Church for introverts: How introverts describe their church experience
These quotes from real introverts were found on Internet forums and reflect common frustrations with loud environments, forced interaction, and narrow expectations for outreach. The voices below highlight how church culture can unintentionally discourage people who are not naturally gregarious.
- Forced โmeet and greetโ moments can feel stressful or dreaded.
- Loud services and pressure to share publicly can be draining and discouraging.
- Some introverts long for privacy and alternative ways to connect and serve.
These quotes from real introverts were found on Internet forums:
โI especially donโt like it when they say something like, โSay Jesus loves you to five people.โ Iโm not saying Jesus doesnโt love five people, but I would rather say it on my own time.โ
Danika from thinklings.org/b2commentspopup.php?p=1908&c=1
โNow turn around and greet someoneโ has been the most dreaded part of church service for me. That, and listening to our extrovert preacher imply that weโre not really walking the Christian walk unless we get out and meet strangers face-to-face, spreading the gospel. No other form of outreach is hailed as acceptable. There has been no mention of contacting others through the written word.
Anonymous from www.theintrovertzcoach.com/church_for_introverts.html#others
โWhy do you condemn me because I donโt act like you do in church? . . . The Bible doesnโt give a formula for praise. . . . You preach love but you condemn people instead of sin. You preach power but are unable to discern my love for God even if Iโm not an extrovert.โ
Eric from www.skippinchurch.com
โIโve avoided churches for a great deal of my life because of the fact that all of the churches I ever get invited to, or end up visiting, are so loud and somewhat violating that Iโm not encouraged to go again. I always felt kind of bad about itโโโIโd really like spirituality, and I think Iโd enjoy going to church if it wasnโt such a drain. I enjoy my anonymity, but whenever I went to a church, it was all about who you were, and what you were there for, and I felt like all they wanted was for me to put my soul on the table and wheel it around for all to see. There was no privacy. . . . I actually felt kind of dirty afterward. Lately, Iโve been thinking about trying to go again, but Iโm afraid of another bad experience. Eek!โ
Anonymous from www.theintrovertzcoach.com/church_for_introverts.html#others
โIf church is about being with people, how does it restore introverts?โ
Steve at smallritual.blogs.com/small_ritual/
โThere was just one problem with the church! At the end of the song services, the pastor would always tell the congregation, โTurn around and shake hands with someone, or if youโre a woman, give another woman a hug.โ . . . . There was this one woman that went all over the place giving these big bear hugs to everyone, man or woman. I got to where I would check out where she was sitting and make sure I was a long way away from her. But it didnโt seem to matter where I satโโshe still seemed to end up over where I was and give me one of those smothering hugs. The church was great except for all that hugging business.โ
Deb Matthews, True Christian Stories at www.debauthor.com
โThere are a lot of people who get that outsider feeling in their very own parishes every Sunday, simply because theyโre not naturally gregarious, simply because they arenโt effusive people by nature, simply becauseโโjust like their more outgoing fellow parishionersโโthey reflect their personalities in the practice of their faith.โ
Author: Christian Standard
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