but however thoughtful and compassionate, that Scripture is often misapplied. It’s really about outward focus as seen at the end of each phrase. Paul becomes all things to win as many as possible. When a church looks at this approach, it quickly hits the dilemma of how to effectively minister to the needs of its people across the board. And the truth is, it’s going to do some things better than others.
Church boardrooms are filled with arguments about who to be relevant to, ranging from how the money is spent, the type of music being played, and the style of the sermon, to the clothes the preacher wears. If our goal is to please the people who are already there, choices are going to be made in all of these areas defining a target. This is the basis of most of the business of the inwardly focused church.
Most people in their 60’s and 70’s have been brought up in a completely different approach than what we see in most attractional churches. As a matter of fact, every generation finds a different style or approach comfortable. Haydn Shaw, in his book Generational I.Q., outlines the five generations living today. It’s a great book because it’s not a hit piece against the generations we might not like or be a part of, but it simply describes each generation’s unique approach to life and church. It’s a breath of fresh air, helping us to tighten our focus . . . especially downward.
Outward churches have taken the focus off what people on the inside want, focusing instead on the needs of the 80 percent on the outside. There is an equally important dimension to downward focus. I call this philosophy of downward focus “the dot.” To get an in depth understanding of the dot, read the article in the February 2018 issue of Christian Standard (https://christianstandard.com/2018/02/the-dot/ ).
How do we get the dot to stop moving? You can’t stop time . . . but you can stop the dot. The way to do it is by focusing downward. When outward and downward focuses are coupled together, the church has set itself up for immortality. If the dot isn’t moving, even though there are people in the church getting older, the church isn’t getting older. Coupled with an outward focus, there is a steady stream of the 80 percent coming into a relationship with Christ being attracted by the relevance defined by the dot.
I can’t overemphasize just how important it is to communicate this philosophy to the leaders and congregation. It goes beyond what we’re doing to answer the question of why. When we know why, it gives substance to our purpose. We’re making a difference that’s going to outlive us. When we look hard at it, we know better than to be self- centered. Now we’re no longer seeing a church an inch deep and a mile wide.
Focusing outward and downward are two key factors in what makes the church attractional. Its countercultural dynamic makes it magnetic. Some will find the changes uncomfortable and will want to look to what is more comfortable for them. That’s okay! You will always lose people with change, but you will also exponentially gain. As Sam Chand said, “There is no growth without change, no change without loss, and no loss without pain.”
Losing people is rarely a positive experience, but losing them for this strategy is a worthy trade. Losing the saved to win the lost isn’t a bad deal because whether they attend your church or not, the saved are still saved. Those in opposition to this kind of aggressive strategy will find plenty of other comfortable places to worship and it’s important that you communicate that there are plenty of other churches in the community where one can worship, but that we feel called to this “bigger yes” of the 80 percent. Sometimes the worst thing that can happen is for frustrated people to stay.
Invest in relationships outside your comfort zone. Get involved and stay involved in your local church. And don’t be surprised if you find new friends in unexpected places.
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