Nondenominationalish News Briefs

The annual meeting at Middle of the Road Christian Church is generating a level of excitement never seen before, as a faction of the congregation that loudly supports candidate for elder MacDonald Blunt, a self-styled real estate developer, squares off against their rivals, supporters of Richland Tweed, a psychiatrist and adjunct professor at the local university. A key issue is the use of paper or electronic ballots. Senior minister David McStraddles has taken no position. The election will take place after worship on Sunday, Nov. 18—immediately prior to the church’s Thanksgiving meal together.

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Another tight elder’s race, this one at Piscopo Christian Church in Passaic, New Jersey, pits Rehoboam Richardson against James Everett Jamison. Richardson supporters have placed posters in the narthex showing Jamison’s empty seat in the conference room during recent elders meetings. Jenny Richardson Flemming, head of the Return Elder Rehoboam Richardson Committee, alleges the 65-year-old Jamison does not show up for important decisions, including the recent issue concerning moving the coat rack from near the southside entry doors to the northside hallway that leads to the gymatorium. “It’s getting colder outside,” said Flemming, “and the ‘Coat Vote’ was critical . . . and he didn’t even bother to show up.” When asked for comment, Jamison said, “I was at the meeting. I just have to take a bathroom break once in a while.”

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Church secretary Tammy Leah Lee of Plainsville (S.C.) Christian Church wishes to correct a recent mistake in the church newsletter. “I accidentally typed, ‘Don’t forget to vote this Sunday morning and change your clocks on Tuesday,’” she told us in a panic. “Bless my heart. I apologize for any confusion this may cause. Please place this at the top of your news briefs this week!”

Note from web-lackey: The order of these news briefs is a high-level editorial decision. I am not permitted to make such a change. Sorry, Ms. Lee.

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Independent (Ind.) Church of Christ has a service project beginning at 6:01 p.m. this Tuesday, Nov. 6. Volunteers will scour the county, removing all political signs wherever they may be found. In unrelated news, the church plans a community bonfire Friday night.

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Trevor Jennings, senior minister of Recumbent Christian Church in Normal, Ill., and his wife, Sarai, are happy to report that their son, Methuselah, will marry Peninnah Statler, daughter of Dorothea and Slim Statler, the pastor of Byword Church of Christ, Oblong, Ill., at 9:30 a.m. Jan. 12, 2019 at BC/C. It won’t be the first time an Oblong girl has married a Normal guy. A brunch will follow.

Christian Standard is just kidding.