By Cal Jernigan
Perhaps you heard the story of the man who was stranded alone on a deserted island for a number of years. One day a ship appeared on the horizon, noticed him, and sent some men ashore to rescue him.
While helping him gather his scant belongings, the rescuers noticed three huts clustered together and asked the man about them. The man pointed to one of the huts and explained that it served as his house, and then he pointed to another and explained that it was where he went to church.
The man stopped without mentioning the third hut, so his rescuers pressed him. “Oh that,” the man said disgustedly, “that”s where I used to go to church.”
What makes this story funny is the absurdity of it if it were true. What makes the story tragic is that we understand just how true it might be.
Is Anybody Else Bothered by This?
Something very disturbing is happening in the church these days. People are choosing to change churches at unprecedented rates, and often for the most trivial reasons. Call it “church shopping,” “church hopping,” or “dating the church,” this trend should sound the alarm to those who care about the welfare of the bride of Christ.
It seems just about every church leader I talk to is taking notice of this. The animated cartoon King of the Hill even dedicated an episode to it. (Are you kidding me!) Apparently, church hopping has become the new pastime of Christians, and even the world has noticed.
The Barna Group claims a whopping 45 percent of Americans said they are open to changing their current church home.* Some people do, in fact, change, while others rotate their attendance between a carefully chosen handful of churches. Sadly, it”s not uncommon to talk to someone who divides his or her loyalties weekly between several different churches by taking in the preaching of one, the worship of another, and the children”s program of a third.
Much has been written about the creeping influence of consumerism in the church, and many are seeing it firsthand. America is a designer nation””we are a people obsessed with having our individual needs met, and we have become indoctrinated with the belief that it is our right to have things our way.
Many people today approach church with the same casual mind-set as choosing something far less significant (a restaurant or a movie theater). For a growing number of people, where they will go to church this weekend depends simply on what”s being served or what”s showing (or, in many cases, who”s showing!).
To be fair, there certainly are reasons that justify leaving one church to become a member of another: false doctrine being taught, the gospel not being preached, some form of corruption in the church that isn”t being addressed, a tolerance for sin, etc. I think most church leaders are willing to acknowledge there are times when people are wise to change churches when the seasons of their lives change, or to seek fellowship at a church that has an outstanding emphasis in an area where they are most in need. If this is done respectfully then all is well.
Why Do People Leave?
Truth be known, our reasons for leaving one church for another are often not so noble. We leave because we have become disgruntled and would rather change our environment than change ourselves. The possibilities are numerous: we don”t like the music, or the choice of instruments, or the volume, or the personality of someone, or the focus of the mission of the church, or . . . the list is endless.
Perhaps what is most disturbing about leaving one church for another is the apparent need to justify our reasons to others. In doing so, seeds of division and discord are sown within the body left behind. Seldom, if ever, it seems, does the problem or blame lie with the people who are leaving. Rather, it is always about a flaw or a fault they perceive in the church, which they seem bent on describing in great detail. Is this not just the voice of guilt speaking? Again, what you”ll not hear is a confession that the problem is theirs.
(My secret fantasy is that one day I will hear someone actually confessing blame: “We”re leaving because we”re incredibly shallow people who feel convicted by the intense preaching of the Word of God in this place and are going to find a church that caters to our self-centeredness and where we don”t fall under the conviction of the Spirit of God like we do here.” But I digress).
What Is Fueling This Epidemic?
I suppose there are many reasons (like the rise of consumerism mentioned above), but a short list would have to include the following:
“¢ A loss of commitment to any specific denomination or brotherhood of churches. This isn”t breaking news, but the fallout of this trend continues to breed a lack of loyalty in the lives of those who attend church. Fewer people now understand the distinctive history, purpose, and doctrine of any church they attend.
“¢ The rising influence of social media. These days we all have the potential to be aware of what”s happening in the lives of our friends, down to the smallest details. We know when someone”s checking out another church and we hear their “review” of it. If someone switches, they can invite all their friends to join them in their new setting. Just hearing this sort of stuff can cause a previously content person to become restless.
“¢ The marketing/seeker/attractional mind-set of the church. Churches have learned how to cater to the needs of the consumer, and they have had to become increasingly more savvy at positioning their church as cooler, or hipper, than the church down the block.
In our community, we have no less than 10 megachurches within a 15-minute drive of our campuses. It seems like one of these is always the “flavor of the month,” attracting a crowd because of what it”s currently offering.
“¢ An ever-increasing belief that our happiness means more to God than our holiness. Maybe this is at the core of it. “I have a right to get whatever it is I want, and I should be able to have church my way.”
What”s the Big Deal? Who Cares?
Well, I would submit that this trend undermines the very reason Christ founded the church. The church is a community of believers who are bound together by a common bond of faith and practice. Can any of us really become what God intended us to be without the involvement of the Spirit of God in the rest of us? If you are not known well by a group of people, then who is capable or qualified to tell you what you need to hear (but don”t want to)? Many people”s intention in changing churches is to “fly under the radar” of the new church””to not know or be known.
