By Brian Bolton
In the spring of 2018, I received an unexpected phone call from a friend who said, “Will you meet with my friend, Brad Rhoads, and hear about his marriage ministry? Just give him 30 minutes. I promise it’ll be worth your time.”
I’ll admit, I wasn’t excited. As a pastor, I often hear pitches for the latest ministry programs, and while many are good, they frequently feel like just another demand. But out of respect for my friend, I reluctantly agreed.
I didn’t know that this one conversation would completely transform how our church approaches marriage disciple-making. Today, I want to introduce you to Brad Rhoads, whose passion and vision have impacted my life, our church, and many marriages.
Brian Bolton (Interviewer): Brad, tell us about yourself. How did you transition from being a lawyer to leading a marriage ministry?
Brad Rhoads: My wife and I married in 1996, but within six months, she couldn’t stand me. God moved mightily in our marriage, transforming it completely. Over time, people began asking us to do their premarital counseling. We realized the need for more than just preparation or crisis intervention—there was a lack of ongoing discipleship. Recognizing this, God led me to leave my law practice and dedicate myself to equipping churches to serve couples more effectively.
Brian: What do you see in Christian marriages today? Do they look different from those in the world?
Brad: In many ways, they’re similar. Stagnancy and complacency plague many marriages. Many couples assume marriage will “work,” but this leads to one of two outcomes:
- Couples settle into a tolerable but stagnant norm.
- One or both partners become lonely and miserable, leading to separation or divorce.
The pastors I’ve spoken with tell me that only about 3-10% of marriages are growing, reflect the beauty of Jesus, and are worth emulating. The church has a tremendous opportunity to change this through intentional marriage discipleship.
Brian: Why is marriage the most crucial horizontal relationship?
Brad: Marriage is central to God’s design:
- God established marriage before the fall.
- It’s the foundation for raising children in the Lord.
- It reflects Christ’s relationship with the church (Ephesians 5).
- It’s woven throughout Scripture, ending with the wedding supper of the Lamb in Revelation.
When marriages thrive, couples are more effective in sharing the gospel. Conversely, stagnant marriages hinder the spread of the gospel.
Brian: How do unhealthy marriages impact the next generation?
Brad: Kids often replicate what they see. If they grow up in a stagnant or dysfunctional home, that frequently becomes their norm. However, when parents invest in their marriage, it sets a new standard. For example, my wife and I prioritize weekly date nights, and now my married daughter expects the same in her relationship. What children witness will often become their default.
Brian: What’s at the root of the marriage crisis in America?
Brad: First, marriage is under spiritual attack because it impacts everything—children, finances, and the church. One pastor put it best: “If marriage doesn’t work, nothing we do as a church works.”
Second, there’s complacency within the church. Most churches have dedicated youth and children’s ministries but do not have an ongoing marriage ministry. You can’t overcome family dysfunction with weekly programming alone. Strengthening marriages is key to creating healthy homes.
Brian: Can you explain the difference between child-centric and marriage-centric homes?
Brad: In a child-centric home, everything revolves around the kids, their sports, activities, and schedules. In a marriage-centric home, the husband-and-wife relationship is prioritized.
It helps children thrive when they see a strong marriage. If the home is child-centric, parents often struggle when the kids leave. Marriage is foundational—it’s “till death do us part,” while children are meant to leave and cleave to their spouse.
Brian: What challenges do pastors face in leading marriage ministry?
Brad: Pastors often face the same struggles as their congregation. Their busy schedules can strain their marriages, making it hard to model or cast a vision for vibrant marriages. I encourage pastors to prioritize their marriages. Then, marriage will flow more into their preaching and shape church culture.
Brian: What advice would you give pastors feeling overwhelmed by starting a marriage ministry?
Brad: Focus on discipleship, not just events. Events are helpful but should funnel couples into ongoing discipleship. Prevention is far better than crisis intervention. Build a marriage leadership team and equip them to help. Marriage ministry should not fall entirely on the pastor. The pastor’s role should be more vision-casting and encouragement.
Brian: How does Grace Marriage support churches?
Brad: At Grace Marriage, we make marriage discipleship simple and effective. We provide promotion strategies, videos, curriculum, and seven years of content. Currently, we partner with over 260 churches. Our goal is to remove the burden from churches and help them succeed. Churches can visit gracemarriage.com to learn more.
Brian: Thank you, Brad. Your ministry has made an enormous difference in our church.
Brad: Thank you, Brian. Your encouragement has meant so much. Never tire of doing good!
Brad and Marilyn Rhoads are the cofounders of Grace Marriage. Brian Bolton is senior pastor of CentrePoint Christian Church, Lexington, KY.
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