A Choice, Not a Prayer Request

September 16, 2014

Mark A. Taylor

By Mark A. Taylor I”ve written before about a friend in ministry who was dealing with some difficult people. “Why don”t you show them why they need to approach this problem in a different way?”ย I asked her. “Because people don”t change,”ย she said. “My telling them another way is better won”t make any difference. … Read more

By Mark A. Taylor

I”ve written before about a friend in ministry who was dealing with some difficult people. “Why don”t you show them why they need to approach this problem in a different way?”ย I asked her.

“Because people don”t change,”ย she said. “My telling them another way is better won”t make any difference. They”re going to do this the way they want to do it, not the way I say they should.”ย

If she”s right, how do we ever see change happen?

At least a part of the answer comes in the excellent essays by Casey Tygrettร‚ย  and Becky Ahlberg . To lead change, I must change. In a complicated world with setbacks and dysfunctional situations that threaten to overwhelm us, the only thing I can change is myself.

There”s peace in this. I”m not responsible for all the progress my kids or my church staff or my minister should make. All I can change is myself.

There”s strategy in this. When I see all the ways I think God wants to work in any situation, my first question is, “What can I do differently to make this better?”ย

There”s progress in this. I can start with a list of areas where I know I need to improve and then tackle at least one of the items”โ€today.

09_eddy_JNI can decide to quit eating dessert. I can decide to take the steps instead of the elevator. I can decide to get up 15 minutes early to pray. I can decide to compliment and encourage a Christian leader for what he”s doing right (even though I think he”s doing some things wrong). I can invite a non-Christian neighbor to dinner. I can decide not to watch television one evening a week and devote that time to reading or a service project. I can do something kind for my critic while I choose to seek criticism from a few I know I can trust.

With God”s strength and by his grace, I can change. But it”s foolish to think God will change me against my will or that he”ll impose his will on anyone else. He may create pressure that will motivate a person to decide to change. But sometimes that pressure only hardens the sinner”s resolve.

The psalmist prayed, “Create in me a pure heart, O God”ย (Psalm 51:10). God answered the prayer, after David had decided he needed to repent. And so, as I”m thinking about change, the first step is to consider, Where is the different direction I need to be headed?ร‚ย 

And here”s the interesting part. Seeing you change may be the catalyst that leads someone else to make a change himself.

Mark A. Taylor
Author: Mark A. Taylor

Mark A. Taylor, who served as Christian Standard editor from 2003 to 2017, retired in June 2017 after almost 41 years with Standard Publishing (Christian Standard Media).

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