Drew Goodmanson said it this way, “With the increased access online to preachers, teachers, and resources, many Christians may try to self-select their own content rather than participating in the life of a community. One unintended consequence is people will only seek out the things that interest them, therefore they will avoid the whole counsel of God”s Word.”
Is this a good thing? Ephesians 4:11-13 reminds us, “It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God”s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” How can the body of Christ grow without roots?
Where Do We Go from Here?
I close by offering the following thoughts that could begin to turn the tide.
For those who attend a church:
“¢ Determine to stay put. Instead of leaving when you get frustrated, why not
let God use the people of his church to shape your life and character? When you are most inclined to want to leave is probably when you are closest to having a breakthrough in your faith. Leave only after you have given the Spirit adequate time to lead you.
“¢ Talk, don”t run. Determine to resolve your disagreements in a biblical manner (Matthew 18). Set up an appointment with your minister to share your concerns. Ask specific questions with an open mind to understanding why things are the way they are.
“¢ Think ownership, not membership. We have placed so much emphasis on membership in churches that we have come to believe it is the highest devotion we can express to our church. Instead, why not have an owner”s mind-set? This is the difference between buying and renting. You stick with that with which you deeply identify.
To those who lead a church:
“¢ Acknowledge it hurts when people leave! The pain serves to remind you of how much you care about people. It is always difficult not to take it personally, especially when friends and longtime members leave. When it stops hurting, you”ve stopped loving.
“¢ Know your target! Teach the people of your church NOT to “evangelize” people from other churches! When you hold special events, clarify to the flock who they are, and are not, encouraged to invite.
“¢ Don”t encourage church hopping! Get to know the preachers at the other churches in your area. When you meet someone from another church who”s checking out your church, assure them that you are friends with the minister they are leaving and that you believe they need to “go home.”
Stay true to your core purposes. Every church has its unique calling and unique touch of God”s fingerprint upon it. Stay true to what God has called you to do and to be. Failing to do this will cause you to morph into something you weren”t created to be.
Preach the Word . . . then preach the Word some more. The more people are taught the biblical purposes of the church, the more inclined they will be to live consistent with the biblical mandate Christ has for his church. In the end, it”s usually the church holding the Word highest that draws the best crowd.
________
*”Americans Are Exploring New Ways of Experiencing God,” The Barna Group, June 8, 2009.
Cal Jernigan has served as senior pastor with Central Christian Church in Mesa, Arizona, since 1999.
As a current shopper . . . where Christ is not, neither do I want to be.
I appreciate the challenge the author gives to combat the idea that it always needs to be our way. However, I really don’t think this issue is as black and white as he makes it seem.
While I agree that it’s ridiculous to leave a congregation over something trivial like not liking the instruments, at what point does one draw the line? (When the worship leader continues choosing the same shallow, insipid songs over and over again, and one really connects to God through music, what then?)
My congregation changed a big part of the focus of its mission to something other than what it was when I joined. I disagree rather strongly with it, though I’m not comfortable labeling it outright false doctrine. Am I to stand up to the 800-plus other people across our campuses who are content to stay and get them to bend to my will? Or do I find another local congregation content with always preaching the gospel and inviting all equally to the church?
In Romans 12:18, Paul teaches us, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (English Standard Version). That is why I am more than likely going to find a new congregation to worship with. I reject the interpretation that not giving up the habit of meeting together means clinging stubbornly to your congregation.
I agree that a major cause of “Church shopping by consumer Christians” is a lack of ownership.
But there seems to be a movement within the church to withhold that ownership.
When we moved to town five years ago, we joined a new church plant. The only leadership of the church was the minister and an oversight committee of the distant church planting organization.
The result? A group of Christians enjoying morning worship, but with the same relationship with the church as they have with their favorite after worship lunch spot. Loyal to both. Frequent at both. Consumers at both.
We are going to have elders this Spring. But the situation will not improve.
Citing the “division of voting”, the elders will not be chosen by the congregation. They were hand selected by the minister and the oversight committee.
Future elders will be chosen by current elders, and the members of the church are not voting members of the congregation (only elders are).
While a very safe arrangement for the leadership, the congregation has no say except with their feet and no draw to be engaged. In essence, consumers.
I’m not sure how widespread this new church leadership model may be – our minister teaches evangelism at Bible Colleges, for example.
But I fear the long term results.
(Note: There is another new, more common model with many of the same characteristics.- Satellite Campuses.)
How do we get around this ‘church shopping, hopping’ matter. Maybe we won’t until we come to realize tht there is a deeply fundamental reason for the activity.
I wish to deposit that the relationship each person has with God is deeply personal and as a result the search for truth will continue.
That may very well be the reason for the ‘shopping’. Such persons are searching for a ‘community’ to which they desire to make a long term commitment. Once they find it, and are being encouraged to own it, serve within it etc. there is no letting go. People deeply committed to a cause will endure misunderstandings, and other human relational challenges for the sake of the greater good.
The ‘hopper’ is in search of truth too, but just maybe they are not prepared to make a long term investment.
