Recommended books for resolving conflict
These book recommendations highlight practical, Scripture-shaped guidance for handling personal and church conflict. The titles below focus on peacemaking, effective dialogue, and healthy leadership through tense situations.
- Resources for personal conflict that emphasize unity, forgiveness, and openness.
- Conversation tools for high-stakes dialogue when people feel unsafe.
- Guides for church leaders navigating congregational conflict and anxious systems.
By Royce Money, with Joe L. Cope and Charles Siburt
Personal conflict and conversation
The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict by Ken Sande (Baker Books).
Sande, founder and president of Peacemaker Ministries, clearly outlines the responsibilities of Christians in handling personal conflict. Through Scripture and helpful teaching tools, the book invites readers to examine themselves and to commit to the pursuit of unity and harmony.
The Peacemaker is also an invaluable resource to preachers, teachers, and counselors who are seeking ways to lead others to a life of forgiveness and openness.
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler (McGraw-Hill).
This book concentrates on providing the reader with proven skills for effective dialogue. A central premise is that people avoid conversations if either the subject matter, the environment, or the other party challenges their feeling of safety. By directly addressing that fear, the authors equip individuals to move forward.
Stressing preparation, the book suggests ways individuals can talk about their feelings to invite understanding. Even the strongest positions can be conveyed in a way that is neither abrasive nor destructive to a relationship.
Church conflict and leadership
Making Peace: A Guide to Overcoming Church Conflict by Jim Van Yperin (Moody).
Van Yperin centers on the importance of the lordship of Christ as the focus of the answers for peace in the church. By giving glimpses into the origin of conflict in churches and their eventual move away from health, he alerts church leaders to the dangers. Yet, in keeping with the promises of Scripture, Van Yperin encourages us all to move forward to a deeper, more meaningful relationship with God both personally and as a church body.
Also helpful for church leaders are the following titles.
Managing Church Conflict by Hugh F. Halverstadt (Westminster/John Knox)—Halverstadt increases our awareness of our theological assumptions about conflict and offers a practical model for five intervention strategies.
Conflict Management in Congregations edited by David Lott (The Alban Institute)—this collection of brief essays by experienced and skilled church consultants offers useful insights into the causes, dynamics, and strategies for managing church conflicts.
Healthy Congregations by Peter Steinke (The Alban Institute)—Steinke applies the insights of family systems theory to congregational families and offers powerful wisdom about how to deal with anxious church people.
Firestorm: Preventing and Overcoming Church Conflicts by Ron Susek (Baker Books)—Susek compares church conflicts with firestorms that begin with a spark and escalate into a raging fire while offering suggestions for how to control the fire.
