Articles for tag: Church Conflict

November 1, 2021

Don Wilson

Ministry Mistakes

By Don Wilson In more than 50 years of ministry, I’m not sure I have ever gone to a conference where speakers shared their greatest leadership failures and mistakes. I have, however, been to many conferences where pastors and leaders shared their greatest ministry success stories. If we are not careful, we unknowingly can discourage pastors who feel like failures because they don’t experience similar successes. I want to share four of my mistakes in ministry—and what I have learned from them—in the hope it will encourage others. Mistake No. 1: Believing All Church Leaders Want Their Church to Grow

January 29, 2019

Christian Standard

A Call to Church Leaders: How to Overcome Pharisaism in the 21st-Century Church

By Jeffrey Derico Two critical challenges facing churches and their leaders today are to identify hurdles that undermine relevant ministry and then to eliminate them. The stakes are high because failure to overcome either hurdle will result in countless people never hearing the gospel, and eventually that church will permanently close its doors—and neither of these are acceptable outcomes. Yet both are becoming more common as churches across America struggle to effectively live out the Great Commission and then decline to the point they can no longer afford to pay the bills. During nearly two decades of teaching and consulting

October 26, 2018

Christian Standard

Elders Chart the Path Forward

E2: Effective Elders Blog Editor’s Note: Each Friday we publish a new blog post from our partners in ministry, E2: Effective Elders. We publish it here simultaneous to E2’s posting on their site. The leaders of E2 write an article for our print and online magazine every month as well. Those articles are full of wisdom and practical help for elders. Please check them out! _____ By Rick Grover Over the past six years, our congregation has gone through more than its fair share of change, disappointment, loss, and now renewal. And through it all, our elders have remained united. We

September 28, 2016

Christian Standard

Beware of Spiritual Riptides

By Jim Tune Paul (not his real name) had seen pastors attacked. He pledged he would always do what he could to protect his pastor. A few years later, that pastor agreed with a decision to close a program that Paul”s wife led. Paul stepped down from leadership and stewed against the pastor. He began to entertain gossip and went through a spiritually dry period. Years later, he rejoined leadership and was part of the decision to end the pastor”s tenure. He still nurses a grudge today. Paul had good intentions but found himself swept away. He ended up feeling

January 24, 2016

Christian Standard

Protecting Your PK

By Angela Sanders I am a minister”s wife. I have the scars to prove it, but my children don”t. Not because they didn”t see. Not because they didn”t hear. Not because we lied to them. We didn”t. Hunter and Hope came through an enemy attack on their family by church members with their optimism, faith, and desire to serve the body intact. This was possible only because a few who had successfully waded through the murky waters of vocational ministry ahead of us were selfless enough to take us by the hand and teach us to survive and thrive””and maintain

January 19, 2015

Christian Standard

Carpet Splitting

By Brian Jennings As a young man still in Bible college, Chuck Thomas was invited to preach at First Christian Church in Gotebo, Oklahoma. The church was searching for a new preacher. Chuck accepted, and drove to the small town the following Sunday. Chuck noticed the church (both the building and the people) seemed split down the middle. Both sides had their own Communion table, and their own elders, who separately prayed and served their half of the congregation. This strange division bewildered Chuck and his wife, Anita. A friendly family invited them over for Sunday lunch. After eating, Chuck

September 22, 2014

Christian Standard

Knowing When to Leave

By Mike Shannon One of our greatest problems in life is trying to make godly and wise decisions. We are so desperate to do the right thing that we often lapse into an almost superstitious view of trying to discern the will of God.  I don”t know about you, but I have often had to make decisions when I was not certain what God wanted me to do. Sometimes I thought I was certain, but later had to reconsider. Nowhere is this tension felt more acutely than when we are trying to decide whether or not to stay at a

July 19, 2014

Christian Standard

Their Prison, My Freedom

By Dick Alexander (From our series “The Best or Worst Advice I”ve Ever Received.”) I was in the middle of a long period of what seemed like relentless attack from people in a church I served, when a friend advised me my critics were not the enemy, but prisoners of the enemy. It set me free””free from we-they polarization. Free from choosing sides. Free to see them with compassion. The harshest critics were prisoners. In general, they didn”t enjoy life. They were prisoners of bitterness, anger, and unresolved past hurts. His advice, the best advice I”ve received, set me free

July 19, 2014

Christian Standard

Intentional About Intentions

By Matt Proctor (From our series “The Best or Worst Advice I”ve Ever Received.”) I worked for a time at Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, and in a talk with church staff, senior minister Bob Russell once described the inevitability of conflict, “We”re not always going to get along. Someone said, “˜Where two or three are gathered in my name . . . there”s going to be an argument.”” He then pointed out the human tendency, in the midst of conflict, to suspect the worst about the other person. We assume their motives are malicious, or at least less-than-trustworthy.

August 12, 2013

Christian Standard

What about the Preacher”s Family?

