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They come in cycles. A long period of time goes by when everything is copasetic, then bad decisions hit the light of day and another minister falls. The cause? An “inappropriate relationship.” The last few months have seen a spate of them, and they bring us back to the inevitable question where is the accountability?
I know of more than one well intentioned minister who had an accountability plan in place at the exact time he chased the wrong dream down the wrong alley. In each situation I asked, “Why didn’t you call your accountability partner?”
The answer was usually, “Oh, I did, that is until I decided I didn’t care anymore.”
“And did your accountability partner call you?” I asked.
“Yep!”
“And what did you tell him?”
“I told him what he wanted to hear, that everything was fine.”
And there you go. I do know of some accountability relationships that seem to work well. But is it because of the structure of accountability, or because of the underlying character of those who created the structure?
I have a weekly confessor who is not a friend. I don’t always want to tell my friends about my shadow side. At least not at the time I should be doing the telling. I want to wait until I am on solid ground again. Then I can say, “Boy, last month was a struggle.” I want to keep some distance between me and my shadow.
That is precisely why I have a weekly confessor someone to tell about my shadow side at the time I need to be confessing it. It is a specific relationship about specific subjects. Subjects I am not going to write about here. It is possible to be too transparent.
So I call my accountability partner once a week, and talk about whatever is troubling me. I am amazed at how cleansing it is at least when I am totally honest. I suppose no accountability plan is any stronger than one’s commitment to it.
Every last one of us is just one stupid step from a very great fall. I do not want all the king’s horses and all the king’s men to look at me and shake their weary heads. I want to keep this vulnerable heart as far from the edge of the wall as I can one week at a time.
That’s my accountability plan. So, what’s yours? “
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