By Eddie Lowen “Can I speak to you, confidentially?” A church leader is asked some form of this question at least several times a year. Normally it comes from within the church, but it can also be voiced by nonattendees. For relationally gifted leaders with a pastoral bent, requests for confidential conversations are more frequent. The most important response to a request for confidentiality is the initial one. Many church leaders feel an ethical or pastoral obligation to grant the request without qualification. With no clue about what will be reported or confessed, many church leaders indiscriminately reply by saying,