By Dennis Bratton Fifty percent of preachers” marriages will end in divorce. Eighty percent of preachers believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Thirty-three percent say being in the ministry is an outright hazard to their family. Local churches can change this picture. Here are some simple ideas any congregation can follow to make sure their preacher”s family is an example for every family. Preachers live in a continuum of unfinished tasks. At the end of nearly every day, the preacher can think of calls he needs to return, a sermon or lesson he needs to write, someone who requires a personal visit,

April 7, 2013

Christian Standard

When Conflict Comes Home

By Tom Lawson So, how do you keep church conflict from impacting your home life? The short answer is you can”t. If you”re in church leadership, serious church conflict will, in various ways, impact your family life. Church leaders, however, are not alone in this. Nearly all employed adults in America experience tensions and conflicts in their workplace that, at times, spill over to impact their home life. Church conflicts have characteristics of both workplace conflicts and family feuds. They can be conflicts over power, programs, strategic direction, allocation of resources, and dysfunctional patterns of corporate communication. And some church

August 2, 2012

Christian Standard

What Do You Say about Church Music?

By Randy Gariss Within the American church, few topics have brought out more absurdity, immaturity, and blind passion than the discussion of “what shall the music in our worship services be like?” Of course, there are exceptions, but if one listens to the discussion in blogs, small groups, church hallways, and around Christian family dinner tables, let”s just say our finest behavior is seldom on display when we are discussing worship music. Why has the style of music in a worship service been such a lightning rod for disagreement? What has caused this issue to tower over the landscape of

June 20, 2012

Christian Standard

A Young Minister”s Heartbreak

By Darrel Rowland At 38, Jon Weece, senior pastor of Southland Christian Christ in Lexington, Kentucky, is one of the younger leaders of our megachurches. But listen to him speak his heart with the wisdom of years on why long-term ministries can be so difficult:   I fear what our limited metrics do to many faithful servants in the kingdom. For those servant leaders who are experiencing explosive numeric growth in the ministries they”ve been entrusted with, I fear a loss of humility may visit their hearts. For those servant leaders who are not experiencing explosive numeric growth in the

January 30, 2012

Christian Standard

A Preacher”s Kid”s Hopes for His Own PKs

By Shan Caldwell I was born a preacher”s son. As such, I felt it was my duty to help my dad out as much as I could. I thoughtfully provided sermon illustration fodder for the first 16 years of my life. I enlivened dull sermons by whispering or passing notes, obliging my father to interrupt his message by calling me out””by name””in front of the whole congregation. My dad may not have always appreciated my “help,” but I did (and do) appreciate growing up in a preacher”s family. My dad traveled in evangelistic work for the first six years of

June 27, 2010

Christian Standard

Evangelize Unreached Teenagers? (It Can Be Dangerous)

By Rick Bundschuh Call me naive, call me ignorant, call me idealistic””but I honestly believed the church”s search committee members when they said one of the goals they had for the new middle school youth ministry position they were creating was to have evangelism take place among young people. Perhaps we were talking past each other and agreeing to very different things when they hired me for my first youth ministry job outside my home church. Perhaps they were envisioning a small trickle of smartly dressed honor students entering the kingdom of God and finding its way to the front

December 23, 2008

Christian Standard

A Picture of the Elders in Our Churches, Part Two

By Mark A. Taylor “Thanks, CHRISTIAN STANDARD, for being there,” one reader responded to our Year of the Elder survey published September 24. His comment was one of hundreds to support the conclusion in my first report on this survey two weeks ago: one year of articles for elders is not enough. About 400 of 600 respondents took time to give their specific answer to the question “What would help our elders do a better job?” Their replies indicate several ongoing needs among elders in our churches. Elders are facing””and sometimes failing to handle””conflict. Some replies show how disharmony is

August 10, 2008

Christian Standard

Where the Administrative Buck Stops

By LeRoy Lawson “Oh, we”re all equal. It”s just that Roy is more equal than we are.” That was how Rex Dernovich described the relationship between elders and senior minister in Central Christian Church. The ministers at the Phoenix-area meeting might have thought he was joking, but he wasn”t. The elder chairman”s quip goes to the heart of what attracted me to accept Central”s call in 1979. The eldership had carefully thought through the leadership issue that rips apart too many churches, and decided they needed a minister who, as they said, can “lead us to become the flagship church

September 30, 2007

Christian Standard

You Can Manage Conflict

By Barney Wells To live above With the saints we love, Ah, that will be glory.     To live below With the ones we know, That”s a different story.     Many preachers have quoted that little poem over the years, and most of us understand its sentiment. While it certainly is pleasant for brothers to “live together in unity” (Psalm 133:1), it seems inevitable they will sometimes live in conflict. This article shares some of what one smaller rural church has learned about preventing, intervening in, and resolving conflict. Since 1889, the Walnut Grove Christian Church has met

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