By Jim Tune
The Christmas story helps me appreciate perplexity. The Bible reminds me that God does some of his best work with people who are truly and seriously confused. Abraham and Sarah were perplexed about God”s promise. Elijah, even after a great victory, battles doubt and depression in the desert while fleeing the fury of a queen named Jezebel. And then there”s Mary.
In the weeks leading up to Christmas we will hear the story of Mary and her incredible dialogue with an angel. The Bible records that Mary “was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be” (Luke 1:29, New Revised Standard Version). Mary seems remarkably restrained in how she describes her emotional state and in what she commits to. Having given herself up in service to God, she says, “Let it be with me according to your word” (v. 38).
Mary doesn”t deny her doubts. The Gospel refuses to downplay the fact that she is perplexed, and that Christ”s conception is downright bewildering, even to Jesus” mother. I think this is a freeing truth. It”s OK to doubt. Perplexity happens.
I read a fascinating observation about religion and a personality test called the MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory). The MMPI has a scale designed to detect false answers. Research indicates religious people tend to give more false answers than nonreligious people, and the more conservative a person”s religion, the more false answers he or she tends to give. Psychologists suggest this is because those of us inside a strong faith tradition tend to confuse our aspirations with our achievements. Religious people have a difficult time admitting their sin, struggles, and weaknesses. Perhaps they feel their doubts will disqualify them in the eyes of others.
It might be possible, dear reader, that you, like I, struggle with authenticity. We like our Christian brothers and sisters to be “together.” And if they aren”t together, they had best pull it together. Consequently, we are afraid to be truly known.
For many, perplexity is a sure sign of spiritual weakness””but Mary was anything but weak! God can use moments of bewilderment to destroy our illusions of control and self-sufficiency and to remind us of our utter dependence on him. He uses our times of perplexity to humble us and shape us into people who are poor in spirit. Being poor in spirit is the greatest of gifts. And it is more likely to be found in our bewilderment than in a stocking or under the tree.
When I don”t have it together or understand the circumstances I find myself in, I tend to become more compassionate toward those who are struggling. After all, if the mother of Jesus was perplexed, you can be too.
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