By Jim Tune
I”ve heard the axiom “Love everyone, but move with the movers!” shared by speakers at leadership conferences. There”s truth in this counsel. I”ve had to encourage people to find another church when they became obtusely stuck on some element of vision or direction.
At some point, I”ve had to weigh the value of giving disproportionate amounts of energy to people who refuse to change or compromise. So yeah, there”s some wisdom in moving with the movers. That said, I”m not entirely comfortable with this approach. Sometimes in order to truly love someone like Jesus did, you just have to endure them and patiently continue to serve them. It”s too easy to dismiss anyone who opposes your vision as not worth your time.
It is important to maturely discern the difference between the one who is stuck and the one who is simply an inconvenience. If we want to experience greater levels of authenticity in the church, we must be willing to create safe spaces for difficult or hurting people who are on a slower journey toward transformation. Jesus had the discernment to ask a chronically sick man if he really wanted to get well. I think Jesus was prodding the man to consider deeper questions like: Are you ready to leave behind all of the excuses? Can you handle the responsibilities that will become a regular part of your life now? Or do you really prefer to stay stuck?
On the other hand, Jesus always had time for people who wanted to get unstuck””even the slow to learn or change. Jesus was available in ways that created radical change in people”s lives. He gave them space to be honest about their pain and suffering. His was a ministry of inconvenient interruptions. Jesus walked toward those in pain instead of running the other way.
I regret that I have, on occasion, brushed off people who were simply too slow to run with the pace of my vision. Real ministry happens when we cultivate communities for people to grow, change, and heal. This always requires practice. I am trying to become more willing to engage with people who rub me the wrong way. I need to rub up against my own judgmental tendencies, fears, selfishness, and woundedness.
Safety doesn”t mean anything goes. It is about long-haul relationships where we are willing to accept others” flaws and weaknesses because we are radically aware of our own. Spiritual transformation takes time and looks different for every person. It requires that we be willing to slow down, engage in healthy conflict, and have the ability to stay in relationships when the going gets tough.
For a driven, goal-oriented, fast-moving church planter like me, this level of long-term and slow engagement can be frustrating. But Jesus hasn”t called me to be driven, or to drive people. He has called me to love them.
Thanks Jim for a well thought out assessment. Sometimes it is so easy to forget our own flaws when we are so busy tearing down others for their flaws. May God help us to listen twice as much as we talk – for after all, He gave us two ears for a reason, and may we remember what Jesus said was the two greatest commandments – Love God with all our heart, all our soul and all our mind and love our neighbours as ourselves.