By Dave Stone
My favorite name to describe the fellowship of Christian churches and churches of Christ is “brotherhood.” The term implies a closeness and that we are a family. There are so many great churches within it, and I”m fortunate to serve one of them””Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky. She gets more than her share of attention within our brotherhood. Maybe it”s her size, or perhaps it”s because of Bob Russell”s longevity and credibility.
In 2006 we went through a transition of leadership, from Bob to me. Never have I seen a senior minister do it with such grace. He truly wanted to pave the way for my leadership and my key initiatives.
Whenever I”m at a state or regional gathering of this brotherhood, people ask the same questions: How did the transition go? How are things going? Many will say that I am in their prayers, and that has meant so much to me.
God has been teaching me so much in my new role. It has been a roller coaster, filled with many highs as well as a few lows. I mentioned to the congregation in January 2006 that I was in over my head . . . and then I said, “I know that and you know that.”
Bob Russell”s plan was that beginning in January 2006 I would lead the staff and church with Bob next door in his office until June. This allowed me to make all the decisions and yet have him close by as a resource. Knowing he was there helped a lot, but I rarely consulted with him, which is really more of a tribute to the good job Bob did of giving me more responsibility in the last few years.
I”ve rarely sought Bob”s counsel since his retirement, although I know he”s always willing to help me, pray for specific needs, and share his thoughts when asked. The first few months after he left, it seemed every time I wanted to call and ask him something it always concerned some critical segment of the church, or false accusation, or staff situation that was messy.
But I never called him with those situations, because I feel he”s gone on to his reward. After 40 years it isn”t fair for him to continue to have to deal with that crud. And I didn”t want to subject him to the baggage that accompanies 300 staff members and thousands of church members.
So if you”ll indulge me, I”d like to share some lessons I”ve learned in the past year.
Bob Russell is a class act.
It was a special time when Bob preached his last sermon on June 24 and 25, 2006. More than 25,000 people showed up for an emotional weekend filled with memorable moments, standing ovations, and a lot of tears. It was draining for everyone, but especially for the Russells.
In that service, Bob used an analogy of runners in a relay race. At the end of his message he handed me a baton with the inscription, “Preach the Word.”
It was very powerful and emotional for our congregation. But I must add””and many of you in Christian leadership know this””sometimes with multiple services a degree of authenticity gets lost! After the first service there really isn”t much of an element of surprise. “Oh look””a baton””what a surprise. Déjà vu.”
After each service, while backstage, I would say, “Here”s your baton,” and give it back to Bob, and the next hour we”d do it again! But in the last worship service, as he handed me the baton, I realized I wouldn”t be giving it back to him after the service. While people stood and applauded Bob”s ministry, in the midst of that ovation I looked at Bob and I saw tears running down his face. I said to him, “This is it, isn”t it?”
And he said, “Yeah, this is really it.”
That afternoon when our family left church at about two o”clock, Bob”s car was still parked in his parking spot right beside mine. And I couldn”t resist. I jotted this note and placed it on his windshield:
To whom it may concern, please move your vehicle immediately as this is a reserved spot. Signed, the current holder of the Baton.
I think he got a kick out of it””at least that”s what his lawyer said.
But we”ve always been able to kid like that because of our closeness. Neither one of us has ever had to walk on eggshells because we”ve always had a great relationship. His laughter in meetings and around the office is something I greatly miss.
A few days after that farewell service, my wife, Beth, and I walked into Bob”s old office, which was to become my new office. It was a very surreal experience because it was empty. We were looking around at all the barren bookshelves trying to figure out how my library of books was going to make a dent in it. And as I wandered around, I saw Beth reading something. She said, “Have you seen this, it was under the telephone.” It was a note from Bob:
Dave,
Thanks for all you”ve done for me and for your support all these years. My prayer as I leave today is that this office will be a place where your walk with God is continually deepened, many great sermons will be written, and your wonderful sense of humor often will be expressed. I”m so thankful you are the one moving in.
God Bless!
Bob
After reading it, I looked at Beth, who had tears rolling down her face. And then she asked, “What did you put on his car windshield?”
I said, “I don”t want to talk about it! Just keep moving my coloring books over into this office.”
Most associates don”t stay at the same church for 17 years, because they don”t have a senior pastor who has such class and humility.
The job of senior pastor is tougher than it looks.
One thing has become crystal clear to me: even though I was on staff as an associate for 17 years, and even though I knew most everything that was going on, I realized within a matter of days that I had been shielded from a deeper layer of scrutiny, pain, and pressure.
For years as I drove on the interstate past the church building I always knew there was someone who would be taking more of the heat and who ultimately would be accountable for every good and bad decision.
But now when I glance over I”m reminded that those responsibilities fall to me . . . so I no longer drive that stretch of the interstate!
People feel more freedom to share their opinion with the senior minister.
On several occasions Bob told the Southeast congregation, “95 percent of the people in church are great. About 5 percent are a pain, but of that 5 percent about 1 percent of them can be downright nasty and mean.”
I really agree with Bob. In fact, it didn”t take long for that 1 percent to show themselves. They go into attack mode quite quickly, and somehow the senior pastor is instantly open game for a barrage of hateful e-mails or critical comments.
Jesus said, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you” (Luke 6:26). Well, that”s no longer a concern of mine.
