Healing Lonely Hearts: A Biblical Perspective on Today’s Loneliness Epidemic

By David Faust

Who comes to mind when you think of loneliness? Aging widows? Prisoners locked in solitary confinement? A second grader sitting alone in the school cafeteria? A single mom? A truck driver who spends his nights on the road? A college student, soldier, or missionary living far from home?  

The humorist Erma Bombeck wrote, “We all know what loneliness feels like. It’s sleeping in the middle of the bed. It’s eating an omelet by yourself and the more of it you eat, the bigger it gets. It’s not talking all day and saying something dumb just to see if your voice still works.”  

Church leaders aren’t immune. Loneliness assails us when we must preach about uncomfortable subjects, confront complex problems, or quietly bear the daily pressure of our “concern for all the churches” (2 Corinthians 11:28, New International Version).  

For a significant number of people, loneliness causes excruciating pain and tests the limits of their endurance. According to Pew Research Center findings published in 2025, about one-in-six Americans say they feel lonely or isolated from others all or most of the time. In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy released a report titled, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.” The report linked loneliness to greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. The report also addressed the healing effects of social connection and community.  

When I ministered with a church in New York, I felt lonely on the subway. Looking at others in that crowded city, I detected signs of loneliness on their faces as well, and I realized loneliness isn’t the same as being alone. You can be by yourself and not feel lonely at all, and you can be lonely in the midst of a crowd. 

Loneliness in the Bible  

Someone wryly observed that in the Garden of Eden, Adam never had to stand in line. At mealtime he always got the first serving. There was no one to argue with. No one to use up all the hot water. No traffic to get in his way. No line at the grocery store. But all was not well. Previously God declared his creative work “very good,” but he looked at Adam and said it wasn’t good for him to be alone. From the beginning, we were designed to live in community with others.  

Joseph came from a big family with 11 brothers, but he must have felt lonely when those brothers sold him as a slave.  

After killing an Egyptian, Moses fled to a lonely desert in Midian where he tended sheep for 40 years. Then he experienced a different kind of loneliness as he led the Hebrews toward the promised land, gave them God’s Law, and watched them break it time after time. Even his brother and sister, Aaron and Miriam, complained and rebelled. Lonely and frustrated, Moses told the Lord, “I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me” (Numbers 11:14).  

David was a public hero after killing Goliath, but King Saul treated him like Public Enemy Number One, and David ran for his life and hid in caves. Jonah spent three terrifying days alone in the belly of a great fish. Daniel’s devotion to God put him in a lonely lion’s den. The orphan Esther surely felt lonely when her mom and dad died. And when she grew up and became queen, she faced the lonely, daunting task of confronting the king, with the survival of the Jewish people resting on her shoulders.  

John the Baptist lived in the wilderness—close to nature and close to God, but far from the crowds. And when the crowds came, John’s bold preaching riled King Herod so much that he sentenced John to jail and ordered his head served up on a platter. The apostle Paul spent lonely days in prison, and as death approached, he wrote, “Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me . . . . Only Luke is with me” (2 Timothy 4:10-11). John spent time in exile—banished to the lonely island of Patmos.  

The Bible’s most striking example of loneliness is the Son of God himself. Jesus spent quiet nights praying alone in the mountains. Soon after he fed the 5,000 and preached a challenging sermon on the Bread of Life, most of the crowd abandoned him. The Pharisees criticized his every move. Judas betrayed him for the price of a slave. Peter denied him three times. In the Garden of Gethsemane, his friends fell asleep while he prayed in agony. And on the cross, Jesus quoted Psalm 22 and cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” No one understands loneliness better than Jesus does.  

How Should We Handle Loneliness?  

The triune God reveals himself in relational terms (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), and his greatest commandments (love God, love your neighbors) are relational at the core. If anyone should be well-equipped to respond to the loneliness epidemic, it’s the church. The body of Christ is designed to be an inter-generational, multi-ethnic, missional family where every person matters and everyone has a job to do . . . where it’s safe to admit our weaknesses and struggles . . . where we find strength in community as we rejoice, grow, suffer, and serve together.  

