Family &amp; Relationships

Boys to Men

By Rick Bundschuh Manhood, inaccurately portrayed and difficult to understand by so many today, is especially hard for many preteen males to attain. Here”s how one Christian leader not only worked to make his church man friendly, but also created a program to show boys how to be godly men.Â I could sense the longing immediately. The kid was around 12, had bed head hair, was awkward, somewhat unkempt, and was beginning to exchange baby fat for the sinewy muscles of coming manhood. All I had done was to make a couple of jokes with the boy, and then showed

January 24, 2016

Protecting Your PK

By Angela Sanders I am a minister”s wife. I have the scars to prove it, but my children don”t. Not because they didn”t see. Not because they didn”t hear. Not because we lied to them. We didn”t. Hunter and Hope came through an enemy attack on their family by church members with their optimism, faith, and desire to serve the body intact. This was possible only because a few who had successfully waded through the murky waters of vocational ministry ahead of us were selfless enough to take us by the hand and teach us to survive and thrive””and maintain

January 23, 2016

Birth Days, Death Days

By Chris Travis I”ll never forget the day my wife, Lindsay, called me at the office and told me she was pregnant. I had dreamed about this moment. She texted a photo of the pregnancy test, and seeing those two little pink lines felt like Christmas morning. It felt like being in love! I”ll never forget that first ultrasound: those tiny hands and that tiny profile and that tiny heart puffing away. It took my breath away. We had a hilarious plan for how we would surprise our parents. We live in New York City (we moved here to help

January 18, 2016

Finding Favour

By Justin Horey Kirk Bolen likes to run marathons. It”s a goodÂ thing he does, because his family”s adoption journey lasted four years andÂ required more than 15,000 miles of international travel. Kirk and his wife, Amanda, didn”t plan to adopt. Kirk is a worship leader at Mountain Christian Church in Joppa, Maryland, and the couple has two biological sons: Asher, 7, and Eamon, 4. Around the time their second son was born, Kirk went to Uganda on a short-term mission trip with World Vision. While there, he took note of all the needy children he saw. Kirk recalls, “Everywhere we went,

January 17, 2016

10 Ways to Support Orphans Without Adopting

By Danielle Hance We have all seen the dismal images of bellies bloated by malnourishment. We have cried at pictures of shoeless children and children who are smaller than healthy children half their age. According to UNICEF, there are more than 150 million orphans worldwide. What can we do to make a dent in such a large number? Some people respond by adopting an orphan. While that is a noble calling, not everyone can do this. But most of us can live out the call “to look after orphans and widows in their distress” (James 1:27). Here are 10 ways

January 16, 2016

Thanks to the Parents Who Chose Me

By Dick Alexander From my earliest memories, I”ve known I was adopted,Â and I”ve always been grateful. When I was turning a year old, the doctor who delivered me, and who also was my adoptive family”s doctor, told my mother-to-be that he knew of a baby in foster care needing a permanent home. Otherwise the child would likely be sent to an orphanage. My father-to-be was 41 at the time, and Mom was 37″”both considered old to be starting a family back in that day. When I was old enough to understand, Mom told me with a laugh how the adoption

January 15, 2016

Faithful Families of the Fatherless

By Justin Horey Hundreds of thousands of children in America are living away from their parents, desperately in need of a family to keep and care for them. Many Christians have seen the need. Here are some of their stories. Alone and afraid, seated on a chair in the unwelcoming waiting room of a government office, holding a small plastic bag filled with a few personal belongings (or, worse, holding nothing at all). This is not the picture of an international refugee; this is how life in America”s foster system begins for thousands of children every year. Tom and Peggy

January 9, 2016

Equipping Parents to Lead Their Family

By Brian Jennings Most scholars agree that Hannah brought Samuel, her son, to the temple around the age of 3 or 4. Even though Samuel was a boy, 1 Samuel 1:28 says, “He worshiped.” Even children can worship, but is the church equippingÂ parents to lead their children to worship? If you are a parent, the sacred responsibility of spiritually leading your children rests primarily on your shoulders. However, life wars against your ability to lead your family well. Busyness wars against you. Frustration wars against you. Stress wars against you. Self-doubt wars against you. Laziness wars against you. Past failure

January 8, 2016

Parenting Resources for Christians and Their Leaders

This list of parenting resources is a sidebar to Peter Buckland’s article, “Parents Are Primary.” ________ By Peter Buckland FOR PARENTS Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality: A Biblical Approach to Prepare Them for Life, by Jim Burns (Bloomington: Bethany House, 2008) This book provides valuable information for Christian parents regarding the sexual information that children need to know and how the biblical sexual ethic may be presented to them. SOS Help for Emotions: Managing Anxiety, Anger, and Depression, by Lynn Clark (Bowling Green: SOS Programs and Parent Press, revised in 2014) Practical steps are provided that enable parents to help

