Care &amp; Counseling

After the Japanese Earthquake

By Reggie Hundley On March 11, a powerful earthquake struck just off the island of Japan. The destruction and loss of life from the quaking earth paled in comparison to the cataclysmic power of the resulting tsunami. News of the devastation traveled around the world. And within moments, people were contacting the forwarding agents of missionaries and the offices of Mission Services Association, the National Missionary Convention, International Disaster Emergency Services (IDES), and others. People from around the world wondered how friends and residents of Japan were faring. Perhaps the words of Paul Clark, longtime president of Osaka Bible Seminary,

February 10, 2011

Care & Counseling Trauma

Story of Abuse, Rescue Featured on “˜Oprah”

On Tuesday, Oprah Winfrey devoted her show to the story of Kathie and Kellie Henderson, sisters who were molested and abused by their father and brothers for years””and the family from Countryside Christian Church (Wichita, KS) who rescued them. Jim Vasey, an elder at Countryside and a member of the board of trustees at Ozark Christian College (Joplin, MO), and his wife, Shelly, lived in the same neighborhood as the girls but never suspected the abuse. When the sisters finally confided in them, the Vaseys contacted the police and walked with the girls through the difficult days that followed. Shelly

October 7, 2010

Offering Prayers after School Shooting

Our prayers are with the faculty and students at Mid-Atlantic Christian University (Elizabeth City, NC) after a Mid-Atlantic student allegedly shot and killed sophomore Jonathan Schipper on Sunday. The school has held a memorial service and many local ministers and counselors are available to staff and students. “We appreciate the outpouring of love and support we are receiving from churches, Christians, sister schools, supporters, other institutions of higher education, the community of Elizabeth City, and friends and alumni around the world,” the school said in a press release. “While our response to your offers of support, love, and prayers may

August 1, 2010

Burnout in Ministry

By Ryan Conner Jim had trouble sleeping. He lay in bed most of the night tossing and turning. His mind kept repeating the same list of tasks. Getting ready for his day of ministry duties seemed to require extra effort. He dreaded going into the church office and dealing with the phone messages, e-mails, and the handful of people who can”t seem to leave him alone. The same ministry tasks that used to bring Jim so much joy and fulfillment””visitation, leading small groups, even preaching””now brought only stress and frustration. Thoughts popped into his mind throughout the day””perhaps he should

August 1, 2010

Avoiding Burnout, Surviving Burnout

By Mark A. Taylor Any of us could create situations that might lead to burnout among our Christian leaders. But burnout-afflicted ministers are not at the mercy of forces around them. They can control several steps that will lead to restored health. Ryan Connor this week makes some suggestions. R. Loren Sandford offers more in his book Renewal for the Wounded Warrior: A Burnout Survival Guide for Believers (Chosen Books, 2010). His advice for growing out of burnout can also help many of us from falling into it in the first place. Some of his ideas: “¢ Break the personal

July 14, 2010

Letting Go: The First Step Beyond

By Mark A. Taylor God is here. God is in control. I am not in control. And I don”t want to be. That simple testimony, offered by a middle-aged woman in a church service I visited this summer, has stayed with me through all the weeks since. She spoke of how God washed away her fears about her health and her family. She found peace when she finally decided to quit worrying and just submit her anxieties to him. “The last sentence is the biggest challenge,” someone in my group remarked afterwards. Almost everyone will say that God, or a

May 16, 2010

Journey to Hope

By Mike and Kari MacKenzie JOHN I don”t want to be here! I don”t want to be here! I don”t want to be here! That was the only thought going through my mind as my wife and I silently drove up the long, twisting mountain road to the counseling retreat for pastors. Yeah, I admit things had been a little rough lately with conflict in the church and declining attendance. It had been a little harder to find that old passion for prayer, preparation, and preaching. I hadn”t been getting sleep lately, but God said in his Word it wouldn”t

March 31, 2010

This, too, Shall Pass

By Mark A. Taylor After one of the roughest winters inÂ memory for many Christian StandardÂ readers, Easter and the promise of spring couldn”t have come too soon. Even as we finish preparing this issue the first week of March, the lawns of our city are still half-covered with snow. Huge hills of the stuff””dirtied by car exhaust and gravel””still tower on the edges of many parking lots. It”s difficult for us to imagine little girls in pastel dresses posing in front of daffodils and Easter lilies as we hurry about our business still trying to shrug off the cold. But we

March 21, 2010

When You Feel Like Giving Up, Giving In, or Getting Out

By Rick Grover I probably shouldn”t be writing this on a Monday. But deadlines are deadlines, and ministry, as you know, isn”t all about how we feel . . . even (and perhaps especially) when we feel like giving up, giving in, or getting out. I didn”t always feel this way, and I don”t always feel this way now. But it is Monday. And I, like so many other preachers, look back on Sunday with those “woulda, coulda, shoulda” thoughts that drag us downward. Maybe I”m sounding a bit overdramatic, but I don”t think so. Ministers don”t always like to

