Why the Christian Sex Ethic Offers a Higher Bar
This article reflects on Louise Perry’s critique of the sexual revolution and connects her arguments to historic Christian teaching on sexuality, virtue, and formation. It argues that a consent-only sexual ethic is a low bar and that Christianity offers a higher, more humane vision of sex as a sacred gift.
- Louise Perry argues that the sexual revolution has often harmed women rather than liberated them.
- The article contrasts low-bar morality with Christian formation rooted in virtue, restriction, and love.
- Christian sexual ethics are presented as demanding but ultimately better for human flourishing.
By Tyler McKenzie
Louise Perry is a British journalist and author whose expertise is in sexual culture. Last year, I read her bestselling book, The Case Against the Sexual Revolution. At its writing, Perry was not a Christian. She was a modern secular progressive feminist. That said … her book was electric! I found myself head-nodding constantly, unable to put it down. Perry was putting into words many of my orthodox Christian convictions about sexuality without appealing to biblical authority or Christian theology.
In a secular world where the authority of religion is no longer given a special place, arguments like hers that appeal to sociological observation and common sense have power. Her claim in the book is that the sexual revolution of the last seventy years promised freedom (especially for women), and it failed. She excoriates our culture of sexual liberation, arguing that it primarily serves male interests.
How the Sexual Revolution Serves Male Interests
Men Desire It More. Perry points out that, according to the data, men have a higher desire for casual “no strings attached” sex. Women are more likely to seek emotional intimacy and long-term security. Women want to be loved and appreciated as more than just a sexual partner.
Men Enjoy It More. Studies consistently show that in hookups, men experience orgasms more often than women do. In committed relationships, the pleasure gap narrows.
Men Risk Far Less. Women bear most of the physical consequences of casual sex. The risk of pregnancy is biologically lopsided. Additionally, there is a rise in single-parent homes with absent fathers.
Privileged Men Thrive Most. Men who are more attractive and socially powerful are able to exploit the system with greater ease and get the majority of the hookups, while others experience rejection and loneliness.
If you’re interested, buy the book! There’s much more. Perry goes on to argue that treating sexual desire like nothing more than a harmless appetite and requiring nothing more than consent is irresponsible. We need a higher respect for the power of sex, stronger restrictions on its permissibility, and a more sober recognition of gender differences. Perry asks our culture seventy years into the sexual liberation project, “Are we really making progress here?” If progress is measured by freedom, then yes, we are more free. But if progress is measured by flourishing, then no. At the end of the day, she convincingly reasons that our sexually liberated culture has left women worse off. What was supposed to free all of us is actually hurting most of us.
Christianity Rejects Low-Bar Formation
She sounds very Christian to me. For 2,000 years, Christian theologians have argued against this sort of low-bar formation. From Augustine to Aquinas to Wesley to Bonhoeffer to Lewis … the logic has consistently been that Christian virtue is built through repeated rhythms and restrictions. We become what we love. Low-cost discipleship cheapens the costly grace of God and produces shallow humans. The Sexual Revolution suggests that if we regulate to the lowest possible standard of safety and health, that will be what is best. Christianity rejects that moral logic in the arena of sexuality and basically all others.
When modern people attack the Christian sex ethic, I point out that we all put boundaries on sex. The real question is, “Where do you draw your boundary lines?” Even though proponents of sexual liberation draw less boundaries than Christians, they still draw boundaries. They draw at least two: (1) There’s an age boundary built into our legal system, and, of course, (2) there’s the boundary of mutual consent.
So, the debate isn’t whether boundaries are necessary; the debate is over why their low-bar boundaries are best? What moral authority or statistical evidence can they appeal to in order to prove that consent-alone is the most moral and beneficial? I believe Perry is right. The sexual revolution has no moral authority to stand on and very little societal benefit to bolster its position. The Christian sex ethic argues for more restrictions, and more respect. It’s a higher bar and, thus, a higher view of sex. We see sex as a sacred gift that must be enjoyed on the Designer’s terms.
The Better Question Youth Pastors Can Ask
Youth pastors have a lot of experience with people who want to practice low-bar morality. They get questions from students all the time like, “How far is too far?” “Can we kiss?” “Can we make out?” “Can we go further?” “Can I dance with my hands in her back pockets?” “What about this?” “What about that?” My answer is always the same. “If you are asking ‘What can I get away with?’, then you are asking the wrong question.”
If that’s how you approach your health and fitness, “What can I get away with?”, you won’t get great results.
If that’s how you approach your job, “What’s the least I can do without getting fired?”, you’ll eventually get fired.
If that’s how you parent your kids, “Do whatever you can get with!”, they’re not going to be good people.
Low-bar formation teaches us to do as little harm as possible rather than as much good as possible. The better question is “How do I honor God and love others?” That answer will never result in a low bar. This is how Christianity approaches sex. It offers a higher bar. That bar is demanding. It is difficult. It requires self-control and self-sacrifice. But in the end, it is better for society.
Louise Perry and the Goodness of Christian Ethics
I was thrilled to see that Louise Perry decided to become a Christian last September. She shared that, as she observed the truth in the Christian sex ethic and its goodness for men, women, and children alike, it led her to explore the rest of what Christianity had to say. She eventually found that the way of Jesus made too much emotional and intellectual sense to ignore any longer.
Author: Tyler McKenzie
Tyler McKenzie serves as lead pastor at Northeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky. He also produces a fun Bible podcast for parents and their kids called “the Preacher and the Piano man.”
