By Jeff Vines
A pastor’s life can be stressful. Some seasons, like baptism weekend, Easter, or opening a new campus, can feel like standing on the seashore, basking in the warmth of the sun. Other seasons feel like you’re getting crushed wave after wave. But we are ministers of Christ! We believe in providence and the sovereignty of God. Don’t we proclaim the Scripture that God works everything together for good? So why are we so stressed?
According to SoulShepherding.org, 75 percent of pastors report being “extremely stressed” or “highly stressed.” One hundred percent of 1,050 Reformed and Evangelical pastors had a colleague who had left ministry because of burnout, church conflict, or moral failure.
After 40 years of ministry and battling severe anxiety disorder, I discovered a treasure that is making my final years of ministry more enjoyable than any other season of life. Here’s the truth. The debilitating stress that causes so many casualties in ministry can be avoided. Moreover, the stress we feel has more to do with an internal brokenness than external circumstances.
The road on which I traveled to my current position is not typical. I did not “rise through the ranks” of youth ministry or associate ministry. I spent 20 years in Africa and New Zealand, starting churches and training leaders before arriving in Los Angeles as the lead pastor of ONE&ALL Church. After navigating challenges with staff, eldership, and property limitations, I began experiencing anxiety disorder. For over two-and-a-half years I woke up in the middle of the night, usually between 2:30-3:00 a.m., feeling a sense of impending doom. My heart raced. I struggled to catch my breath. My blood pressure surged to 210 over 105. After months of medical tests including echocardiograms, CT scans, and various treadmill marathons, the doctors informed me, “There is nothing wrong with you. In fact, you are far healthier than most men your age.” Those words forced serious introspection. I did not like what I found, but the truth set me free, and it’s been over 10 years since I’ve had an anxiety attack, despite being busier than I’ve ever been.
Be open and honest with yourself as you read the six types of fuel that turn daily challenges into debilitating stress.
Stress Fuel One: Entitlement
“Entitlement is the opposite of enchantment.” —Guy Kawasaki
Before the advent of social media and six figure salaries, an entire generation of young men and women went into ministry, not for money or fame, but because they felt a strong call to preach the gospel. Obscurity and a certain degree of poverty were part of the calling. Today too many of us are unhealthily attracted to a good salary with a large platform. We adore and respect those who live lives of recognition and plenty. The stress comes when we’re convinced that our talents and giftings are far above average and deserve greater recognition than we are receiving. When this occurs, ministries become steppingstones to greater achievement. Rather than loving and shepherding the flock, we end up using people as a means to our ends. Wrestling for what we think we deserve fuels frustration and leads to a sense of sorrow. Perhaps this is why 70 percent of pastors fight depression.
Stress Fuel Two: Insecurity
“Most bad behavior comes from insecurity.” –Debra Winger
There is nothing more stressful than trying to manage one’s popularity and likeability. I have heard pastors claim they hire three kinds of people: “A” players, “B” players who are becoming “A” players, and “C” you later players. Soon after, we discover these same pastors created toxic work environments where “A” players seldom remain because they felt the constant condescension and jealousy of the lead pastor. When a pastor is insecure, bad things happen. One, he refuses to equip and train others to do the work of ministry so as not to shift the focus off himself. Two, he takes on a ministry load that will eventually lead to his demise. His addiction to praise motivates him to do more than any human can possibly do. Yet, it’s only a matter of time until the stress he has placed upon himself manifests itself through a moral failure, emotional breakdown, or a debilitating coping mechanism like pornography, alcohol, or substance abuse. The constant fear of failure is a weight no one can bear.
Stress Fuel Three: Wrong Objective
“I am Yertle the turtle and I am king of all I see,
But I don’t see enough and that’s the problem with me.” –Dr. Seuss
Pastors stand on stages around the world warning parishioners of the dangers of finding one’s ultimate significance in worldly acceptance and praise. “Jesus is enough,” we proclaim with convincing passion. Yet, our own pursuits betray us. When pastors drive the best cars and wear expensive clothing while asking our congregations to sacrifice for the ongoing capital campaign, something is not right. Truth is, far too many of us are addicted to status and accolades. We are building our own kingdoms.
A few years ago, I received a call from a pastor complaining that we were starting a ministry to university students at a school that was closer to his church than mine. We made our intentions public only after discovering he had no desire to launch such a ministry. This caused such an uproar we decided, in the best interest of church unity, not to proceed. Far too many pastors are building their names and kingdoms, not the kingdom of God. Their self-esteem and self-worth are based on how others perceive them. Anything that might hamper the growth and numbers of their own church is seen as the enemy, no matter how good or profitable for the kingdom of Christ. The energy required to build and protect your own kingdom eventually takes its toll and you end up feeling alone.