January 8, 2016

Parents Are Primary

Click here for a list of parenting resources ________ By Peter Buckland All too often, parents assume the church is responsible for the spiritual formation of their children. This assumption is a mistake. It is the parents” responsibility to train their children to know and love Jesus. Whether parents are biological, step, foster, grandparents, or temporary parental substitutes1, they do a better job of prompting childhood and adolescent faith in Christ than the church staff, volunteers, or programming. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 places the spiritual development of children squarely on the parents” shoulders. If we were to apply this old covenant commandment

November 9, 2015

My Third Culture Kids

By Erin Moore I”ve been reading about “third culture kids” lately. The term refers to children who are from one culture but are living in a completely different one. It”s not a topic I”ve researched in depth, but lately it has greater meaning for me as my kids are getting a little older.Â I was reading some essays by an American woman who grew up in Pakistan. She recalls her earliest memories as a child of about 4. I looked at my own third culture kids in awe. I realize as the mother of these three children, I can understand

September 8, 2015

Mark A. Taylor

Family & Relationships Marriage

Parenting Predictable, Not Perfect

By Mark A. Taylor Which of these videos reminds you of an awkward moment at your house? Did you ever lose a hamster? Did you ever make yourself sick making your kids happy? Did parenting ever take you out of your comfort zone? Well, take heart. “You don”t have to be perfect to be a perfect parent.” It”s a message as encouraging for biological parents as it is for those who would adopt. And it”s exactly what Jack Holland told us in our August 20 episode of Beyond the Standard. In fact, he says professional literature on successful families uses

August 28, 2015

Michael C. Mack

Make Your Marriage Ministry Proactive

By Michael C. Mack How is your church helping married couples before they get into crisis mode? Lindy Lowry, founder of MarriedPeople (www.marriedpeople.org), says she”s found that while every church spends time and resources on helping marriages, efforts are mainly reactive rather than proactive (see the chart of her findings). Lowry has found five steps beneficial in developing a proactive marriage ministry: 1. Begin with the end in mind. What is the purpose of marriage? To reflect the relationship between Christ and his church (Ephesians 5:32). The purpose of your strategy should match that. 2. Empower and equip leaders. In

August 27, 2015

Family & Relationships Marriage

What to Cover In Premarital Counseling

By Gary Zustiak When I do premarital counseling, I require a five-session commitment from the couple. Here”s what I cover in those sessions: Session 1: Basic Information I get to know the couple by asking how they met, how long they”ve dated, and how long their engagement is. I have them answer the five questions from H. Norman Wright”s book, Before You Say “I Do.” Then I ask them to list 10 ways their families are similar and 10 ways they”re different. Family Systems Therapy has found a number of characteristics, behaviors, ideals, and other factors are passed down from

August 10, 2015

7 Things Singles Want Their Pastors to Know

By Jennifer Johnson “¢ Please acknowledge that our culture is couple-focused.Â Many people still believe you”re incomplete””and you must be unhappy””if you”re not married. While many of us would like to be married, the fact that we aren”t doesn”t define who we are. We live in a culture that idealizes romantic love and feels sorry for those not in a relationship, but the church should have a richer perspective on each individual”s value in the body of Christ. It”s not your fault that our culture trends this way, but don”t let the church inadvertently reinforce it. “¢ We don”t mind

August 9, 2015

Family to the Family-less

By Danielle Hance Christians are called to love widows and orphans. But there may be other metaphorical orphans within your church or just beyond your church doors. For instance, the university student who is from out of state. The young business professional starting her career in a new city. The foundering 20-something who moved out of his parent”s basement and is trying to make it on his own. It may seem like single young adults have everything going for them. Life is full of possibilities. They are healthy and vibrant. Once you get past the “picture-perfect” exteriors, though, you may

August 8, 2015

What”s the Big Deal about Dad?

Psychologists, sociologists, and experts on the family weigh-in on the damage caused by absent fathers. Compiled by Becky Ahlberg “NEIGHBORHOOD STANDARD may be set by mothers but they are enforced by fathers, or at least by adult males. Neighborhoods without fathers are neighborhoods without men able and willing to confront errant youth, chase threatening gangs, and reproach delinquent fathers. The absence of fathers deprives the community of those little platoons that informally but effectively control the boys on the street.” “”James Q. Wilson, “The Family Values Debate,” posted at www.commentarymagazine.com/article/the-family-values-debate/ “THE INEQUALITIES that stem from the workplace are

August 7, 2015

Father Figures

I”m in the ranks of all fathers learning about fathering on the job. But I”m also a part of the church that must find ways to help solve the father crisis in so many families today.Â By Jack Holland “You know, this is really going to change your life.” How many times I heard these words. Our first child was on the way. I was going to be a father. Was that phrase intended to end with an exclamation point or a question mark? I”m sure they meant well, but did even good friends question my capacity to be a

August 6, 2015

Family . . . Our Sacred Cow

By Randy Gariss “Sacred cows” exist in far more places than just India; you may find them in our culture”s views about family and home. Some of our most committed believers lack a biblical view of family,Â hurting both themselves and the church. Jesus said some pretty shocking and “unfamily things” about family. An example might be, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters””yes, even their own life””such a person cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26). Hate your family? Surely understanding the original Greek word softens this, right? No, sorry,

August 4, 2015

Mark A. Taylor