Here are four ideas that can help in the struggle with loneliness. 

Some loneliness is self-imposed. Don’t isolate yourself. 

Because we are created in God’s image, we are hard-wired for relationships. But relationships require intentionality. Sometimes we wallow in self-imposed isolation because reaching out requires too much effort. 

Weary after his mountaintop victory over the prophets of Baal, Elijah wallowed in self-pity and prayed that he would die, telling the Lord, “I am the only one left!” (1 Kings 19:10). But after sleep, food, and drink refreshed him, Elijah heard the Lord’s quiet whisper sending him back into service. God still had “seven thousand in Israel . . . whose knees [had] not bowed down to Baal” (vv. 11-18). And God provided a younger man, Elisha, to be Elijah’s coworker (vv. 19-21).  

Remember these wise observations?  

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, New Living Translation). 

Some loneliness is unavoidable, but let’s not bring unnecessary loneliness on ourselves. The risky road of connection is better than the “safer” path of isolation. 

The Lord is with you in lonely times. Recognize and welcome his presence.  

God’s omnipresence isn’t an abstract theological concept. David made it personal when he wrote, “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise . . . . You discern my going out and my lying down. . . . Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?” (Psalm 139:3-7, NIV).  

When Daniel’s friends Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were thrown into the fiery furnace, the king saw a fourth person with them. They weren’t alone in the fire. 

During a dark ministry season in Corinth, “One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: ‘Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city’” (Acts 18:9-10). 

Along with his vision-stretching command to make disciples of all nations, Jesus added a reassuring promise: “I will be with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). The Lord even walks with us through the valley of the shadow of death (see Psalm 23:4).  

The ultimate healing for lonely hearts won’t take place until the Lord dwells with his people in the new heaven and new earth, where “God himself will be with them and be their God” (Revelation 21:3). Until the consummation of that promise, “God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’” (Hebrews 13:5). 

The Lord doesn’t waste your lonely moments. Make sure you don’t! 

In Midian’s lonely wilderness, Moses learned how to navigate through the very desert where he would lead his people to the promised land.  

Isolated in caves, David learned humility that would make him a better king, and he wrote Psalms that have blessed God’s people for thousands of years.  

In lonely prison cells, Paul wrote life-changing letters.  

In exile on the island of Patmos, John wrote the book of Revelation. 

Before they become professional basketball players, NBA stars spend countless hours alone in the gym after everyone else has gone home. A preacher whose sermon touches your heart has spent many hours alone at his desk in study and prayer.  God can use your lonely moments to build your character and prepare you for fruitful service.  

You can help others who are lonely. Notice them, and reach out. 

What lonely people live in your community?  

Do international students attend a nearby university? Invite them to your home for dinner. Are you an older Christian? Take the initiative to build friendships with younger members of your church. Do you know someone who lives in a nursing home or a rehabilitation center? Does a kid in your church’s youth group need a friend? It pleases God when we “look after orphans and widows in their distress” (James 1:27). Be a blessing to others who are lonely, and often they will become a blessing to you. 

And don’t neglect single adults. Neither Jesus nor the apostle Paul were married, but they both built strong networks of colleagues and coworkers. My friend Dr. Ward Patterson never married, but he traveled the world on a motorcycle, collected archaeological treasures, led a campus ministry at Indiana University, wrote books and magazine articles, and taught communication courses at Cincinnati Christian University. Another single friend, Dr. Eleanor Daniel, served as academic dean of both Cincinnati Bible Seminary and Emmanuel Christian Seminary. Singles have much to offer God’s kingdom, and we miss a lot if we don’t include them in our circles of friendship.  

In a world marked by isolation and digital disconnection, Christ offers a kind of belonging that transcends superficial social ties. He calls his church to be an authentic Spirit-led community where lonely hearts find companionship in our struggles and joys—where Christian fellowship (koinonia) transforms solitude into sacred relationships. 

Let the healing begin. 

David Faust is a contributing editor and columnist for Christian Standard and Senior Associate Minister with East 91^st Street Christian Church, Indianapolis, Indiana.