Articles for tag: Biblitically Correct

July 22, 2019

Christian Standard

Eisegesis for Everyone

From After Class Podcast Do you struggle to apply the Bible to your life? Does the Bible sometimes feel old and outdated? This new resource might be just what you need to jump-start your faith. Sonbeam Publishing is proud to bring you Eisegesis for Everyone. This empowering book employs the familiar technique of eisegesis so you can read your own brilliant insights into the Bible. Free from the shackles of original context, anyone can see any passage talking about—well—anything. No Bible training, no cultural background, and no historical awareness required. Now you can find your ideas all over the pages

June 22, 2019

Christian Standard

Up Against the Wall

From After Class Podcast Renovations to First Messianic Church’s building are underway. It was only a matter of time until the faithful followers at FMC took the Restoration plea to a whole new level by seeking to restore the ancient order of the Old Testament, as well. Since Jesus wouldn’t leave out a jot or tittle, neither would they. It began one Saturday afternoon while these retro-Israelites were studying 1 Samuel 25 in their KJV-Hebrew Interlinear Bibles. As the story goes, future King David fumed after being snubbed by Nabal. David vowed to avenge himself against every member of Nabal’s

May 22, 2019

Christian Standard

Misfitbit

From After Class Podcast It’s time Christians stop obsessing about fitness and start focusing on more important things in life—like sin. This is why we’ve developed an innovative, always-on-call spiritual healthcare consultant. The Misfitbit Sinful Activity Tracker is a technologically advanced wristband that monitors your morality 24/7. Its advanced voice-recognition software detects all verbal indiscretions, including, but not limited to, swearing, yelling in anger, and taking the Lord’s name in vain. The “Super Saint Setting” can also sense white lies and white curses like “darn,” “shoot,” and “heck.” Its übersensitive microphone detects when you are listening to inappropriate music, hanging

May 19, 2019

Christian Standard

The Greatest Story Ever Strolled

From After Class Podcast As Christian parents, we’re always looking for family-friendly vacation destinations. Since our young toddler had been to Disney five times already, it was time to mix things up a bit. So imagine our delight when just two hours north of Orlando, in the beautiful city of Paradise, opened the ultimate Christian theme park, The Greatest Story Ever Strolled. Immediately upon entering the majestic pearly gates, we were transported into the exotic world of Scripture. Characters decked out in authentic robes and sashes strolled along sandstone walkways while camel-led carts leisurely transported guests down lanes lined with

April 25, 2019

Christian Standard

Communion Commotion

From After Class Podcast A kerfuffle at First Church of Christ these last few months shows no signs of abating. During a study on Communion in the early church, the congregation learned that first-century Christians took Communion as part of a community meal at their regular gatherings. First Church, which is committed to restoring the New Testament pattern of worship, now has a potluck each Sunday after church. At about the midpoint of the meal, participants pause to remember the body and blood of Christ by sharing broken bread and the fruit of the vine. Though it has been well

April 22, 2019

Christian Standard

Left Behind

From After Class Podcast It began as an ordinary Sunday for lead evangelist “Dunker” Dave, but no one anticipated how it might end. “We were only joking,” explained James Murray, chairman of the elders. “I guess some people can’t stomach a good ribbing. We all feel terrible now.” The first service went off without a hitch; the second, not so much—an April Fools’ joke gone awry. “The boy performed splendidly,” explained deacon Joey Gatton, “perhaps too splendidly!” Dunker Dave beamed with pride when Murray’s son came forward to be baptized. The two of them went back to the dressing room

February 23, 2019

Christian Standard

Greekaholics Anonymous

From After Class Podcast Sponsor: Welcome, everyone, to this week’s meeting of Greekaholics Anonymous. The purpose of this support group is to help those of us who are helplessly addicted to using biblical languages in our sermons—even though we really don’t know what we are saying and most listeners have no idea what we’re talking about. Let’s begin with our GA preamble. Everyone: Preachers who don’t know Greek shouldn’t use Greek in their sermons. Sponsor: Would someone like to be the first to share with the group? Pastor Strong: Hello, my name is Jim and I’m a Greekaholic. Everyone: Hello,

January 29, 2019

Christian Standard

SimulServe Christian Church

By After Class Podcast Life is short. Who has time to work, sleep, exercise, entertain oneself, and go to church? Here at Simulserve Christian Church, we feel your pain. Come join us and experience transformative worship in the company of fellow believers each week without neglecting everyday tasks that simply must get done. Our state-of-the-art, multilevel worship silo is designed to serve busy people like you. Speedy elevators and moving walkways that surround the perimeter of our innovative 360-degree silo provide quick and ready access to a wide variety of personalized Simulsuites. Inside each one, you will enjoy front-row visibility of

January 3, 2019

Christian Standard

Niche Bible Nosedive

From After Class Podcast Despite record holiday sales, a titan of Christian merchandising is entering the new year in the red. Rumors of layoffs and closures at Living Path Christian Stores are growing. While sales on phone cases with crosses, waffle makers that burn the face of Jesus on batter, and “Save Your Breath” mints are up, executives fear their biggest moneymaker—the niche study Bible—has reached its saturation point. Living Path executive Jordan Gecko shared his vision: “Our goal has always been to put a targeted Bible into the hands of every seeker. So we try to follow cultural trends

December 22, 2018

Christian Standard

The Church of Christ Nativity Heist

From After Class Podcast Police have confirmed the mysterious Nativity heist has finally ended. “We’re glad it’s over. The whole town’s glad it’s over,” reported officer Melchior. For three weeks, the front yards of unsuspecting homeowners, respected public establishments, and houses of worship across Magian County have been repeatedly raided by previously unknown thieves. Strangely enough, only one item was routinely carted off—plastic or wooden figurines of the wise men who visited baby Jesus to bring him presents. “It was so strange,” reported 60-year-old Ricky Bob Gaspar. “I’ve never seen anything like this before. They left the cattle, the shepherds,

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