Last year I was talking with a sweet older couple who shared they feel we need to sing more hymns. My favorite comment was when she said, “And it”s not just us who feel this way, some of the younger people in their 60s agree with us.”
I have received plenty of criticism for years, but it”s climbed to a different level. I recall David Wheeler”s statement, “May you have the heart of a child, the mind of a scholar, and the skin of a rhinoceros.”
While we haven”t gone in a dramatically different direction, we have made a number of changes in small ways. The combined effect of those little decisions has caused some anxious moments for those who were accustomed to having the same leader for four decades””and who was closer to their age.
We continue to be blessed with a godly eldership who are prayer warriors and who are completely united in the direction we are heading. I have team leaders who have been in alignment with “connecting people to Jesus and one another” and helping to drive that throughout our culture.
I also couldn”t ask for more passion and encouragement among our staff. The staff morale is excellent, and there”s a sense that God is rewarding our risks with a new level of excitement.
I’m not as good as Satan wants me to think I am.
I”ve worked at Southeast for 18 years, and I”ve seen time and time again that the megachurch setting somehow skews the view and can make preachers look better than we actually are. There is very little difference between my skill set and those who do the same thing at a church of 600 or 800.
If you find yourself in a large church, don”t be like Saul, who read his own headlines and believed them. Have the humility to laugh at yourself and to keep your feet on the ground in those moments when the flattery abounds.
I don”t know about you, but I tend to battle between feelings of inadequacy and moments of grandeur. I wish I could hang out longer in the middle””where I”m content to be the person God made me to be. That place where I”m not impressed with myself and yet I”m not down on myself, constantly comparing myself to others. Jesus said, “Whoever humbles himself will be exalted, and whoever exalts himself will be humbled.”
My four family members are more important to me than the thousands in my church.
I have a great wife. Many of you can relate because God has blessed you with an awesome spouse. My poor wife has to share me with so many; she also has to put up with the fact that people see me when I”m at my best, standing in front of a crowd and preaching. The result is people get a misleading impression that preachers are more spiritual than we are, that we must be incredible husbands and fathers, and that we”re always great listeners and prayer warriors.
My wife is a bigger partner in my ministry than she was a year ago. Beth has responded to my new position by continuing to be herself. She is my confidante, my encourager, and a balancing force in my life.
Her prayer life motivates me to pray more and my job has a way of driving me to my knees more. We pray together each night, but on my day off, each Friday, we try to have a prayer time that is a little longer in the morning before we eat lunch together.
I learned from Bob Russell that while we need to involve our family in our ministry we can”t become so consumed in growing the church that we neglect the first congregation that was entrusted to us. That is a real temptation””and I want to challenge those of you who still have kids at home to set boundaries and make your spouse and your kids your priority.
Recently I shared with our entire staff that their relationships with their families take priority over their ministries at Southeast. I wanted them to hear those words from my lips. Don”t shortchange the ones God has placed in your immediate flock.
My significance isn’t found in the size of my church, but through my relationship with Christ.
I have a lot of chinks in my armor. One of them is that I”m more concerned about numbers for the sake of my personal image than for the sake of the kingdom.
The past couple of years our average worship attendance has decreased about 200 each year. While we have stayed above 18,000, when you”re wired the way I am, that drop is very disappointing. Many in our church, and the leaders of other churches thought we would drop maybe a thousand or more after the transition. But in my mind, even though it was only 1 percent, I don”t like the direction.
We are confident our new multisite ventures will reverse that trend if we can hold our own for the next year.
I waited for 17 years, and toward the end I was champing at the bit to lead, but the reality of actually leading tempers the excitement a tad. Reality has a way of leveling the playing field! I love a lot about being the senior minister at this church, but there are a lot of things that go with the territory that keep me awake at night, cause a lot of stress, and take a lot of my time. But those challenges have forced me to my knees.
God has been faithful and he has restored my joy in a lot of different ways. Some of it is through having several respected leaders of other churches confirm to me that it takes a couple of years to settle into the position. They say it”s normal when a church goes through change for criticism and second-guessing to test your leadership. Just having others confirm that reality has helped me. With each storm I weather, I think I get a little stronger. The more “wins” I experience the more the joy returns.
I think back to something Bob Russell told me: “Do you remember when Paul went through that list of all the different pressures he faced? After mentioning shipwrecks, being beaten by rods, being stoned, hungry, naked, cold, and in danger from bandits, he adds, “˜Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches“” (2 Corinthians 11:28).
I”m so glad Bob reminded me of that. And somehow that helped me to know that even for the apostle Paul, shipwrecks, bodily injury, and a night in the open sea pale in comparison to the normal, daily pressures of church leadership. And for some strange reason, that makes me feel better.
Things are still pressure-packed, but I”m learning to pray more. The everyday demands have motivated me to get on my knees more. Since early December, I have been exercising two to three days a week, and this has relieved a lot of the stress.
As far as my skills and abilities, little has changed in the past year. I am still in “over my head”! But when I tremble under the pressure and I realize my limitations””at those moments when I feel like God couldn”t use me in ministry, especially at a church like Southeast””it is then that the Lord says, “That”s right where I want you to be, because when you are depending solely on me””that”s when I can use you.”
Dave Stone is senior minister with Southeast Christian Church, Louisville, Kentucky.
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