By David Faust
A young minister sent me an e-mail with a request. “I’ve been going through some leadership coaching,” he wrote, “and one question my coach asked me was, ‘What are some trust builders and breakers for you?’” My friend wondered how I would answer that question.
TRUST BREAKERS
I wrote back, and my list of trust breakers included:
• Lying or being two-faced. Any form of dishonesty weakens trust. We shouldn’t conduct ourselves one way in public but act differently in private and show different “faces” to different people. Our actions should match our words.
• Unreliability and inconsistency. Trust decreases if we make promises we don’t fulfill and say we’ll do something, but don’t follow through. For example, it damages trust if we don’t show up on time for scheduled meetings, as if our time is more important than everyone else’s. It’s hard to follow inconsistent, unpredictable leaders who switch their vision frequently, so others don’t know what to expect or what they’ll come up with next.
• Blaming. It weakens trust if we refuse to accept responsibility for our sins, mistakes, and goof-ups. Leaders who lack integrity never say, “I’m sorry” or “It’s my fault.” Instead, they always find others to blame when things go wrong.
• Pridefulness. Confidence is a positive leadership quality, but it’s difficult to trust people who are so cocky and self-assured they believe they’re always right. Arrogant leaders refuse to listen and learn from others. They insist on having their own way, constantly seek the limelight, and become jealous when others receive positive attention.
• Poor decisions. We all establish a track record—a reputation based on experience—that impacts how others perceive us. Wise decisions and positive outcomes build trust.
• Unwillingness to do the “hard stuff.” Trust diminishes if leaders always leave unpleasant tasks to others. It grows when people go through hardship together—when we see our leaders dive in, get their hands dirty, and tackle sticky problems, doing their best under difficult circumstances.
TRUST BUILDERS
In response, my friend sent me a follow-up e-mail and asked, “Would you say that trust builders are the opposites of all those points, or are there any unique things that help trust to grow?”
I answered, “Yes, the opposite of each of those items would be a trust builder.” Trust grows when leaders are honest, consistent, responsible, humble, wise, and hard-working. Then I added a couple more trust builders to the list.
• Time. Trust doesn’t grow overnight. It takes time for others to get to know their leaders’ character and buy into their vision. A wise, experienced church leader once advised me, “The best years of your ministry will happen after year seven.” There are plenty of exceptions, but in general, leaders gain trust if they stick around and gain deeper understanding of the people over time.
• Endorsement. Trust grows at a faster rate if some already-respected individuals give new, lesser-known leaders their stamp of approval and encourage others to accept them. Barnabas did this for Saul/Paul (Acts 9:26-28), and Paul did it for others like Tychicus, Mark, and Epaphras (Colossians 4:7-13).
Trust is in short supply today. We need trustworthy leaders who “speak before God with sincerity” (2 Corinthians 2:17). Let’s make it our goal to be men and women of integrity who build trust and never betray it.
Personal Challenge: Think of a man or woman you consider a person of high integrity. What character qualities cause you to trust them? Do you think others consider you a trustworthy person? What could you do to build stronger bonds of trust with others in your circle of influence?
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David Faust’s new book, Not Too Old: Turning Your Later Years into Greater Years, was released April 10. It is available from College Press and Amazon. To read an article/excerpt from Not Too Old, click here.
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