By Victor M. Parachin
One day in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, a car was stolen. As the thieves began stripping the vehicle they came across papers identifying the owner as Fred Rogers, host of the children”s television program Mr. Rogers” Neighborhood. They quickly reassembled the car, cleaned and vacuumed it, and returned it with this handwritten note of apology under the wiper: “We”re sorry. We didn”t know it was your car.”
Who else could have had such an effect on a group of thieves? What was it about Fred Rogers that could make criminals reconsider their actions? What did those thieves see in Mr. Rogers that made them want to be better people?
The answer is this: Fred Rogers was a man of immense love for humanity, especially children. His life eloquently reflected the clear, consistent command of the Bible to be people of love.
Jesus said, “Love one another. As I have loved you” (John 13:34). Paul prayed, “May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else” (1 Thessalonians 3:12). Peter wrote, “Love one another deeply, from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22). Scripture states, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” (Galatians 5:6). In addition, the apostle Paul identifies love as a key quality of the Christian”s life. It”s the very first fruit of the Spirit in his list to the Galatians.
Here are some ways to maximize your power of love.
Don”t be yourself; be someone a little nicer. That”s Jesus” advice in the Sermon on the Mount when he says, “If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles” (Matthew 5:41). That teaching is the source of the phrase “going the extra mile.” If you truly wish to maximize your power of love, go the extra mile. Don”t just be yourself. Be someone a little nicer.
Alma Barkman of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, was on the receiving end of someone who went the extra mile more than 40 years ago. She remembers that she was “awkwardly” pregnant with her second son. It was laundry day before the era of automatic dryers, so she was dragging a heavy wicker basket full of wet clothes outside to hang on the wash line. The squeaking of the clothesline pulley attracted the attention of a telephone repairman high up on a pole in another yard. The two exchanged a neighborly wave.
After hanging the wash to dry, she went inside to make lunch for her toddler son. Inside she could hear the clothes snapping in the wind. Suddenly there was an ominous silence. Looking out, she was dismayed to see the clothesline had broken and most of her snowy white wash had fallen onto the garden plot. Already exhausted, she pulled on rubber boots, picked up the clothes basket, and trudged outside.
Coming around the corner she was startled to meet the telephone repairman face-to-face. “I saw the whole thing happen,” he explained, smiling, “so I came down the pole to give you a hand. Free service and a lifetime guarantee!” he said as he pulled a pair of pliers from his leather tool belt. With a few skillful twists, he quickly mended the broken clothesline.
“Forty years later I think about that kindly repairman so unselfishly giving of himself to help a stranger in her plight.”
Nurture a child”s capacity to love. Many parents and other adults reserve their highest praise to a child for his or her intellectual or athletic accomplishments. “David, I”m so proud of how smart you are! This is a great report card,” or “Kelley, you”re an incredible athlete. What a basketball player you are.”
Commenting on this issue, Rabbi Joseph Telushkin says, “Is it healthy for children who are very smart or athletic to be raised to believe that these talents and abilities are truly what is most important about them?” Telushkin offers this advice to parents and coaches, youth workers, or Sunday school teachers: “Reserve your highest praise to your children for when they perform kind deeds.”
The ideal time to compliment a young person is whenever he or she acts in kind, compassionate, loving ways. That way you extend and expand loving attitudes through another generation. “Think about that for a moment,” says Telushkin, “a generation of people who most like themselves when they are doing good. What a world that would be!”
Help another person flourish when they flounder. When you see someone floundering, reach out with love to help that individual flourish. Every time we stretch ourselves on behalf of another, it is a form of love in action. The difference between a person floundering and flourishing often is the action of one person. Keep in mind this wisdom from author Barbara De Angelis: “Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”
Consider the difference one person made on the life of Henry David Thoreau. On July 4, 1845, Thoreau moved into his isolated cabin on Walden Pond, near Concord, Massachusetts. He was 27 and wanted to experiment with living simply.
His inspiration came from a memorable trip he took with his beloved brother, John. During the summer of 1839 he and John built a boat, sailed it down the Concord River, and took a two-week walking tour around Mount Washington.
That trip and time with his brother became a highlight in Thoreau”s life. It took on greater meaning when John cut himself shaving in the winter of 1841, contracted lockjaw, and died in Thoreau”s arms.
Thoreau was devastated. For weeks after his brother”s death, Thoreau was unable to write or talk to family or friends, and he even experienced symptoms of lockjaw himself. It was a family friend, Ralph Waldo Emerson, who reached out and suggested Thoreau take his mind off his grief by writing reviews of natural history books. Thoreau responded positively and received great comfort from the task. Thoreau wrote an essay about the natural history books that became one of his early literary successes. He continued writing essays for several years, always recalling the summer he spent with his brother and the renewal he experienced living in the wilderness.
Thoreau wanted to re-create the experience, but on a deeper level, so he began looking for a place where he could build a small cabin in the woods. Again, his friend Emerson responded by generously giving him a few acres of land on Walden Pond, a place Thoreau had been visiting most of his life.
There, Thoreau built a tiny cabin””10 feet wide and 15 feet long. He stayed in it for two years, two months, and two days. Based on that experience, he published his book Walden, a reflection upon simple living in natural surroundings. Though it sold only 256 copies in its first year, the book has never gone out of print and has been translated into hundreds of languages.
Practice forgiveness. The humorous but sad story is told of a very sick man who finally sought a doctor. After examining him and running some tests, the physician said, “I”m sorry, sir, you have rabies, and because you waited so long, there”s nothing that can be done for you. You will die in a few days.”
The man was stunned, so the doctor withdrew to give the man time to compose himself. When the doctor returned, the man was writing furiously on a sheet of paper.
Are you making a will?” the doctor asked.
“No!” said the man, “I”m making a list of all the people I”m going to bite!”
Resentment, revenge, and rage may feel good initially, but in the long run holding a grudge simply freezes us in place, destroys peace of mind, and erodes our capacity for loving-kindness. Extend forgiveness and you will maximize your love while experiencing the richness of life.
Appreciate the power of your love. Love is such a compelling force that minister and author Emmet Fox noted:
There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer; no disease that enough love will not heal; no door that enough love will not open; no gulf that enough love will not bridge; no wall that enough love will not throw down; no sin that enough love will not redeem. . . . It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble; how hopeless the outlook; how muddled the tangle; how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all. If only you could love enough you would be the happiest and most powerful being in the world.
Understand and appreciate your power to love. Tap into it. Speak and act in loving ways toward everyone you encounter.
More than anything else, all people want love and acceptance. You have it in your power to give them what they want.
Victor Parachin is an ordained minister in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), an author, and a freelance journalist living in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
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