Church for introverts: How introverts describe their church experience
These quotes from real introverts were found on Internet forums and reflect common frustrations with loud environments, forced interaction, and narrow expectations for outreach. The voices below highlight how church culture can unintentionally discourage people who are not naturally gregarious.
- Forced “meet and greet” moments can feel stressful or dreaded.
- Loud services and pressure to share publicly can be draining and discouraging.
- Some introverts long for privacy and alternative ways to connect and serve.
These quotes from real introverts were found on Internet forums:
“I especially don’t like it when they say something like, ‘Say Jesus loves you to five people.’ I’m not saying Jesus doesn’t love five people, but I would rather say it on my own time.”
Danika from thinklings.org/b2commentspopup.php?p=1908&c=1
“Now turn around and greet someone” has been the most dreaded part of church service for me. That, and listening to our extrovert preacher imply that we’re not really walking the Christian walk unless we get out and meet strangers face-to-face, spreading the gospel. No other form of outreach is hailed as acceptable. There has been no mention of contacting others through the written word.
Anonymous from www.theintrovertzcoach.com/church_for_introverts.html#others
“Why do you condemn me because I don’t act like you do in church? . . . The Bible doesn’t give a formula for praise. . . . You preach love but you condemn people instead of sin. You preach power but are unable to discern my love for God even if I’m not an extrovert.”
Eric from www.skippinchurch.com
“I’ve avoided churches for a great deal of my life because of the fact that all of the churches I ever get invited to, or end up visiting, are so loud and somewhat violating that I’m not encouraged to go again. I always felt kind of bad about it”—“I’d really like spirituality, and I think I’d enjoy going to church if it wasn’t such a drain. I enjoy my anonymity, but whenever I went to a church, it was all about who you were, and what you were there for, and I felt like all they wanted was for me to put my soul on the table and wheel it around for all to see. There was no privacy. . . . I actually felt kind of dirty afterward. Lately, I’ve been thinking about trying to go again, but I’m afraid of another bad experience. Eek!”
Anonymous from www.theintrovertzcoach.com/church_for_introverts.html#others
“If church is about being with people, how does it restore introverts?”
Steve at smallritual.blogs.com/small_ritual/
“There was just one problem with the church! At the end of the song services, the pastor would always tell the congregation, ‘Turn around and shake hands with someone, or if you’re a woman, give another woman a hug.’ . . . . There was this one woman that went all over the place giving these big bear hugs to everyone, man or woman. I got to where I would check out where she was sitting and make sure I was a long way away from her. But it didn’t seem to matter where I sat”—she still seemed to end up over where I was and give me one of those smothering hugs. The church was great except for all that hugging business.”
Deb Matthews, True Christian Stories at www.debauthor.com
“There are a lot of people who get that outsider feeling in their very own parishes every Sunday, simply because they’re not naturally gregarious, simply because they aren’t effusive people by nature, simply because”—just like their more outgoing fellow parishioners“—they reflect their personalities in the practice of their faith.”
Author: Christian Standard
Contact us at **@********************ia.com