March 17, 2010

Life is Hard, and That”s OK

By Mark A. Taylor I”ve thought a lot about the churches I know, the parachurch ministries I”ve seen, and the work situations I”ve experienced. My conclusion: There”s a problem with all of them. To one degree or another, they”re all broken. In fact, some are shattered messes. Every senior minister or elder or boss or chief executive has a blind spot. And some at the top are plagued by self-interest, paranoia, or a true incompetence they”re frantic to hide. Every organization chart, while conceived to solve problems, thereby creates new difficulties for those who must function within it, bound by

February 7, 2010

Enduring a Painful Ministry

By Brian Giese Hebrews 13:17 exhorts Christians to respect and follow their church leaders so their work will be a joy rather than a burden. That is God”s ideal. But what happens to a leader who is rebuffed by his followers and loses the joy of ministry? Many factors can cause a church leader to lose effectiveness in serving a body of believers. We will consider some of these factors later. For now, we must acknowledge that many church leaders have suffered from painful resistance to and/or forced termination of their ministries. Many statistics are available concerning this subject. Suffice

January 31, 2010

Forgiving Ourselves

By John Mark Hicks “This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything” (1 John 3:19, 20). Self-forgiveness is a controversial topic. Many believe it is so tied to self-help and self-esteem pop psychology that it actually is a reflection of pride and lack of faith. There is no text in Scripture that explicitly commands self-forgiveness, it is said, and only God can forgive. Others, however, genuinely punish themselves by

December 13, 2009

Pastoral Care in the Midst of Crisis

By Ken Swatman The phone rang at 11:00 p.m. (never a good sign). It was the local police department, where I serve as a chaplain. A young single mother had just found her 4-month-old baby girl unconscious and not breathing. I grabbed my coat and ran out the door. When I arrived at the house I found the young mother sitting on the kitchen floor, devastated. As a pastor and chaplain I was being asked to bring some kind of comfort, care, and peace to an event that was tragic beyond words. When tragedy strikes our congregations and communities, we

October 18, 2009

Someone in the Church Family Has Just Died

By Marshall Hayden Those of us who serve in ministry with a church family are asked by members and the community to do several things. People seek counseling; and most of us refer more often than we accept. Groups are looking for a speaker; and we will accept the events we feel good about. Couples come asking us to perform a wedding. Some we accept. Several we decline. But there is one request that, as a minister, I have never turned down. A funeral is an opportunity for meaningful service, and often a chance to open hearts to the good

October 18, 2009

Grief Ministry: How Your Church Can Help

Â Â Â by Victor M. Parachi It was January 2001, the beginning of a new year, but I dreaded getting out of my cave, the name I applied to my bedroom. It had been two months since my 23-year-old daughter was killed in an accident. Though a new year was emerging, there was no sign my pain was departing. “”Scott N. I prayed, stood by her bedside, held her small hand, stayed up all night, and refused to give up on her, yet she died. My baby died only 29 days after her birth. For me there would be no

October 18, 2009

Words of Life and Death

Â by Larry W. Timm When death occurs, a minister encounters a unique and sacred duty. The deceased is someone”s loved one and God”s valuable creation; there is sanctity in both. Death erases neither. When asked to speak at a funeral service, our attitude will influence our preparation and proclamation. If we see a funeral as an interruption in our ministry instead of an expression of it, we will be poor stewards of this important opportunity. However, if we approach each funeral as a unique and sacred part of our calling, we can offer leadership and service as caring shepherds.

August 9, 2009

Whatever Happened to Pastoral Care?

Â by David A. Fiensy It is unusual when someone enters your office, sits down, and immediately begins crying. When the white-haired lady regained her composure, she said only, “My husband is in the car. Would you come out and talk to him? Our minister won”t.” Thus began my acquaintance with this saintly, if unusual, couple that would continue over the next six months for him and over the next few years for her. Later, as I stepped inside the door of their small, frame house on the appointed day of my visit, the wail arose almost immediately. The poor

July 26, 2009

Principles that Saved My Life

Â By Derek L. Duncan In 1911 a columnist named George Hamlin Fitch wrote a book called Comfort Found in Good Old Books. In it, he described how books helped him through the devastating loss of his son. A quote in it is especially important for us as believers. After discussing things that gave him comfort, like familiar books that helped him focus on right issues (and not circumstantial tragedies that affect us all), he wrote, Â No literary skill can bind up the broken hearted. No beauty of phrase can satisfy the soul that is torn by grief. No,

July 26, 2009

Mad Church Disease

By Anne Jackson Certain internal factors can make us more at risk for becoming burned-out. Most of these are features we are born with. They reflect how God knit together the fibers of our being. And because they are fairly hard-wired, these characteristics aren”t easily changed, and that is OK. We have to accept the fact that, although these may sometimes seem like limitations, they are the very things that make us unique. Personality TypeÂ Most of us are familiar with type A and type B personality descriptors. Look at the table below. Which personality type do you lean toward?

July 26, 2009