The Problem with Swearing

“Let your “˜yes” be “˜yes” and your “˜no” be “˜no.”” What was Jesus saying, and what does it mean to our own quest for integrity?

By Casey Tygrett

Why is integrity lacking in the church? I don”t believe it comes from not knowing certain sacred doctrines. The great issue is a spiritual formation problem because the formation of the Spirit of Christ within us should shape the action of the Spirit of Christ outside of us. Integrity comes from our mind shifting, our motivations being redirected, and our actions following suit.

Jesus speaks about integrity in a passage I have never heard preached.

One of Jesus” initial teachings in his Sermon on the Mount deals with swearing“”not the hammer-meets-thumb kind of swearing, but a question of oaths. Sandwiched between teachings on divorce and retaliation is a statement about taking oaths and performing “to the Lord what you have sworn” (Matthew 5:33*). In other words, do what you”ve promised on oath that you”d do.

The Trouble with Swearing

The problem with an oath is it reveals a lack of trust. I don”t make an oath to my wife that I”ll love her. No, loving my wife is part of who I am. She trusts me to love her. Most of our adult relationships, however, especially business relationships, are built on oaths and contracts; this is because of a profound lack of trust and a need to protect against the integrity issues in another person. Swearing an oath is an effort to make someone believe us. It is an act of verbal manipulation that happens because people just don”t do what they say they will do.

Jesus counters the conventional teaching about oaths, however, and says, “Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black” (vv. 34-36).

Take a moment and think on that: the common oaths and contracts today need collateral. They require a down payment or a possession that is held to make sure we keep our end of the bargain. The oaths Jesus took on were made on Heaven””the dwelling place of God. In case you were wondering, that”s not up for auction. Neither is Jerusalem. Neither is your head, because someone else is shaping, caring for, and watching your hair age with time.

Today we say, “I swear on my mother”s grave” or “I swear to God” or “I swear on my life.” All of it is bargaining, all of it is verbal manipulation””trying to talk someone into believing something about which they must be convinced.

Jesus instead says, “Let what you say be simply “˜Yes” or “˜No”; anything more than this comes from evil” (v. 37). To have a “Yes” or “No” that carries this kind of weight means inside and outside are deeply connected. Our activity springs from a place deep within, a root tapping a living water source (Psalm 1) that never runs out or needs to be “sold” to others. It is who we are. It is what we do.

Reclaiming “Yes” and “No”

Integrity need not be a lost art. We can find that poetic fusion of inner and outer worlds quite easily if we”re willing to embrace some very difficult things about our desires and ourselves. Here are just a few challenges we need to overcome to reconnect our inner and outer worlds:

1. The need for image management

In The Good and Beautiful Life, James Bryan Smith tells about being around academic colleagues who were talking about a book they loved and respected, but which he had not read.

The conversation turned to Smith and they asked if he had read it, and he faked a response by using head nods and “mmm” sounds that made it seem like he had read the book. But why?

When we examine ourselves, we see we often speak or act in ways that lead people to believe we are something we”re not. In the church, for instance, we promote an image that is flawless and holy, even when we are struggling””like everyone else””to keep our “cheese from sliding off the cracker” (in Brennan Manning”s brilliant phrasing).

Integrity is impossible if we are trying to paint an exterior image that simply does not match the experiences and realities of our inner lives with Christ. I”m not suggesting we walk around with our every blot and blemish exposed for everyone to see. No, we need to practice discretion and have trusted companions we confide in. But the moment we realize we”re free from managing other people”s perceptions, we begin to feel our inner and outer worlds lock fingers again.

Jesus was addressing this issue when he called out the Pharisees as “whitewashed tombs.”

2. Not knowing ourselves

Integrity requires we know what”s in our closets, what”s hidden behind the old coats and blankets . . . those things we desperately hope stay there, hidden and dusty, forever. We fear the secret us would make our pastors and friends shudder.

The odd thing about integrity is it needs our moral darkness, our broken pieces and mark-missing habits (see Romans 3:23) in order to function. Paul was moving toward greater integrity by saying, “I have this stuff inside; I don”t want to act on it but I do. There are things I”d like to do, but I don”t do those things for some reason.” (Romans 7:15-20, author paraphrase). Honesty and confession are the hallmarks of a journey toward integrity.

Two of my greatest spiritual mentors are men who rapidly and without warning admit to their shortcomings, fears, and failures. I suppose I could question whether following their example is a good idea, or I could see what”s really going on: the more quickly we recognize the disconnect that sabotages our identity, the more quickly we reestablish connection with the fruits of the Spirit God longs to bring to life in us.

Integrity Reaches for Wisdom

Is it better to do the right thing for the wrong reason or the wrong thing for the right reason? This may sound like some sort of small group icebreaker or philosophical puzzle, but when it comes to Jesus, this is a life or death question. It is also an integrity question. Who we are, that integration of inner and outer, is a response to this question.

The older brother and the prodigal son answer this question.

Jesus” dealings with healing on the Sabbath answer this question.

Jesus” response to critics of his disciples eating on the Sabbath?

Yes, that too.

Integrity requires wisdom””that”s what Jesus is reaching for with his teaching and guidance. Don”t just keep the law; know why you keep it and then you”ll know when to break it. But there are communities of followers of Jesus who prize keeping the law over acting with integrity; that is, having what is inside match what is outside.

As Jesus said, let your “Yes” be “Yes,” He had in mind a wise person. He had in mind a person who knew the junk in their own heart, but who was also questing to know the heart of the God who called him toward a wise and beautiful life. He had in mind someone who didn”t need to manipulate anyone through oaths and image management, but could simply cut a path through life by simply being a person of integrity. Confessing the inner and acting consistently in the outer, these wise people of integrity are deeply needed today.

So is your “˜Yes” or “˜No” good to stand on its own?

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*Scripture quotations are from the English Standard Version of the Bible, unless otherwise indicated. 

Casey Tygrett serves as spiritual formation pastor with Parkview Christian Church, Orland Park, Illinois.