Stress Fuel Four: No Sabbath
“If you don’t take a Sabbath. Something is wrong.” –Eugene Peterson
Pastors often think that saving the world means exemption from Sabbath keeping. In their minds, the fact they never hit the “off” switch proves superior devotion to Christ.
The reality is their 80-plus hour weeks have more to do with a repressed fear of anonymity than an extraordinary passion to grow the kingdom of God. Their greatest fear is mediocrity. They tell themselves that they are doing it all for Jesus, but they are doing it for themselves. Their sacrificial attitude may be compelling, but what they are losing is something far more precious. This lifestyle damages family relationships and creates a cycle of exhaustion and stress. There is no rest because selfish pursuits for self-aggrandizement never rest. You can drown your fears of anonymity in good works and acts of service, but it’s only a matter of time before the energy required to keep up the pursuit creates stress that overwhelms the heart and soul, forcing a retreat into the darkness.
Stress Fuel Five: No Soul Care
“Jesus is a healer, and He has come to heal us; body, soul, and spirit.” –Rob Reimer
You may think, “Why isn’t Jeff mentioning all the things that cause stress in the life of ministers, like, dysfunctional elders, performance driven worship leaders, staff infighting, moral failures, intolerable parishioners, worship wars, and youth ministers?” While each of these issues may be challenging, none should cause debilitating stress. Jesus, the best leader in human history, faced far worse and never seemed stressed until he felt separation from his Father. And there it is! We can only serve out of who we are, not who we wish we were. When we are separated from the Father, we will feel as though God has abandoned us. When we lose the Father, we lose everything associated with him: peace, wisdom, contentment, and joy. When we allow the tyranny of the urgent to break our posture of prayer and stifle our investment in soul care, we lose our spiritual equilibrium. The number one stress killer is intentional time with the Father. Our daily time with God, therefore, must become non-negotiable. We must recharge our spiritual batteries if we hope to engage the stresses of our day with spiritual insight and a sound mind. Debilitating stress comes when we attempt to shepherd the flock out of our own wisdom and strength.
The statistics shared by Bill Gaultiere at https://www.soulshepherding.org/pastors-under-stress/ show that only 16 percent of pastors are satisfied with their prayer life, and more than half of all pastors spend less than 15 minutes per day in prayer. No wonder we are stressed.
Stress Fuel Six: Duplicity
“And some that smile have in their hearts, I fear, millions of mischiefs.” –William Shakespeare
Ravi Zacharias was my mentor. We met in 1999 in Auckland New Zealand at an apologetics conference. Instantly, we became friends. I often traveled with Ravi and sought his advice on a myriad of subjects. Ravi’s public life was impeccable, at least on the surface. I never witnessed any kind of questionable behavior from Ravi. In fact, the opposite was true. He was cordial and kind to everyone. While he continued to live a life above reproach in public, he seemed stressed, beaten down, and exhausted in private. Our times together were some of the most inspiring and encouraging times of my life. I loved Ravi, but something was amiss. After Ravi was diagnosed with cancer, I chalked the difference in Ravi down to his cancer diagnosis. When his duplicitous lifestyle came to light, I discovered that Ravi was not merely broken by cancer but was fractured in his soul because of the duplicitous life he had been living. I, along with millions of others, was devastated. I wonder if a duplicitous lifestyle can bring about ailments like depression, anxiety, or even physical brokenness. Amid King David’s duplicity he wrote,
When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night
your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer (Psalm 32:3-4).
When a pastor lives in a way that contradicts his publicly proclaimed values, he may be able to hide it from the masses, but he will not be able to hide it from himself. This will cause an ongoing dis-ease in his spirit and the emotional stress will eventually overwhelm him, expressing itself in both physical and mental illness.
Moving Forward
As I look back over the course of my life and ministry, most of the failures are my own doing. Elders are imperfect. Staff will disappoint you. People will try to hurt, if not ruin you. In those seasons, ask yourself a few important questions. Am I in this for the right reasons? Whose kingdom am I really building? How strong is my devotional life? Am I practicing what I am preaching? Do I consider all ministry success a gift from God? What do I celebrate most in my life? Am I taking a sabbath rest, honoring God and my family with my time and attention? Failure in one or more of these areas ignites normal stress to unhealthy and unmanageable levels.
Each of us knows there are remnants of these stress fuelers in our lives. The real battle is in the mind and the will. We must get back to the truth that will sustain us. Our overwhelming stress can back us into a corner of humility, calling on Jesus to reshape and mold us into a leader whose peace passes all understanding. That can only happen when our motivations, objectives, private life, and soul care align with the purposes of God. For many, God may have to knock you down and rebuild you so that joy can become central and sorrow only peripheral. Let him do it! Indescribable peace resides on the other side.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).
Jeff Vines is lead pastor with ONE&ALL Church in San Dimas, California.
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