29 March, 2024

Leading People Toward Redemption and Restoration (Part 2)

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by | 23 May, 2010 | 0 comments

By Ken Swatman

Read part 1 of this 3-part series



“He that falls into sin is a man; that grieves at it, is a saint; that boasteth of it, is a devil.”
“”Thomas Fuller, The Holy State and the Profane State



On the Day of Pentecost, Peter stood before the thousands who had gathered and confronted them about two great truths: that Jesus was indeed the Son of God and that they had sinned against Jesus. When the people heard Peter”s confrontational words, they were “cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “˜Brothers, what shall we do?” Peter replied, “˜Repent and be baptized”” (Acts 2:37, 38).

As pastors and leaders, we are often called to help people navigate the deep waters of personal sin. We are called to love people, confront sin, and lead them through the process of repentance, redemption, and restoration.

Previously we looked at the practical issues surrounding the confrontation of sin in a way that provides healthy boundaries and the best possible opportunity for full restoration for everyone involved. Once the confrontation has taken place, outcomes determined, and boundaries set, it is time to call for and lead toward repentance.

True repentance is hard to measure and can only extend from the work of the Holy Spirit in the heart of a sinner. Repentance cannot be demanded or taught. However, we can help navigate people through the principles of repentance, model its character, and identify its fruit.

Simply defined, repentance is a movement toward a change in understanding. Repentance is both an immediate response and a long-term process, and is characterized by a change of heart, mind, and behavior. It is understanding and adopting God”s will for our thoughts, intentions, and actions, and then surrendering our lives to his will.

Leading Toward Repentance
Repentance begins as an expected outcome of the confrontation. During the confrontation stage of the restoration process, the counselor should identify and communicate expected outcomes, such as boundaries, ministry and leadership relationships, and the need for repentance. At the end of every confrontation, clearly communicate the need and value of repentance and extend an invitation to begin the process.

At this stage it is important to identify the process of repentance as exactly that, a process. A change of heart, mind, and behavior is not often an immediate response, and if it is, it is not often long lived.

Sorrow or guilt should not be mistaken for repentance. While admitting a wrong is an initial step in repentance, it is often fueled by emotions like guilt and shame, defensiveness, and even relief that sin is finally exposed. True repentance is characterized by a personal admission of wrongdoing and an ownership of the hurt caused to another.

Again, this may take time. Often the initial hurt, shame, and exposure of a person confronted by his sin may make it difficult for him to identify or express a deep repentance. Be patient, communicate the value and process of repentance clearly, and allow the time and opportunity for the Spirit to work.

I have had confrontations that initially produced anger, resentment, and resistance to repentance. Days or weeks later, the individual returned to the process in authentic humility and repentance.

I have also had times when people confronted with their sin have refused to acknowledge fault, own the hurt they have caused, or accept healthy boundaries. When this is the response, prayerfully follow the process found in Matthew 18:15-17. At all times the boundaries should be communicated and enforced, but some people need time for the hard shell of anger and shame to be peeled away before they are ready to respond.

The Fruit of Repentance
When leading someone through the process of redemption, look for three basic characteristics, or fruits, of repentance. These external fruits demonstrate internal change and provide a framework for growth and restoration.

A humble commitment to God”s Word and instruction“”Since repentance is a movement toward adopting as true the will and instructions of God for our lives, it makes sense that a commitment to studying and applying the Word of God be part of the repentance process.

As a person begins this process, he or she needs to be in a specially designed small group or discipleship relationship that intentionally looks at present sinful values and seeks to see them transformed in the light of God”s Word. A willingness to enter into and follow through on a commitment to intentional discipleship and personal study will further develop and demonstrate a heart of repentance.

Adherence to boundaries and authority“”During the confrontation process, specific behavioral, relational, and ministerial boundaries should have been put in place. Adherence to those boundaries should be a constant and measurable part of the repentance process. Humble adherence to boundaries and authority demonstrates acceptance and ownership of personal sin and the harm caused to others. As work toward restoration continues, boundaries will need to be adjusted and even removed, but great care and prayer should guide this process.

Demonstrating a long-term willingness to accept and adhere to appropriate boundaries will go a long way toward creating an environment where redemption and restoration can take place. Remember that those who have been offended and hurt by the sins of another should not be forced or asked to release boundaries that provide for their safety, healing, and growth.

A willingness to make amends“”Making amends is not seeking to make everything better. It is an attempt to communicate ownership of sin”s devastating effect on others and to effectively communicate a heart of repentance. The goal is not to intentionally punish the offender, but to create a willingness to respond appropriately to those who have been offended by the sin.

Making amends can include apologies, reparations, and self-imposed restrictions or boundaries. Are there financial or legal obligations to the offended? Does a public or private apology need to be made? (Again, don”t force the offended party to accept or even allow an apology.) What role does the offended have in setting boundaries and determining consequences for the one who has offended?

Making amends also includes appropriately responding to the social and relational effects of our sin. Let”s face it, we, as a culture like to remind people of their sins and failures. When the person who has caused the offense accepts these criticisms with humility””not becoming defensive, or worse, offensive””they are in fact making amends for their behavior.

The appropriate scope of the amends (Who should receive amends? What should the amends include?) will vary in each situation. There may be multiple people or groups, including children, a spouse, or a congregation, that need to be considered in this process.

Repentance is, at the same time, the immediate acceptance of wrong values and sinful behaviors and the long-term process of adopting new values in line with God”s Word and will. The repentance process is led by the Holy Spirit and guided by godly men and women who understand that God desires all his children to be redeemed, reconciled, and restored, and to live in right relationship with him and with each other.

Next Week, Part 3 of 3 parts: New Beginnings in Christ




Ken Swatman is senior pastor with Oregon City (Oregon) Christian Church. He served as a police and fire chaplain for six years and is certified in crisis intervention and stress management.

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