Church Conferences: What Two Gatherings Revealed About Us
A speaker attends two very different religious conferences and notices how quickly men signal belonging through clothes, trends, and certainty. Despite the contrasts, both gatherings share the same worries about the church’s future. The quiet, faithful presence of wives beside their husbands becomes the most striking witness.
- Two very different conference cultures can sound surprisingly alike.
- Men often validate themselves through belonging, credentials, and certainty.
- Wives’ steady grace and presence quietly testify to love.
Two Conferences, Two Uniforms
I recently attended two religious conferences. At one, men wore light suits with white shirts and pale ties. More than one was wearing walking shoes with Velcro closures. Hair, when present, was gray or white.
Many at the venerable conference spoke in absolute terms. They talked of great orators and their aging Bible college buddies. They made frequent reference to the loss of regard for the Bible and the tried-and-true worship they love. They lamented that if things don’t change, the church is in big trouble.
At the second conference the men wore Hawaiian shirts with stone-washed jeans and flip-flops. Hair, when present, was spiked at odd angles. Many sported goatees or that little strip of beard beneath the lower lip called a “soul patch.”
Many at the brand-new conference spoke in absolute terms. The attendees talked of the need to bring the Bible alive to audiences. They spoke of the trendiest worship ideas and the hottest new preaching series. They lamented that if things don’t change, the church is in big trouble.
The Women We Overlook
There were women at both conferences. At one they wore print dresses, while at the other they wore Capri pants and knit tops. At both they were largely ignored—by their husbands, by the program, and by just about everyone within five miles of the conference center.
The exhibitors tended to look the same at both conferences, like tired seventh-graders trapped in an afternoon study hall. The few children at either conference looked absolutely desperate.
What Love Looks Like in the Aisle Seat
During both events I had to chuckle. We men take ourselves so seriously. We credential ourselves through attendance at these conferences and signal our belonging with our light suits or our Hawaiian shirts. We validate our vocational achievements with somber tones and knowing nods.
And our wives? Well, they just put up with it all. With large doses of grace and mercy, they sit with us right through the workshops, main sessions, and all of our attempts to be somebody. I am pretty sure that is what you call love.
Both conferences will be held again next year. There will be displays and registration tables and book sales and well-known speakers. Men will once again talk about the state of the church with knowing nods and furtive glances. And at their sides—all of those loving wives.
And so it goes.
Author: Christian Standard
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