By David Faust
Mother Teresa said, “People are unrealistic, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway.”
“In the past,” a friend pointed out recently, “when people were outside enjoying nature, they photographed the scenery and took pictures of beaches, mountains, and forests. Now, we turn the camera the other direction and take pictures of ourselves.”
Industry experts estimate that today’s average smartphone user takes more than 450 self-portrait photographs (selfies) per year—more than one per day. According to the Guinness World Records website, an actor from India, Akshay Kumar, set a record by taking 184 selfies in three minutes. Kumar is faster than most, but we’re all tempted to put ourselves in the center of the picture.
Unhealthy Selfitis
Tragically, hundreds of selfie-related deaths have occurred over the last decade, mostly because individuals fell from heights or drowned while attempting to photograph themselves in precarious positions. Evidence suggests that selfies have a negative effect on emotional health.
A 2018 study in Psychology Today identified three categories of a disorder the researchers dubbed “selfitis” (the compulsive urge to take selfies). In borderline cases, phone users take selfies up to three times per day, but do not post them on social media. In acute cases, phone users take selfies at least three times a day and post them on social media. Phone users with chronic selfitis feel a steady urge to take selfies and post them on social media at least six times a day.
The Bible presents a realistic and healthy view of the human self. God created us in his image, provided moral boundaries to guide our interpersonal relationships, and gave us the capacity to love him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. We are fallen sinners, but we aren’t nothing. We become our best selves when our minds, bodies, and emotions glorify the creator who designed us.
The biblical instruction to love your neighbor “as yourself” obviously means to love others as much as you love yourself and “do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12). Loving your neighbor “as yourself” also suggests the need to “be yourself” and put your whole “self” into the effort. You can’t love God and love your neighbor as someone else; you must love them as yourself, using your own unique God-given personality and gifts to promote the well-being of others.
What the New Testament calls agape (the Greek word for unselfish, committed, covenant-keeping love) requires self-sacrifice. Author/preacher Tony Evans explains, “The biblical concept of agape love involves giving of yourself for the benefit of another, even at your own expense. Biblical love is defined by passionately and righteously seeking the well-being of another. [It] is an act of the will and not just a fuzzy feeling in the stomach.”
Unselfish Love
Excessive preoccupation with self poisons hearts and ruins relationships. The list of sins that characterize “terrible times in the last days” begins by saying, “people will be lovers of themselves” (2 Timothy 3:2). By contrast, the Bible’s “Love Chapter” pointedly reminds us that agape “is not self-seeking” (1 Corinthians 13:5).
Agape requires a lot of “unselfies.” Even when people are illogical and self-centered, we should love them anyway. Our marriages, families, churches, workplaces, and neighborhoods will improve if we turn the camera around and focus on the Lord and others instead of focusing on ourselves.
Personal Challenge: Write a prayer of confession to God listing specific marks of selfishness in your own heart and actions. Ask the Lord to fill you with agape love and teach you to be less “self-seeking.”
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David Faust’s new book, Not Too Old: Making Your Later Years into Greater Years, was released April 10. It is available from College Press and Amazon.
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