Our Ministry to Gays and Lesbians

By James C. Donovan

“I am so glad you are doing this Bible study. The churches who teach the Bible as God”s Word don”t want me there and the churches who welcome me don”t teach the Bible as God”s Word.”

Those words will be a lasting memory from my effort in ministering to gays and lesbians. The man who uttered those words at a Bible study in a home was a delightful person who called himself a believer and openly admitted his homosexuality. He had only recently come out of the closet and was genuinely struggling with his lifestyle and his faith.

Such remarks from a believing man who identifies himself as gay do remind us that there are misconceptions held by Christians about gays. I also held some of the typical stereotypes when it came to gays and lesbians. I erroneously assumed that those who were practicing homosexuals were not believers and frequently were anti-Christian.

LOVE THE SINNER?

Holding a traditional position on homosexuality and homosexuals made it extremely difficult to minister to them. Of course, it is one thing to say “love the sinner and hate the sin,” but an entirely different thing to try to reach out to them and love them in Christ without condoning their lifestyle and behavior. To date, it is the single most difficult thing I have tried to do in 39-plus years of ministry.

I recently made that remark to a young minister and the reply was interesting, “What”s so difficult? Just love them.”

Well, let me tell you what has been so difficult.

“¢ Often, for a variety of reasons, the leadership in my church may not be united on how to reach out to homosexuals. Our elders were united in their desire to reach out to the homosexual community, but they were divided on the approach. Specifically, should we demand that they leave their lifestyle in order to become a member of our church or should we invite them to come to Christ (thus “joining” our fellowship) and allow him to empower them to leave their lifestyle?

Without a specifically designed strategy, we have tried a variety of approaches. Through our addiction recovery ministry, I have had the opportunity to counsel a number of gay men. One asked me if he could join our church””he was a professing Christian. I said he would be welcome. He then asked if he could bring his partner. I told him his partner would be welcome, but if they were a part of our fellowship, then our elders and I would ask them to separate and to leave the homosexual lifestyle. He said that wasn”t fair. I told him that was our biblical position.

However, a couple of years later we were approached by a lesbian couple who had been Christians since childhood. They told me God had called them away from sexual relations, but that they were still a couple calling themselves lesbians. I had never encountered celibate homosexuals (they didn”t teach this in ministry classes in Bible college). If they were indeed celibate, where was the sin? So, I approached the elders with this situation and they agreed on our ministering to them as a part of our fellowship. I began a weekly Bible study at their home, and a number of gays, lesbians, and straights attended.

“¢ Another issue with which our elders grappled was the well-being of our church community; shepherds are responsible for the safety of the flock. We all agreed the elders were mandated to protect the church, but we could not agree on whether the presence of the “celibate” lesbian couple actually was a threat to the church. We did not allow them to hold positions of leadership or teach. So, was their involvement in worship threatening the flock?

There is a responsibility on behalf of the church to set a good example for our young people who are looking to us as role models. However, in a very informal poll, some of our teenagers were asked what they thought of Sally and Sue being in our church. Most of them were unaware Sally and Sue “were a couple,” and those who knew simply thought it was cool our church loved them and that they were a part of our community.

We must be aware that the upcoming generation, the millennial generation, has grown up with diversity, including sexual diversity. While we may be appalled at their acceptance of it, we dare not be unaware or insensitive to it (note I said insensitive to their acceptance of it). There definitely is a great disparity between the baby boomer”s (40- to 60-year-olds) and the millennial”s point of view and attitudes about homosexuality. Of course, our position is based on Scripture, but our interpretation and application of it always comes within the context of a community of believers. God”s Word was always written for community and should be interpreted and applied within a specific community.

“¢ As with all social and theological issues, unity should be an underlying concern. We should not pursue unity for the sake of unity, but for the sake of Christ and his community. This was foremost in his mind on the night before his crucifixion””that his body be united. His body has been fragmented in so many ways, and the issue of how to evangelize and minister to gays and lesbians is way down the list. Nonetheless, it is a volatile issue that can create conflict.

“¢ Reputation in the local community and within the Christian community also was a consideration in our ministry. Throughout a five year-plus Bible study, I frequently thought of Paul”s admonition to the church at Corinth about allowing a sinful man to remain in their fellowship:

But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral. . . . With such a man do not even eat. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked man from among you” (1 Corinthians 5:11-13).

It is a fine line we walk in ministering to sinners without condoning their sin.

“¢ What is God”s desire in this? How does he want us to behave? I do not believe in a one-size-fits-all approach. Scripture is very clear on the issue of homosexual promiscuity, which I believe is what Paul addresses in his writings in the first century. God adamantly opposes this behavior.

However, I don”t believe the majority of gays and lesbians whom I have met have chosen being a homosexual any more than I have chosen to be heterosexual. It is so easy for us heterosexuals to say they have chosen to be a homosexual.

It might be better stated that homosexuality has chosen them through a variety of life events. Often through dysfunctional families, abuse, ridicule, and an array of other circumstances they have been chosen. I don”t believe homosexuality is genetic per se””even though I have observed homosexual tendencies in some small children. I cannot explain this from a theological point of view and do not feel the necessity to do so.

GOD”S WORD AND HIS WILL

I stand firmly on God”s Word that sex outside of marriage is against God”s will””it is sin. I define marriage as “one man, one woman, for one life.” Our problem is that we have frequently focused on the sin of homosexuality and have winked at heterosexual sin and “serial polygamy” in our Christian communities.

In the final analysis, my prayer is that we have glorified God in our efforts to testify to his grace and truth. I hope we have done no harm””either to our church family or to the gays and lesbians who have been and continue to be a part of our community. We also desire that the seeds sown in their lives will bear fruit and that they will be drawn away from the homosexual lifestyle and into the life God has in mind for them.

James Donovan is minister with Southwest Christian Church in East Point, Georgia. He has held weekly a Bible study in a private residence with gays and lesbians for approximately five years. Jim works weekly (meeting and counseling) with recovering addicts and alcoholics and is actively involved with college students at Atlanta Christian College and Georgia Tech.