Church Confidentiality: Balancing Care, Accountability, and Community
Tim Woodroof and Leland Vickers examine how church leaders should approach confidentiality when members seek spiritual counsel. They argue that biblical community, accountability, and shared leadership require a balanced approach rather than promises of absolute secrecy.
- The article challenges assumptions about absolute confidentiality in church leadership.
- Biblical community and accountability require leaders to seek wisdom and involve others when appropriate.
- A written confidentiality policy can help establish healthy expectations for leaders and church members.
By Tim Woodroof and Leland Vickers
You are serving as an elder (or minister, volunteer leader, Bible class teacher, or pastor) for your local congregation and you are approached on Sunday by a longtime member—let’s call her Susan—who says she would like to talk with you about a “personal problem.”
You agree to meet her for coffee, but Susan prefaces her discussion with a request, “This must stay only between the two of us. Can we agree that our discussion be completely confidential?”
What is your response?
The current church culture leads people to assume they have the right to absolute confidentiality when approaching a church leader with a problem. That assumption isolates leaders, forces us to make solitary decisions that may have churchwide implications, and cuts us off from some of the most significant resources and safeguards God gives us as leaders of his church.
This article intends to challenge that assumption. We will propose it is valuable to have a written policy that applies to elders, ministerial staff, and designated counseling volunteers who are approached by members of your church family during times of marriage, family, and personal stress.
This policy would give guidance and set expectations for how we, as church leaders, interact with people (particularly our own members) who come to us with spiritual, emotional, or relational needs.
To what extent are leaders bound by the expectation of confidentiality? Let’s start with a theological background, and then we will propose the wording of a policy statement.
Background
The church is a transformational community, powered by the Holy Spirit, equipping people to live holy lives. That requires the church to be involved not only with teaching and training for godliness, but in walking redemptively with people in their failure and brokenness. As leaders, we welcome the opportunity to help those who are struggling spiritually, emotionally, or relationally. Failure and crisis are our best opportunities for effecting real and lasting changes in the lives of disciples.
That said, the church is not a counseling clinic or a support group or a crisis hotline. We operate differently. We have different tools and resources to bring to bear.
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, our weapons have divine power to demolish strongholds. We destroy arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:3-5).
Community
…
Accountability
…
If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you… (Matthew 18:15-17).
Plurality
…
I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven… For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them (Matthew 18:18-20).
Infringing on the Principles
The assumption and expectation of confidentiality infringes on each of the above principles. If we cannot speak to others about the struggles and sins of those who come to us, we cannot (1) put the needs of the community first, (2) use the community to effect repentance and change, (3) consult with one another about the best course of action, and (4) use the resources God has given the church to bring healing and growth. When both the community and the individual are committed to the highest good of transformation to glorify God, there is no conflict between an individual’s needs and the needs of the community.
Tim Woodroof is senior minister with the Otter Creek Church of Christ in Brentwood, Tennessee… Leland Vickers served as an elder with the Otter Creek church…
See Related Articles
- Policy on Confidentiality (a Proposal)
- Your Church’s Confidentiality Policy — Douglas A. Spears
- Confidentiality in a Counseling Setting — Doug McCulley