The need is now, and if this can be satisfied now, then he/she will take it.
We need to create room for the ‘hoppers’ , who knows, they may very well find the truth for which they search.
I like the balance of your article.
I do not think this is black and white also. In fact, the ownership part is actually a big part of the problem with churches today. Everybody wants to own one and become the ramrod or boss of the church. That cannot be. The Bible says to desire the office of a bishop is a good thing. Yet, it is Christ who is the head of the church, no one else. But folk have learned that if they disclose their opinion to another or to the board or elders, then they are considered “against” the flow of the church and therefore are outcast as troublemakers. Our leadership role makes us want to be humble, not owners of the church. We are to be considerate, listen intently to the people, care and love them, work with them . . . not cast them out. So what do folk do? Many have moved on to find that “greener” pasture because of ridicule and trouble, or rather ownership of the church. “It is mine and that is the way it is going to be here at the First Church of the We Are Not Going to Do It That Way!” This sounds harsh, but the reality of it is very true. I have seen large megachurches become just that . . . megachurches not from winning souls, but from people joining from other outside churches searching for a place to belong! I agree we do need to set the atmosphere for worship in our churches. We need to stay updated in music, Bible study, all programs. We need to get out of our complacency and move forward for Christ! Let us not win 10 in the front door and lose 20 out the back! That is wasteful to say the least. It has been said Christians are the only ones who shoot their wounded! It was true back then, it is true today. Let us NOT shoot the wounded, but rather wrap our arms around them, love them and care for them, to nurture them to Christ! Can we do that?
The movement of the “restless” churchgoer is just as attributable to how we tend to “brand” our churches today. We aim to court a specific demographic and take great pains to make all aspects of worship and ministry appeal to that demographic. The truth is that the gospel is always relevant to any culture and if we present it in its truth and with commitment and conviction, instead of with gimmicks and modern camouflage, it will still reach the lost and produce committed disciples of our Lord, who will find their ministry within the local congregation.
The current migration for any and all reasons hurts the efforts made to reach the lost and needs to be avoided. But we who lead must recognize that unity and genuine commitment to following the Lord daily are greater witnesses to the lost and the immature in Christ than all of our culturally modified programs.
Be sure, though, that there are legitimate reasons to leave. Certainly the unwillingness of leadership to address incorrect doctrinal teachings or visible sin within the church are acceptable reasons, but only after proper discussion. With the distance between many of our churches it may be not only more desirable, but even more productive, to labor within your community where you have influence; should a new congregation begin in your area. Regardless of the reason, prayer and discernment of God’s will, rather than disputes of matters of opinion and liberty, must rule the day.
To read this article the institution of the church needs no reform, the people just need to develop thicker skins and stay put.
Yet, only part of the problem is being presented here. Not only are “lay” people leaving churches in droves, pastors and christian workers are as well, to the tune of 1,700 per month according to Barna with 1,300 per month being terminated or forced to leave by Churches.
There is far more at work in the trends than just people who are leaving local churches for the “wrong reasons.” Many people leaving institutional churches are leaving not because they are immature or have lost their faith in Christ. They are leaving to pursue Him more devotedly and because they believe it is necessary to leave the morass of Institutional ministry that hinders knowing and developing a deeper walk with Christ.
I don’t see that trend changing any time soon, particularly when the trend among many in leadership appears to be blaming those who are leaving institutional christianity and whistling past the graveyard as to the real reasons many are leaving.
Well, I have a slightly different point of view. Sometimes people “church-shop” for good reasons – it’s when they long to hear gospel-centered preaching every Sunday (not entertaining, “relevant”, moralistic lessons, with numerous secular quotations or humourous/witty storys with a moral or somewhat godly lesson attached)- those things aren’t wrong, but a healthy church diet should always be made on the person and work of Christ alone instead of an overabundance of these things. It is possible and perfectly human that a church’s leadership may be unwilling or unable to recognize a trend towards lack of real-gospel / Christ-centered preaching as a problem. If this happens then concerned church members should make every attempt to address concerns with leadership appropriately and humbly. If this takes place in an environment where the member finds an immediately less-than-humble or harsh dismissal of their concerns, then church members can and should…shop around.
Wow Jackson! Our stories are so similar it’s scary!! To boot…it was suggested that I might be happier ar a southern baptist church if I wanted to hear gospel preaching every week. Anyway. I did shop around and find a church that loves and makes much of the gospel. Oh BTW…it was a junior pastor that serves at the same church as the writer of this article that quickly dismissed my concerns and suggested I shop! Humble leadership should be just as important as humble laymanship 🙁
Its not the church itself. It is you. I know this offends people, but, God always provides the message, whether you have the mindset to hear it is a different story. You sometimes need to take a look at your life and see where you need to improve. Yes, there are always gonna be things you don’t like, but that is in every church. My husband and I recently over the past year have looked at different churches to attend. We have since realized, we were always where we needed to be.
What is fueling this epidemic?
That is easy, how about elders who think they are god and can do no wrong.