By Kent E. Fillinger
Would you rather give a gift or receive one? During the Christmas season, gift giving is anticipated and even expected, but it can present a challenge. We often ask ourselves, “What do you give someone who already has everything?”
While it is not recorded for us in the gospels, the apostle Paul said, “You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’” (Acts 20:35, New Living Translation). The act of giving elicits positive feelings and emotions for both the giver and the receiver, making it one of the most important exchanges you can have with someone.
Created to Give
God created us in his image; therefore, we are designed to be generous givers. We are healthier and happier when we give. I love it when secular social science research affirms what we already know from reading the Bible.
Numerous secular research studies have shown that no matter where they live and regardless of their income, age, culture, or even political persuasion, generous people are generally healthier and happier.
According to research by the Greater Good Science Center of UC Berkley, intentional generosity motivated by compassion is strongly associated with better overall health and delayed mortality. Not only that, but people who give of their time have greater self-esteem and vitality.
Studies show that generous givers of time and money suffer less from stress and depression, have better overall heart health and better immune systems, and even live longer. Generosity is also linked to improved psychological health, well-being, cooperation, social connection, and improved physical health, including reductions in blood pressure and lower inflammation levels in the blood.
Research shows that spending as little as five dollars on a recipient can make the giver happier. The joy of giving and receiving is not equated with how much the gift costs.
The opposite is also true. Secular research in the last 30 years confirms what the Bible has always taught. Materialism, which is the practical opposite of generosity, is associated with lower levels of personal well-being, poor health, and even damage to the well-being of others and to the environment.
Psychologist Liz Dunn of the University of British Columbia led a study in which participants were handed a small sum of money and told that they could either keep the money or give it to someone else.
Unsurprisingly, they found that the more money people gave away, the happier they felt. Conversely, the more money people kept for themselves, the more they experienced shame and heightened levels of cortisol. Cortisol is a link between stress and disease, causing wear and tear on the body. Cortisol may be just the first hint of a kind of missing link between generosity and health.
Endless connections exist between our overall well-being and our generosity. It is not a fluke that we feel better when we give. It is the way God designed us, and it reflects how we are made in his image. God wired us for generosity. How cool is that?
Are We Kinder at Christmas?
I’ve always wondered why people seem to be kinder and more cheerful during the Christmas season. Based on the following research, it’s easy to conclude that it’s because we are actively giving gifts to those we know and care about.
Economist James Andreoni first introduced the “warm glow of giving” theory, which suggests that when we give something to others, it leaves us with a warm fuzzy feeling that persists over time and creates a glow of kindness about us.
We can create this warm glow not just by giving gifts, but by engaging in other acts of kindness, like complimenting others and telling people how much they mean to us. This process can also extend beyond the giver and recipient; when we do something nice for another person, that person may be more apt to pay it forward.
A growing body of research suggests that when we feel close to someone and care deeply for them, we consider that person a part of ourselves, which enhances our willingness to act kindly toward them. And vice versa, when we do something nice for another person, we feel closer to that person as a result.
When we are kind to others, we are, in a way, being kind to ourselves. The psychological term “vicarious reward” suggests that when we witness something positive happening to another person, we vicariously feel that person’s pleasure. We can capitalize on this phenomenon and make ourselves happy by doing good deeds for others, including giving gifts.
Proverbs 19:6 says, “Everyone is the friend of a person who gives gifts.” Proverbs 18:16 reminds us, “Giving a gift works wonders.”
Givers Need Receivers
The act of giving cannot be complete without a receiver. Allowing yourself to be a gracious receiver is a humbling experience and an act of love because it provides others the opportunity to give. You may need to learn how to receive gifts graciously. Otherwise, you may deprive someone of the joy of giving.
A wise person doesn’t expect gifts but is always willing to accept them when given. Maya Angelou said, “When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”
James 1:17 says, “Whatever is good and perfect comes to us from God above.” Since God models generosity and giving for us, it is important that we receive the gifts he has in store for us. The word receive appears 260 times in the Bible.
Here is a brief list of things the Bible tells us to receive from God: mercy, grace, eternal life, the Holy Spirit, life-giving words, new life, the promises of God, the crown of life, salvation, and righteousness that comes by faith.
Giving to God
After the Israelites gave gifts to help build the temple, King David prayed, “I know, my God, that you examine our hearts and rejoice when you find integrity there. You know I have done all this with good motives, and I have watched your people offer their gifts willingly and joyously” (1 Chronicles 29:17).
We also know from the account of Cain and Abel in the book of Genesis that God examined their hearts and knew the motives behind their gifts. God declared that Abel’s gift was more acceptable than Cain’s. The book of Leviticus often notes that “special gifts” to God are a “pleasing aroma” to him.
Demonstrating generosity writes you into the story of God. Think about the time Jesus fed the 5,000 with a few loaves and fish—and how that miracle sprang from the generosity of a young boy who sacrificed his lunch that day. Or the widow who placed the only two coins she had into the temple treasury. Jesus declared that her generosity was greater than the wealthy people who gave from their excess.
The questions we need to ask: Are our gifts acceptable to God? Are we giving willingly and joyously? Would God speak well of our offerings?
The writer of Hebrews admonishes us to “not forget to do good and to share what you have with those in need, for such sacrifices are very pleasing to God” (Hebrews 13:16).
Here is a parting question for church leaders: If someone in your church died and left the church enough money to totally fund the church’s ministry budget for the next two years, would you still collect a weekly offering from your congregation?
If you hesitated or paused before responding with an enthusiastic yes, then please re-read this article! Giving is not about what God wants from us, but what he wants for us—an abundant life full of joy as we experience the power of giving and receiving gifts!
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